Page 119 of Eternally Yours
“It’s okay, really. I wanted to help and offered. Ever since I moved here, you’ve done everything to make me feel a part of your circle. It was my way of paying you back for that.” She smiles and blushes.This girl can’t hide her emotions even if she tried. It’s adorable.
“Well, now you all make me seem like a bad friend for not being more involved,” Emma declares from her spot beside Brey, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting.
I shake my head at her attitude and smile. “Stop, you’ve been helping, too. Yeah, maybe you weren’t here as often. But you also took on all my extra projects at work, and that isn’t something small.”
She thinks it over, then unfolds her arms and plays with the ends of her hair. “That’s right, I did do a lot. Come to think of it, I would say I did much more than all of you.”
We all laugh at her comment, knowing full well she’s only half joking. When I look around and see my friends laughing and smiling, even Clay is shaking his head with a smirk, it makes me realize how much I missed this.
“Anyway, tell me what’s been going on with you guys this past month. I’ve had enough focus on me, I feel like I’ve missed out on stuff,” I say, looking at all their faces.
“Well, the new owners moved into the condo yesterday, and I’m finally seeing an end to unpacking. Although Tommy is losing his mind over the amount of clothes that I have and is talking about turning one of the guest rooms into a closet just for me,” Emma offers as news.
“Wait? You sold the condo and moved in with Tommy?” I watch her in disbelief. Emma frowns and looks at Morgan and Aubrey, then turns back to me.
“Umm, yeah. We moved in together after the holidays, and I had a buyer for the condo the next day... I told you this three weeks ago,” she says with caution, like I’m a wounded animal.
Wow... I guess I really was out of it. That makes me feel even more like a horrible friend.
I look down at my hands in my lap. “I’m sorry I’ve really been a shitty friend to all of you,” I tell them in a quiet voice.
Silas walks in the front door before anyone has time to answer. He removes his boots and coat, then tugs off Milo’s leash and wipes his paws with a towel we leave by the door. He then walks over to the back of the couch and passes his hand through my hair. “Hey.”
I gaze up at him with a small smile, still feeling bad for what I put people through as I was trying to make my way through the fog. “Hi.”
Instantly, his brows furrow, and he studies my face. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, everything is fine. I promise.” I try to sound genuine.
I can tell he doesn’t believe me, but he doesn’t push, either. Instead, he simply nods and tells me he’s going to take a shower and to find him if I need him.
“Okay, enough with the pity party. I want to know everything that happened while my mind was AWOL.”
~ One Month Later / March~
Things have been getting better and better between me and Silas, I feel like we’re finally back to normal. Minus the sex, of course, but I think that may be coming around, too.
Every time Silas passes his hand along my back or cuddles me during the night in his sleep, I get these tingles everywhere. I’ve also found myself staring at his lips or watching him undress a lot lately.
Silas came home this afternoon from another away stretch, and I’m happy to have him back, I missed him during the week he was gone. I was also really anxious, which is something I hate admitting.
Every time he goes away, my mind goes back to that day, and I find myself staring at my phone all night, waiting for something to show up. I know it’s not healthy, but I can’t help it.
The girls all tell me it’s normal to have some trust issues still, and Silas has been doing everything possible to ease that worry. Like calling and texting me every chance he gets or heading to his room the minute he can leave the arena and FaceTiming me to show me.
It’s a strange feeling, part of me is relieved and glad to see him making such an effort. But another part of me feels as if I’m holding him on a tight leash and stopping him from living. I need to get over this fear because this isn’t helping any of us. I want to trust my husband again, the way I trusted him before.
Tonight, Silas decided we would try something new for dinner, homemade pizzas from scratch. We made the dough earlier and it seems to be good, but kneading it and stretching it out are clearly not my strong suit.
I’ve made at least three holes in my dough that I’ve tried to cover up, and instead of it being round, it looks more like a star. I’m irritated that I can’t get the hang of something so simple, but Silas seems to find it quite comical. His pizza, on the other hand, looks like it was made by a five-star chef.How is this guy perfect at everything?
After Silas fixes my pizza and we’ve put on our toppings, he throws them in the oven and grabs a bottle of wine. He uncorks it and fills me a glass, then pours himself a glass of water.
“You’re not having one with me?” I ask, eyeing his glass of water that he sips from.
He simply shakes his head and looks away in shame.Oh, baby...
“You haven’t touched anything since that night.” It’s meant to be a question but comes out as a statement.I know he hasn’t.
