Page 149 of Eternally Yours
Finally, I bite the bullet and look down.
Pregnant.
I clean up everything and make sure to take the box back with me. I don’t need someone finding it in the trash before I even tell Silas. On shaky legs, I make my way back to the girls.
Aubrey gets up immediately and takes the empty box from my hand, then goes to the garage to throw it out in one of the big bins. She comes back seconds later as I’m dropping down into my stool.
“How are we feeling about a non-alcoholic party?” I receive a series of disapproving groans at my bad joke. “What am I going to do? I don’t even have a job!” I bring my hands up to hide my face.
I feel like crying. I wanted this. I wanted a baby before everything went to hell. But now, I’m terrified.
“Babe. You legit have a husband who makes millions a year. You don’t need to work,” Emma says, like my concerns are insignificant, which irritates me.
She doesn’t get it.I know it’s not her fault. Em comes from money, so she doesn’t know what it’s like to be fully independent and falling back only on yourself.
I pull my hands away from my face and look at her. “I know that, but I didn’t marry Sy for his money. And I hate feeling like I’m taking advantage or that I’m dependent on him. I’ve hardly even touched our joint account since I quit my job. I’ve been living off my savings because it didn’t feel right using his money when I should be working for my own.”
“It’s how I feel about Grey’s money, too. It’s not exactly the same situation since we’re siblings and not married. But I hate feeling dependent on him, even though I know he wouldn’t care,” Aubrey adds, trying to make Emma see my point.
“Let’s not focus on that right now. How are you feeling about this situation?” Morgan asks from her seat that she’s now returned to.
“I don’t know... I want to be happy, but at the same time I’m terrified. What if it’s too soon? We’re finally happy again, and everything is going amazingly well. What if this screws it up?” I wring my hands in front of me, looking down at the counter as tears rise to the surface.
“Don’t think that way, sweetie. Silas is so in love with you it’s almost nauseating. The number of times I’ve heard him make baby comments since he met you is ridiculous. He’ll be over the moon, and nothing can change this chemistry between you two.” Morg smiles warmly and reaches over to squeeze my hand. “I think this is your fresh start, your reward after surviving hell. You both deserve this so much. So allow yourself to be excited about it. Everything will work out the way it’s proven time and time again.”
I nod, trying to believe her words.This is our gift for everything we’ve been through. It’s our little miracle.
“When are you going to tell Silas?” Brey asks.
“I think I’ll wait until after the party when we’re alone.”I just hope I’m able to act normally until then.
“That’s probably wise. The man is so crazy about you, he’ll probably start telling everyone the minute he finds out just so people can know he knocked you up,” Em says, giving me a look that says, ‘You know I’m right.’
“Oh, I don’t doubt that for a sec.” I giggle, and everyone joins in. “Okay, not that I’m trying to change the subject, but we should really get moving on this party planning. We’re losing precious time.”
And with that, we all get into action. Except for the girls giving me the most basic and easy jobs now that they know I’m carrying a load.
I swear, it’s like I instantly became disabled. If they’re acting like this, I don’t evenwant to imagine what Silas will be like once he finds out.
The rest of the day goes by smoothly as all the remaining guests arrive between two and three. The first time I saw the team again was a bit awkward with the way we had left things. But I apologized for my outburst at Clay’s house, and they all told me they deserved it. I think we’re all on good footing now. The only one I haven’t had a chance to talk to is Greyson.
He’s been pretty much MIA. I know Silas and Clay have seen him when they train together, but he’s been doing a good job of avoiding me. I have a feeling Grey is a bit like Em when it comes to emotions.
They don’t necessarily like showing them, but they feel deeply. I think that even though everything has been cleared up with the situation between Silas and me, he still feels some guilt about it all. But he promised Silas he’d be here today, so I’ve been hunting him down.
I spot him on one of the benches we’ve set up in the backyard and walk over, plopping down next to him. “You can’t avoid me forever,” I tell him with a smile.
He takes a sip of his beer and side eyes me but stays facing forward. “I’m not avoiding you.” I give him a look that says, ‘I call bullshit,’ and he chuckles. “Okay, maybe a little.”
“You have no reason to avoid me, Grey. Look, I’m sorry for the way I talked to you at Clay’s. And I’m sorry for ignoring you when you tried repeatedly to reach out. It wasn’t fair to you, and I regret blaming you for what happened because it wasn’t your fault.”
“Still, I brought him out that night. If I hadn’t, none of that would have happened.” He looks down, clear guilt eating him up.
“You can’t think that way, because then I have to feel that, too. I encouraged him to go out with you guys when he said he wanted to stay in his room. Yes, we all played a part, but none of us are truly guilty. Not even Silas. If I can forgive and move on, then so can you.” I bump my shoulder into his.
“I don’t want us to have this strained friendship. Our relationship was already rocky at the start with our history, but we managed to pull through, and I know we can do the same now. I miss having you around with the gang.” I place my hand on his back as he looks up, reading my expression that tells him I mean every word.
“I guess you’re right. I’m still sorry, though.”
