Page 8 of Dev

“We’ve just grown apart, Daddy, don’t read too much into it.” I kiss his cheek to assure him that I’m okay.

“You know, I’m visiting the children's hospice tomorrow, you could come along and help hand out some of the toys we have for them.”

“Sounds good.” I nod, heading past him and straight up to my room. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place with a real tough decision to make.

My phone is still ringing at least every half an hour, and I can’t pick it up until I’ve decided for sure what I want to say. Dev is right about Corey joining the club, it’s a dream of his, but it would never work, Corey is far too kind to be an outlaw biker. He hasn’t got a trace of malice inside his body. And it would be such a waste of his talent; with the brains he’s been blessed with, he could be anything he wants to be.

It's unfortunate that all he’s ever wanted to be is his big brother.

Thinking about Dev again gets me all flustered, and at the same time, causes that ache deep inside me. I’ve never felt it for anyone other than him, not even during one of mine and Corey’s many,manymake-out sessions. By now, the two of us should have gone all the way, but it’s never felt right. I always felt cared for with Corey. I always felt safe. What I didn’t feel was desire.

The fact I feel that desire for Dev is wrong, and above everything else, it’s pointless. I would never hurt Corey’s feelingsby acting upon it, and even if I were to be that cruel, Dev wouldn’t be interested in agirllike me.

I’ve been to a few of the club beach parties, and I’ve seen the kind of girls who hang around him. They all have experience and sex appeal. I wouldn’t know the first thing about pleasuring a man like him. The thought of being one of those girls, just for one night, makes my skin flush with heat. Pulling my waitress's dress up to my waist, I lie back on my bed and slide my hand into my cotton panties. My pussy is already wet, it has been since I felt his fingers grip my throat. Seeing him so agitated was hot as hell, and having that aggression directed at me felt like some kind of fucked-up reward. Dev rarely gives me any attention; sometimes I swear he purposely avoids looking at me as punishment. But today, I had all his focus. My finger slips between my pussy lips, stroking softly as I pretend he’s the one doing the touching. I wonder if he kisses those whores while he fucks them. I wonder if he cares about giving them pleasure, or if he just uses them to get himself off.

“Knock. Knock.” I hear my mother's voice and panic.

“Just a second.” I quickly pull my hand away, standing back up and yanking my dress back down before I race to the door, take a breath, and open it.

“Ahhh, Daddy said you were home.” She smiles at me and steps past me to come inside. “That boy's here to see you.” Her smile fades into scorn.

“That boy has a name,” I remind her, realizing that I can’t spend any more time avoiding him. Not now that he’s started turning up here.

“He also has a reputation.” Mom rolls her eyes.

“No, his brother does. Corey isn’t a biker, Mom. He’s different.”

“Now, you know I have nothing against thebikers.” She says the word as if it carries a disease. “They have done some verycharitable work lately, your father speaks highly of them. But that doesn’t mean we want our little girl involv–”

“I’m eighteen. Not a little girl anymore,” I interrupt to remind her.

Thinking of the way Dev called me that earlier makes a shiver travel down my spine.

“You’ll always be our little girl.” Mom smiles softly as she strokes my cheek.

“I should go speak to Corey.” I smile back as I move past her and down the stairs.

I find Corey waiting in the room that Mother calls ‘the drawing room’. I've always wondered why, because no one in the house is remotely artistic. It’s just another one of her over-the-top attempts to impress.

“Hi.” I smile awkwardly as I enter.

“Hi, yourself.” Corey looks as if he hasn’t slept in weeks; his eyes are bloodshot with dark, heavy bags beneath them.

“You haven’t picked up any of my calls,” he speaks softly as he moves closer.

“It’s been a busy day.”

“I figured. I wanted to know how your first day went.” He reaches out to take my hand, then hesitates and pulls back. Seeing how much this is killing him is heartbreaking.

“It went great, the people who work there are really nice and–”

“I’m sorry,” he interrupts me. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I asked you that stupid question…” His cheeks flush pink. “I guess the end of high school just feels so final and uncertain.” He looks tortured and confused, and I want so much to comfort him, but at the same time, I don’t want to give him the wrong impression.

“Corey, it wasn’t just the proposal. For a while now, I’ve been feeling…” I pause when I can’t find the words.

“You love me, Millie, I know you do.” He takes my hands desperately in his. “Come on, this is us. We can work it out.”

“I do love you, but not in the way you want me to. Don’t you think it’s a little crazy that the two of us have never…?” I look over my shoulder in case my parents are eavesdropping.

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