Page 20 of This is Law

“Fuck you! You did fuck that bitch, and there isn’t shit that you can say to me that’ll make me think otherwise. All the hoes that you could have taken out with you, yet you decided to go with the one that you were familiar with, but like I told you, it’s cool. You know how many niggas try and talk to me on a daily? You know how many niggas I’m turning down just about every minute of the day? I met so many men while I was out in St. Maarten. I’m on this journey, where a man is the last thing that I’m worried about, but just to make your chest hurt, and to make you feel how I had to feel when I saw you out with that bitch, watch I start taking these niggas up on their offer!” she went off, and I still held onto that nonchalant look on my face, not bothered by a thing that she was saying.

“What you want a fuckin cookie for that shit? You think you going to get brownie points for taking random niggas up on their offer, by going on dates with them? Put all them miles on your pussy if you want to, love. Just make sure you make them niggas strap up because these Miami niggas out here nasty,” I casually said.

I think the last part of my sentence fucked her up the most because all it took was a second, and her ass jumped on me. I already knew it was coming, so when she jumped, and she started swinging, I was prepared for her. I caught onto her by her waist midair, and she started swinging her hands, trying to knock me in my mouth, but I dodged that shit, not letting her do it. Yaya was little, but her ass was strong. I was out here, tussling with her stupid ass, and the only reason why it was harder for methan what it should have been is because I wasn’t trying to put hands on her. I was trying to restrain her.

I was able to carry her, and I took her to the front of the car, and I slammed her ass down on her back on the hood, got a hold of her hands, holding them together, and I put her hands over her head. She was kicking, yelling for me to get off her, but I wouldn’t.

“Shut the fuck up before the boys come out here! What the fuck is wrong with you? Huh? What the fuck you got going on, bruh?” I roared, leaning my head in, putting it right in front of her. She had me hot. I didn’t even put my hands on women, but I swear to God I wanted to pop her ass in her mouth. She popped me in mine, and I could taste the blood inside my mouth. Her eyes were watering, and I know for a fact that if I let her go, she was going to swing, and that’s why I was trying to keep her confined like this.

“I hate you. I swear to God, I hate you,” her voice cracked as she said it.

“We even then because I hate your ass too!” I spat, knowing fuckin well that I didn’t hate her. I only said it to match energy. A bitch tell me she hate me; it was only right that I said the same shit back to her.

Yaya would get mad at me, and tell me that she hated me, but I would never stoop to her level in return, and tell her that I hated her too. Because I wouldn’t do that, I could see it in her eyes that she was shocked behind my words. She nodded her head after I said that, and right after, a tear fell.

“You probably mean that too,” she responded, and more tears fell. She took her eyes off me for a second, and she looked down at the ground. I knew she was about to say something. I could tell that she was thinking about something, so I kept quiet, going to give her a few seconds to get it out.

“I’ve told you that I hated you before, but I would always say it out of anger. You know that I never meant that. One thing about it though, you never stooped to my level and said it back. Don’t you dare tell me that you only said it because I said it first. You mean it, Sevyn. You fuckin mean that shit. I know you do!” she started full out crying, catching me off guard.

“You do, and you say stupid ass shit, but I don’t hate you, Ya. What fuckin reason I got to hate you? I want to slap the shit out of you right now because I can taste blood in my mouth from you hitting me, but I don’t hate you,” my voice was a little soft because I was trying to get her to open up and tell me the real reason why she felt like I hated her.

“It was my idea for Sarai to sleep in her bassinet that night. The night she passed, I remember she fell asleep on your chest, and you tried to put her in the middle of us, but I was the one that told you to put her in her bassinet. I felt like we were overly spoiling her. The day before, we had just went for her checkup with her pediatrician, and she got on the both of us about co- sleeping. I was just trying to follow what the doctor said for us to do. I made you put her in the bassinet. What if I never made you do that? What if I kept quiet, and just allowed you to let her sleep in between us, like we always did? Maybe she would still be here. You hate me for that, Sevyn. I know you do,” this was her first time saying this shit out loud to me. I never even knew that she felt this way. No lie, that shit fucked me up to my core that she even thought that. I felt a burn in my throat, and my eyes got misty, but I wasn’t going to shed tears in front of her.

I ended up removing my hands from restraining her arms behind her head, and I backed up a little bit. After I backed up, she immediately sat up on the car, and she used her hands to wipe the tears that were lingering there. I looked at the front door, and then back at her.

“You really believe that shit?” I asked, looking her in her eyes, but she wasn’t looking me in mine. Her head was dropped down, and she was looking at her fingers.

“Look at me, Ya. You really convinced yourself to believe that shit? Sarari died because of SIDS. Whether she would have been in the middle of us, sleeping in her nursey in her room, or in the bassinet, shit probably would have happened the same way. I never once blamed you for that shit, yo. Never had secret animosity towards you, or any of those things. If anything, I blamed God! He’s supposed to be this man that’s supposed to be there for us, and if that’s the case, why the fuck would He take our baby away from us like that? What happened to Sarai was unfortunate, and I gotta live with that shit every day that she’s no longer here, but you’re not the blame for that, and I don’t fuckin hate your ass! I would hope that you wouldn’t hate me either, and you just saying stupid shit out of your mouth like all the times before!” I shot. She’d calmed down by this point, but a few tears were still falling.

“Go in the house, bruh,” was all I had left for her ass. I was ready to dip out, and head back to the crib. Just that fast, she’d managed to stress the fuck out of me.

She heard me loud and clear when I told her ass to go in the house, but she didn’t move. She just sat there. It took her about five minutes to eventually scoot herself down from the truck, and before she walked away, she looked me in my eyes. I could tell that it was something that she really wanted to say to me, however, she didn’t say it. She just took her ass in the house. I kept my eyes on her, following her the entire time that she walked the massive driveway, and she took the two steps up that led to the front door, and she went inside.

I shook my head, running a hand down my face, and I proceeded to head to the driver’s side, so that I could get inside, and speed off. When I made it to the crib, the first thing that Iplanned on doing was unpacking my bag, taking a shower, and then I was going to go to the mini bar that I had at my condo, and take a few shots to the head. I let Yaya stress the fuck out of me tonight. Then, she brought up our daughter, and that really fucked me up.

Chapter Ten

CREED CRAWFORD

Two months later

“Good job on your victory Creed. We’re all so proud of you,” Vivian, one of the cheerleaders at my school said to me. We were all at the skating rink, celebrating.

It was Friday night, and me, along with damn near everyone on the baseball team, and others from my school had come out, so that we could celebrate our victory tonight. We’d won the state championships. That was big for our school because our school baseball team hadn’t won the state championships in years.

Everyone was happy for us. People that I’d never even spoken to were walking up to me all night, congratulating me, and giving me other kind words. Shit, even Vivian’s ass, and I’ve known this damn girl for years. We’ve been in the same private school for years, but she’s never approached me. Me, and my brother were smart, so I took a lot of honors classes, and Vivian did as well, so over the years, me, and her have been in some of the same classes. Her pops was a prosecutor. Just growing up with her, and going to the same school, I’ve seen him at school events, so I just remember my pops pointing him out, telling me who he was, and letting me know that he didn’t like him. He felt like he was a racist son of a bitch. Him, and my pops have been inthe same courtroom before, working on cases together, and each time that he went against my pops, he would get his ass handed to him in court. Because of that, I truly believed that that was the reason why Vivian never talked to me all these years. I thought her dad might have got in her ear about me, telling her that I was a Crawford boy, and for her to leave me alone, but judging that she walked up on me, all smiles, praising me for my victory, he probably didn’t tell her that after all. Well, maybe he did, and she was just choosing to be rebellious, and not listen to him, which was what most teenagers would do in the first place.

“I appreciate that,” my response was dry, not about to jump up and down, all excited because a white girl had decided that she finally saw me, and she wanted to congratulate me.

White girls weren’t even my type, to be honest. I loved black girls. I loved that ghetto shit. Even though I was only fifteen years old, those ghetto girls were my weakness. I went to a predominately white school, so the kind of girls that I liked, they didn’t attend the same school as me. I would meet those kinds of girls whenever I would hang out with my best friend, Quay. Quay was from Miami gardens, and he attended public school out that way. I knew Quay because we went to the same church growing up. I’ve slept over that nigga house when we were younger, and he’s slept over mine. I was cool with his mama. She treated me, and Legend like we were her boys. Same with my parents. Whenever Quay stays the night over, you couldn’t tell my parents that Quay wasn’t there son.

I loved Quay like he was my second brother. He’d come out to the game tonight to support me, and he was right here, standing next to me, and I could hear him giggling on the side of me, as Vivian was still standing here. I was thinking that after I’d thanked her for telling me congratulations, that she would have walked away, but she didn’t. She stood there, and about three of her friends were standing behind her.

Even though white girls weren’t my type, I would give credit where credit was due and say that Vivian was truly a beautiful girl. She was tall, and slim. With her height, and her shape, I knew that she could easily be a top model. Her hair was an ash blonde color, and her eyes were baby blue, looking like the color of the ocean. She came from money, just like I did, and you could see the money on her from the clothes that she was wearing, the purse on her shoulder, and the pricey watch that was on her wrist.

There was a whiteChanelpurse on her shoulder, and I knew that purse was costly because my mama was theChanelqueen. There wasn’t aChanelpurse that she didn’t have. My pops had got Legend and I Rolex watches, and Vivian had one too, but the one she had on was iced out. She was looking at me like she wanted to eat me alive, and all I could hear was my mama in my ear, telling me that I needed to leave white bitches alone, but I stood here, finding myself struggling with that.

“You want to take my number down?” she asked, shocking me with her words. Even with me being attracted to her and feeling like I was getting ready to fall for this shit, I had to ask her some questions first.

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