Page 150 of New York Love Stories: Vol. 2

“It’s okay. You know I’ll tell you anything.”

Lowering her voice, she says, “How was it?”

“It was amazing.”Just like him.I keep that part to myself, though. Generally, I’m an open book, but sometimes, I keep my cards close to my chest. Jackson is one of those cards. My finances are another.

But I smile, thinking of how he makes me laugh when he gives me a hard time about pretty much everything. But then he looks at me like I’m more than he could ask for. The man is gorgeous with hisGQface and a body that is hard everywhere except when it comes to his heart.

I’m dramatic and over the top, and sometimes self-absorbed.So I’ve been told.Though I can admit to the tendencies and see the worst of my parents in me, Jackson seems to have a soft spot for me.

Go figure.

Tealey asks, “Amazing isamazing, so why are you calling me when you could be with him right now?”

“I . . .” I stand back up and pace in front of the windows, staring out into the darkness of the night. Lights dot the cityscape like stars in the sky. “What if I mess it up?” That would be so like me. I not only have a knack for falling into traps but I’ve caused a few catastrophes as well and never portrayed myself any different.

It’s just safer to be alone.

“You won’t,” she says. “Jackson knows who you are, and that’s who he wants.”

“I don’t want him to hurt me.” I clear my throat softly to clear the emotions threatening to clog. “Every man I’ve ever trusted has hurt me in one way or another. Cheating boyfriends in high school or guys who dumped me in college to the ultimate betrayal of my dad. Always traveling to a new movie set, he left the house manager to raise me. And let me tell you, she wasn’t paid enough for that job. I may have felt abandoned by my parents physically, but I knew I would always have a safety netfinancially. I never thought my dad was capable of doing what he did.” I tear up. “The lies. I can’t get past the lies he told me.”

“You don’t need to forget or forgive right now. That can come in time if you so wish, but those situations are better handled after sunrise. As for Jackson, he’s not like your dad or any of those loser boyfriends.”

I stop and cross my arm over my chest, holding my hand on my other bicep. “I’m messed up, Tealey. I don’t want to hurt him either.”

“Then don’t.”

The answers come so easily to her. I always thought as a social worker, she’d see things as right or wrong, fair or unfair, but she lives in the gray area, her heart empathetic to others. That’s not a trait I was born with, but I’m envious of her. I’m so fortunate to have her in my life. She knows my heart, and I’ll be forever grateful for her friendship.

“Maybe it is that easy,” I say, “and I’m overthinking this. The man didn’t ask me to marry him. It was only a kiss, no matter how amazing it was.”

“I can tell you’re tired. Go easy on yourself and get some rest, Marlow. You can deal with everything in the light of day instead of self-sabotaging yourself in the late hour.”

The university’s freshmen orientation may have brought Tealey and Cammie into my life, but our friendship has thrived over the years. The weight of my worries begins to dissipate. “Why do I feel like I have to solve all my problems tonight?”

“I don’t know. You have a lot going on in your life, so maybe that’s making you restless.”

“You’re right.” Thinking about Jackson brings a smile to my face. “I can go back in there and just sleep.”

“Exactly. Just enjoy your time with him.”

Breathing becomes easier. “Hey,” I whisper, “thanks for answering.”

“Always. Go have a good night.”

“You, too. Good night.”

I hang up and return my phone to my bag before slipping back into bed. There’s no great production. Jackson just rolls over and wraps me in his arms again like we’ve done this a million times.

Reveling in the feel of him pressed against me, I close my eyes, feeling safe, feeling cared for, feeling cherished, and fall back asleep.

Startling awakein the gentle light of the rising sun, I gasp as my heart races. Fortunately, Jackson’s still asleep next to me.

Not closing the blinds before we fell into bed was a mistake, although understandable since he’s utterly distracting. The man is a modern-day Adonis, and he kept his promise. I forgot all about the rest of the world.At least for a few hours.

I gently maneuver out from under the heaviness of his arm, the heat too much to stay covered, and then shield my eyes from the brightness pouring in from the outside.

Tiptoeing across the room, I go into the bathroom to freshen up. The giddiness I felt only hours ago has settled into the pit of my stomach, making me question myself all over again.

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