Page 24 of Dev

“Frank, that's Callum Monkhouse gathered with all those bikers!” Mom's shriek interrupts me and causes Dev to look up from the open ground he’s staring into. “Whatever would Paul say if he saw him with them?”

“Relax, dear, Paul used to work for the club,” Dad whispers assuringly. “I’m assuming Callum is following in his footsteps.”

“Paul? Work forthem?Does Hilda know?”

“He doesn’t work for them anymore, he’s retired, and I’m not sure if she knows. Can we just focus on?—”

“I never thought Paul would be involved with such atrocities. Hilda is a valued member of the church committee. She was just elected as our treasurer.”

“I think I might head over and check on Dev.” I’m about to leave them to their discussion, but as I start to move in his direction, my mother grabs my arm and tugs me back.

“No, Millie.” Her fingers dig deep into my skin. “Your involvement with these people is over now. We came here today to show our respect. Let’s put it all behind us now.”

“Mom, he just lost his little brother.” I try to pull my arm away, but her grip is too tight, and when I look back over my shoulder, I see Dev staring over at us like he’s about to commit murder.

“Tell her, Frank.” Mom looks to Dad for support.

“Your mother's right, darling, come on, it’s time to go home.”

I mouth the word sorry to Dev as I get led away by my parents, but he doesn't respond; he just glares back at me with that same look of hate.

“I’m still in shock about Paul.” Mom still hasn’t gotten over the Monkhouse’s dealings with the club as we pull through the gates to home. “And you never thought to tell me, Frank. Honestly, sometimes I worry about you.”

I sit in the backseat and stare out the window, wishing I could’ve headed back to the club with everyone else. I want to share their grief and hear stories about Corey. Maybe I could even have shared some of my own.

“And Callum, I thought that boy was going places. He studied at Harvard. I certainly won’t be giving him any of my business,”

“He’s not a boy, Julie. He’s thirty-two years old. He’s also a criminal defense lawyer, so I wouldn’t imagine you’d need his business anyway, ” Dad reminds her, looking back at me in the mirror and smiling. “He actually joined Paul and me for a round of golf on Paul’s birthday last month. He’s a nice guy.”

“Golf! Well, you won’t be playing golf with the Monkhouses anymore. Think of the campaign, Frank. It’s bad enough your daughter was dating one of their brothers. How do you think it will look if people find out you're playing golf with our local gang's legal team?”

I switch off from her voice as we get out of the car and step through the front door.

“I’m going to call Cynthia, she won’t believe it when I tell her what Hilda’s involved in.” Mom struts off to the living room while Dad loiters awkwardly in the hall beside me.

“Are you okay, pumpkin?” he checks, looking concerned.

“I think I’m just going to head to my room and lie down.” I smile back at him, wishing today could just hurry up and be over.

“Okay, sweetheart, you know where we are if you need us.” He kisses the top of my head before heading into his office, while I take the stairs up to my room.

I kick off my shoes and flop onto my bed, closing my eyes and covering my face with my hands. Maybe it’s wrong of me, but I can’t stop thinking about Dev. It was heartbreaking to see him standing beside his brother's grave, looking as if his whole world had come apart. I should have fought harder to go to him, even if the look on his face warned me not to. Despite having all his club brothers there to support him today, he looked as lonely as I feel. I could see that he’s weighed down by his guilt and plagued with regret. All of the things I’m suffering from, myself, and that night we comforted each other, has been the only relief I’ve had from it.

My parents don’t understand how I feel; all that matters to them is the family’s reputation. Do they honestly think this is something a therapist will help get me over?

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I can’t stay here. I’ll go crazy if I do. I need to be around the people who knew Corey. People who are grieving him the same way I am.

I need to be with Dev.

I use my newfound energy to haul my ass off the bed and replace the heels I was wearing with a pair of sneakers. Then, pushing up my window, I climb over the sill and onto the roof of the laundry room below. It’s not the first time I’ve done this. I’ve been sneaking out to see Corey after dark since I was fifteen.The bistro table and chair set, Greg and Rachel use for taking their cigarette breaks is the perfect landing spot as I climb down. Rushing toward the garden gate, I take out my cell and book an Uber to pick me up at the end of the road.

My adrenaline is pumping fast as I use the path at the back of the houses on our street to get to my pickup spot. I’m not sure how I’ll be received when I make it to the club. Last time I was there, Dev told me to leave; he said I didn’t belong there, and although he was probably right, today is different. Today is about Corey, and I was a big part of Corey’s life. Dev can’t stop me from being a part of his send-off, too, and he can’t stop me from at least offering him a little comfort.

“You're sure about this?” the Uber driver checks as I open the door to get out at the club gates.

“Very.” I smile at him through the visor mirror before I get out and straighten out my dress. There's no one on the gate as I walk through it toward the arch, and when I step into the yard, that's empty too.

Loud music is coming from inside the clubhouse, and it sounds much more like a party than a funeral reception. Still, I don’t give myself a chance to back out, I open the door and let myself inside.

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