Page 39 of This is Law

Law didn’t come over until about ten minutes later, and when he did, he was holding the key sleeve in his hands, that held the keys to the room. He handed it to me, so that he could wheel both of our suitcases. I led the way, taking us over to the elevators. Once we were in front of them, I pressed the button, and the doors opened in a few seconds. I walked on first, and he came in after me, going on the opposite side. He pressed the number 20, so that it could take us up to the 20thfloor, and while it was going up, I was stealing glances at him.

He was dressed comfortably in a beige colored knit sweater. The sweater was thick, and it looked so comfortable. The bottoms that he chose to wear were brown, almost gave off a vintage look to them, and they were tailored to fit his tall, muscular body. A pair of brown, and crèmeTravis Scottsneakers were on his feet, that really helped to compliment the outfit. He had a fresh line up, his curls looked so healthy, and his beard was nice and full. Because we were captured on the elevator together, I couldn’t ignore how good he smelled.

His hand reached up, where he dragged it down his face, and you could see his tatted-up hands, and the single Cuban link bracelet that was on his wrist. The doors to the elevator opened, so that’s what stopped me from discreetly looking at him.

I walked out first, and I led the way to our room. I used the key card to scan, and even with him being pissed, and probably even annoyed with me, he moved my ass out of the way, so that he could open the door. He pushed it in, caught it with his hand, and allowed me to walk in first. Just like the woman up front toldus, it was just a standard room, that held two queen beds inside. We did have a beautiful view of the city though. The room was nice, and clean too.

I chose to go for the bed that was furthest from the door. Once Law saw that that was the bed that I was going to take, he wheeled my suitcase over to me. I sat my purse down on the table, and I got on the floor, sitting, so that I could open my suitcase, and pull my things out for my shower.

“You taking your shower first, or you want me to go?” he asked, standing over me.

“You can go. I have to pull all my stuff out,” I let him know. He just nodded, and then he walked away.

He went for his bag too, pulling out what he needed for his shower, and then he disappeared. Five minutes later, I heard the shower cut on. That’s when I went for the room phone, and I called room service. I saw that they had a chicken sandwich, so I ordered that with some fries. There was a lengthy wine list, and even though I could use the entire bottle right now, I wasn’t going to do that because the last time I drank a whole bottle of wine while I was with Law, I ended up fuckin him, so I just asked for a glass.

Once I put my order in, I went back over to my suitcase, pulling out what I was going to need, along with getting my dress, and stuff out for the funeral tomorrow. I pulled out my make-up bag, accessories, and heels, putting these items in the closet for me to put on tomorrow.

By this time, Law was finished with his shower, but I could hear the sink running, so I knew that he had to have been washing his face and brushing his teeth. When he eventually came out, he had the nerve to just walk out in briefs, where you could literally see that big ass dick resting on his thigh, and he wore socks. His big broad shoulders were exposed, along with his hard abs, and firm chest. I knew that Law didn’t like to getdressed in a bathroom, so I couldn’t even say that he was doing this on purpose, but for once, I just wished that he would have not did the norm and would have just slipped on his sweats in the bathroom.

I cleared my throat, and I looked down at my suitcase in front of me. His sweats were on the bed, and he stepped into them. When he turned his back to me, I could see the full mural of our daughter that was tattooed on his back. It was such a beautiful piece of art. I hated that I was looking at him in this way, but it was hard not to.

The sound of someone knocking on the door got both of our attention. I was the one to move, going over to the door, knowing that it was most likely my food.

“You got up like you expecting somebody,” he said to me.

“I ordered room service,” I said, and when I reached the door, I pulled it back. There was the room service attendant standing on the other side, and he had a cart in front of him, that held my food, that was covered by a silver lid, along with my glass of wine. He offered me a smile, wanting to know how I was doing tonight, and after I assured him that I was fine, he wheeled the items in for me. I was holding cash in my hands, so I passed it to him, giving him a tip, and he thanked me for it, and then walked out of the room.

The whole time that this exchange was taking place, Law was standing there, watching. I pretended that I didn’t even see him, as I wheeled the cart over to the table, where there was a chair, and that’s where I was going to eat my food, right after I washed my hands.

I walked out of the room, and into the bathroom, using the soap that was here, and I quickly washed my hands, and then dried them off on the nearby hand towel.

“You still selfish as fuck, Soraya. You selfish, and you weird. I would have never ordered food in front of you, without offeringyou anything. Together or not, I’m not doing shit like that. If you had been the one to take your shower first, and I ordered food without you, and you had walked in this bitch to see a nigga wheeling my food in here, you would have told me that I was the dirtiest, and grimiest nigga in the world for doing that shit,” Law spat to me the second I made it back out, and I took a seat down on the chair.

“I’m still selfish? When the fuck was I ever selfish towards you? Name on instance,” I shot, turning around in my chair, so that I could look at him. He was still standing, and he was looking down at me. He sucked his teeth at what I’d said, followed by him shaking his head.

“Shit, I can spit out at least one hundred instances,” he was exaggerating terribly.

“Okay, so give me one then. I would like to hear it,” I was on him hard with this because I felt like I was a lot of things in our marriage, but I was never selfish. I used to love this man with every bone in my fuckin body. Law could have asked me to hand him over my fuckin life, and I would have done it, without any kind of hesitation. I’ve loved him since I was a kid. I was never selfish.

He stared at me, looking at me in a way, as if he was thinking. As if there were so many examples that he was thinking about of me being selfish, that he couldn’t think of which one he wanted to use.

“When Sarai died, you never took my feelings towards that into consideration. Only yours. That example alone tops every selfish thing that your ass ever did,” his words stung. Like, it hurt me to hear him say this to me because I never knew that he felt this way. The second he said it, my heart shattered, my eyes got watery, and when I blinked, tears immediately started falling.

“My baby died Law. She died-

“That was my baby too, Ya. Not just yours! I tattooed my little girl on my fuckin back. That was my child too. I was there at the hospital just like you when we heard her heartbeat for the first time. I was there for your ultrasound, seeing her little body on the screen. I couldn’t wait to meet her just like you couldn’t. I begged you for our daughter because I knew that after the twins, you were set on not having any more children. Sarai completed me, Boobie. I had the most beautiful wife in the world, the most handsome sons, and after I had my little girl, I was set. You gotta think about where a nigga coming from with this shit. I been taking losses since I was a little boy. They killed my pops on my third birthday. I was too young to remember him, so the only memories I have are pictures, and stories that people tell me. They took me away from my mama when I was just six years old because she lost her fuckin mind and tried to kill me. As if I didn’t already go through enough fucked up shit, then I go to live with my grandma, and she dies when I’m eight. I lose my fuckin daughter when she was only four months. I been taking losses since a kid, Ya. If anybody knows that, you do. I used to pillow talk the fuck outta you. You knew my hurt. You knew the shit that made me feel vulnerable. My whole world collapsed when I woke up in the middle of the night to see Sarai in her bassinet and she wasn’t breathing. As if that shit wasn’t painful enough, I had to wake my wife up, just to tell you that she wasn’t breathing. I needed some fuckin body to be there for me too, Ya. That’s why I said your ass is selfish! You left a nigga too. You was my wife, Soraya. You was supposed to stand in the motha fuckin paint right along with me, as we went through that loss together” his voice was shaking as he was speaking to me, but he didn’t cry.

I cried the whole time that he expressed these things to me because I never knew that he felt this way. By the time he finished, I was a wreck.

I stood up from the chair, and I tried to rush into the bathroom, but he grabbed my arm, not letting me.

“Sevyn, no. Stop,” I couldn’t even look at him because I was crying so bad. I was having a full breakdown, fighting to get away from him, and he eventually let me go. I went into the bathroom, keeping the light off, and I found the tub, sitting in front of it, putting my back up against it, where I pulled my knees to my chest, and I broke down. I never knew Sevyn felt like that, and it hurt me to know that he thought of me like that.

He walked into the bathroom like five minutes later, and I was still screaming, and crying. This shit felt like deja- vu of the breakdowns that I would have after losing Sarai.

Sevyn cut the light on, and he walked over to me.

“Sevyn… I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how… I blamed myself. I made you put her in the bassinet. I didn’t know how to be there for you…. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to be,” I was a wreck, as I looked up at him, tears falling from my eyes. He got down on the floor with me, sitting next to me, and he pulled me, but I pulled away.

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