Page 212 of New York Love Stories: Vol. 2

She rolls onto her side with her hand tucked under her cheek. Her eyes are glistening despite the smile that tussles to stay in place. Reaching over, she rests her hand on my chest, and whispers, “I told my mom goodbye. For now. That it was best if we didn’t see each other again until we’re in a better place.”

Covering her hand with mine, I say, “That must have been hard.”

“Not as hard as it should have been. I’m in too good of a place right now to keep harboring those negative feelings.” She sighs and focuses on our hands being together.

She sounds so strong, but that had to be disappointing. She went tonight to work through their issues, and now she’s walked away completely. She’s brave or putting on a face of indifference. I’m not sure either will serve her well in the weeks to come. But maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this will bring closure. We can only hope it turns out that well.

“Long story, but she always judged—my looks, my clothes, my achievements. I was never enough. But I found I was doing that to her. Sitting across the table from her and Paolo, judging her hair and the way she looked at me. I was mentally picking her apart to feel better in her company. It wasn’t working.” Her gaze slides up to mine again. “I don’t want to be that person anymore. I don’t want to be like her.”

Moving closer, she drapes her leg over mine. “Thank you for making me understand what acceptance feels like for the first time.” A light laugh trickles through her and escapes. “And I know Tealey and Cammie have always cared about me. So I’m not saying any of this to take away from their friendship.” Snuggling as close as she can, she kisses my chest, andcontinues, “I want to say this, so you know the impact you’ve made on me. Thank you, Jackson.”

There’s no great production put on. We’re just two people with our own troubles, finding comfort in each other. I catch her watching me when we’re brushing our teeth, a glimpse of a smile that looks like she has a secret when she’s winding her hair on top of her head for the night. While I lie in bed with my worries escalating, I watch her in the cracked open door as she puts lotion on her legs.

While these mundane things may have been a routine she developed over the years, it’s new for us. Having her here for things like this—early morning talks and getting ready for the day together—these small things bring a sense of peace, safety, and love. This is our routine. Something we created together.

This means walls have been broken down, and her heart, once buried within a suit of armor, is opening to me.

She switches off the light and climbs in bed next to me. Slipping across the king-sized mattress, she kisses me and then rolls over to face away from me. I kiss her shoulder and the back of her neck, the gentle slope that leads to her shoulder. “I love you,” I whisper against her skin and then wrap around her.

Her hand covers mine this time, and she whispers, “I love you.”

It used to be about the big moments, the gestures that made a splash to get her to take notice of me. Now it’s the nightly routine that has us returning to each other every night to fall asleep together.

Reachingthe end of the path, I stop, tipped over with my hands resting above my knees. It’s fucking freezing this morning, butsomehow, Rad convinced me to go for a run. I wanted to say no, but he said he needed to talk to me about something important regarding Tealey.

The girl’s like my little sister. If something’s going on with her, I need to know.

I’m also desperate to get out of my own head and in need of the distraction from the situation with the lawsuit.

We start walking to catch our breath after thinking it was a good idea to race the last half mile to get to this finish line. Reality check: we are not young enough for this anymore. “I’m blaming the thin air,” I say, glancing at Rad. He’s not doing much better. “I want to get back in shape.”

He says, “What are you doing? Weights?”

“Yeah, but I’m stiff. I need to run more.”

He reaches over and shoves my arm. “You and Marlow are settled into playing house. Next thing you know, you’ve packed on the love pounds. That’s what Tealey calls them.”

I rub my stomach, thinking he’s right on those pounds.Fuck.“So what’d you want to talk about?”

“Before we get into it, Tealey sent me on a mission to find out new details about you and Marlow. Apparently, quick glimpses into your relationship over brunch isn’t enough, so you gotta give me something to take home, man.”

I chuckle, running my hand over my hair. “It’s good. Is it bad to worry about jinxing it?”

“Why would you worry about that?”

“Because Marlow and I both suck at relationships?—”

“Nah, don’t do that, Jackson. The past isn’t a reflection on the future unless you don’t learn from it.” He veers off the path into the winter grass and stands near the edge of the lake. Squatting down, he keeps his sights on the water when he continues, “I’m sorry works wonders if you mean it and not fucking up in the first place does an even better job.” He standsback up. “Trust me, I know. We all fuck up. All of us, but you and Marlow will do what you and Marlow do. If you start stressing about what will happen, you’ll lose sight of what’s happening in the present.” We get back on the path and start walking again. “Are you happy?”

“I’m happy.” Picking up the pace, we fall into a steady jog.

“Then just be happy.”

I like how it sounds like a decision I need to make. Maybe I’m overthinking it, and it’s just a choice I make. “So what’s going on with Tealey?”

Rad says, “I asked her to marry me, and then life got in the way. I want to remedy that.”

It’s not so much surprise I feel but fascinated that he’s bringing it up. It’s not been my business to ask about the pace of their relationship, but it seems like it’s been longer than either of them thought it would be. “What are you thinking?”

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