CHAPTER 8

Marlow

Things are so normal here at Rad and Tealey’s. I almost forget my world is falling apart.

Almost.

I don’t forget.

I can’t.

It’s impossible with Jackson not here. Not only has he broken tradition with his absence but my heart’s not feeling so great either after our confrontation.

Cammie’s just passed out bowls of popcorn to everyone, and by the swearing coming from the living room, Rad and Cade aren’t happy about the last touchdown. I stare out the window, mindlessly shoving the popcorn in my mouth, wondering what Jackson’s doing.

Is he still mad?He’s never been one to easily anger. He’s usually pretty laid-back in his approach to life. Not like me, who thrives off a high-strung life. My strings are so taut that he played my body like a fiddle, but a violin feels more fitting.

I’m still at a loss as to why he’s always talking about some invisible barrier around me. I feel good around him, not like I’m hiding anything, much less on guard protecting my heart. So it’s simply not true.

I let him in, as in as we agreed to be, so I’m still not seeing the problem. The problem I do see, though, is that we left things sort of in the air. Though that might be putting a positive spin on his response that he won’t wait. Was that retaliation for me saying don’t, or is that how he really feels?

Sex seems to be the purest part of our relationship. Not that we lie. No, we’re probably too honest sometimes. We just have a way of saying whatever’s on our minds. There’s no filter between us. Right now, too many feelings are involved.

I hate fighting with him.

I hate this ache in my chest.

I hate that he might be hurting as well.

I hate it if he’s not thought twice about me since I left.

I hate everything when things aren’t right with Jackson.

Sitting down in a chair across from me at the dining table, which is covered in snacks between us, Cammie stares at me.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing.”

“Clearly, there’s something.” I drop my head to the side and stare right back at her, mad that she’s interrupting my wallowing. Though I also can’t help noticing her brown hair has gotten so long that the tips dip below the table when she leans forward to rest her chin in her hand. I’m tempted to ask her if she’s using a new shampoo, but honestly, I lack the energy to think about anything other than the fight I had with Jackson earlier.

What’s wrong with me?

Beauty products are my jam, but even those don’t hold my interest at the moment.

She says, “Why do you look like you lost your puppy?”

“Even if I am mad at him, I wouldn’t call Jackson a dog.” Sighing, I sound pathetic even to my ears. I miss the safety he provided me. Rad gets up and walks to the front door, momentarily distracting me. I welcome the diversion.

Cammie laughs lightly. “I know what you mean.” She leans forward. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Tealey joins us at the table and tops off my glass. “What are we talking about?”

“Jackson,” Cammie replies.

“Nothing,” I reply at the same time.

Our eyes dart from one to the other before Tealey says, “Okaaaaay.”