Page 18 of The Princes of Stone and Steel

“We’ve shared so many kisses, Millie. Too many to count, yet not nearly enough.”

“Can you tell me about it? Something to help jog my memory, maybe?”

“I can’t, Mils. You need to remember on your own or you’ll never truly believe me. What my father wants from you, he can only get if you remember. But what I want can only happen if you remember.”

The sounds of voices floated at us from the hallway outside my cell. He stiffened, hugging me tighter, pressing a finger to his pursed lips in that universal sign for ‘for god’s sake stay quiet.’ Could he be telling the truth? Could I have actually meant something to this tall, strong, drink of princely water? If so, then why didn’t I remember. Aunt Cynthia. School. The daycare. Those memories I could believe in, count on. Those were real.

But even as I searched them, I suddenly discovered that I couldn’t see any further back than this year. No grueling English paper that took months of research freshman year. I’d overheard freshman discussing it in the cafeteria, so why couldn’t I remember doing it?

The sophomore trip to Washington DC that I would’ve begged Aunt Cynthia to let me go on, which she would totally have denied me, but I’d have begged just the same. I heard the other seniors reminiscing about when they’d gone while wistfully watching the sophomores load onto the chartered buses.

How—why? Why didn’t I remember any of it? The shock of this realization made my skin feel too tight, like I was ready to split out of it, because if I’d been there then why couldn’t I remember? And if I wasn’t there, then where the hell had I been?No.You’re beingridiculous Millie. Of course, you were there, it was the head blow. That head blow outside our farmhouse must have been worse than I originally assumed.

“We don’t have much time.” –Steele’s words pulled me from my thoughts— “I’m going to convince my father somehow to let you roam the grounds with me,” he said. “When anyone else besides Korrigan is with us, I’ll have to be Prince Aereus. I don’t want to be, but it’s for your safety. I promise it’s only for your safety. But I won’t be able to hold you or touch you or kiss you.” He laughed to himself, shaking his head. “That’s the truest definition of torture, having you this close and not being able to kiss you.”

“I never asked for any of this,” I whispered.

“Neither of us did. We were forbidden from the start. Still, it never stopped you. Not my beautiful, brave Millicent Merchant. Nothing ever stopped you. Please… Please try to remember, Mils. For us.”

Outside my cell we heard more voices along with the chaotic sound of scrambling feet. “Summon Prince Aereus,” someone shouted. “They’re advancing at the southerngate.”

“Who, Steele? Who’s advancing?”

“I have to go, Mils.”

“Please, don’t leave me. I have a bad feeling… please don’t leave.” The pull from my heart told me not to let him go. Why couldn’t my head and my heart finally connect to give me something concrete?

Steele stood, placing me back down on the cot. “I have to go, Mils. It’s too dangerous for you if I don’t, and I won’t risk your safety. Not again.” Then he leaned in, kissing me once more before turning for the door. He stopped briefly. “Try to remember,” he said without looking back at me, and he slipped seamlessly out of the room.

Ten

I just want my life back

SO MUCH WAS HAPPENING OUT THERE, YET THEY kept me prisoner, stuck inside this cell, unable to help Steele or Korrigan, still wondering why I evenwantedto helpSteeleorKorrigan. I lay, curled up in a ball on my cot, straining to hear anything to clue me in as to what situation he faced at the southern gate. Whatever “the southern gate” was. Wherever thisplacewas.

And I didn’t know how long I lay there, those four walls closing me off from all time, entombing me as generations rose and fell around me, or at least that was how it felt. As I was far from a patient person, sitting idly had never suited me. So this, being locked up in here, was sheer torture. Hungry and anxious, I waited for news, any news.

When the door popped open, my heart jumped. He’d come back for me. Steele had come back for me. But… the figure who slipped inside my cell wasn’t Steele. It wasn’t Steele, yet I knew him.

“You are safe,” he said, releasing a long breath along with his smile. This smile I remembered. This face I remembered.

“Mármaro?” This man I recognized from my dreams. Hundreds and hundreds of dreams over the years—or what I came to realize might have only been one year—featured the man standing very real in front of me and the other Millicent. Yet, how could he know us both? Maybe—Aunt Cynthia would’ve definitely chided me for thinking such a thought—but maybe I was a reincarnation of the original Millicent. Maybe that was why I dreamed of her and Mármaro.

“You remember?” His eyes lit and his voice rose a notch from excitement. “Oh, Millicent. You remember me.” He took those same few steps Steele had before, dropping to a squat in front of me, but instead of my heart thrumming with warmth, actually nothing happened. My head told me he was a friend and so while I took in his stone features, I scolded my heart for not recognizing that fact. “I heard you were here,” he said and I didn’t know what to think about any of this.

“Are you here to rescue me?”

“I wish I could. Millicent, how I wish I could. But we need you. We need you to find out what the Forfex are planning. Why have they captured you and brought you back here after all this time? Can you do this for us, Millicent? Can you find out their plans?”

He scraped a light finger against my cheek, then leaning in, he delicately pressed a kiss to the top of my head, never once letting his eyes stray to the cut on my lip. The thing marred my face glaringly, yet he never commented on it. I supposed he figured out what happened without me having to relive it. That was nice. The only nice considering the moment we were sharing. I didn’t get the same reaction from his kiss as I did from Steele, because his lips pressed tenderly yet…cold. This kiss feltnothing like the ones from Steele. But I remembered him, remembered feeling safe around him.

“Why can’t you just take me now?”

“It’s too risky. You can’t imagine what I went through just to get inside here. We’d never make it out alive together.”

“Okay. I—I’ll try.” My brows knitted together even as the words left my mouth. I mean, why bother to risk coming to talk with me if he wasn’t planning to help me escape? Still, I shook my head and repeated, “I’ll try.”

“That’s my girl. Our men have made a diversion to allow me enough time to slip in. So now I must go, but I promise I’ll get in touch.” And he ran his thumb along my chin before slipping back out of my tiny room and securing the lock once again.

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