Page 61 of The Kissing Booth
‘Come on, Shelly, I know when you’re lying to me.’ He sighed. ‘I should’ve known you’d be like this.’
‘Like what?’ I questioned, immediately defensive.
‘Like this,’ he said, gesturing at me like it explained everything. ‘You’re acting all weird with me now – like you regret it. Because youdoregret it: I can see in your face.’ He closed his eyes for a moment. He looked almost... upset.
‘I don’t... It’s not that I regret it so much as... I’m just scared. In case Lee finds out. He’ll hate me. I mean it was – amazing, but—’ I broke off and bit the inside of my cheek as I blushed. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘What? God, no, don’t apologize,’ he said quietly, sweeping my hair all over my right shoulder. ‘I feel like I should be the one to say sorry. Look, I told you, I wasn’t in this for sex, and I’m still not, if you decide you don’t want to. Okay? I just don’t want to give this up. Whatever “this” is.’ He kissed my temple. He looked so – so torn up about it. ‘You know I hate all that emotional crap. Please don’t put me through all that torture.’
I definitely didn’t regret last night. And as long as Lee didn’t know, it couldn’t hurt him. So I just had to make sure he didn’t find out.
It would’ve been smart to end things before I got in too deep to dig myself out. It would’ve been smart to back out before I did something stupid – like fall for him. Because I wasn’t falling for him. Of course not. No way. And I wouldn’t.
I nodded once, as though I was reassuring myself of that fact.
I would just have to be careful not to fall for him. And, stupid as it was, I wasn’t going to end this relationship. I didn’t want to.
Then I leaned forward to give Noah a soft kiss on the lips; where his hand touched the back of my neck, my skin felt tingly.
‘I really should get going,’ I said to him. Not so much because I wanted to get out of there, but because I didn’t want Lee to suspect anything when he got home, and because my dad would wonder where I was.
But this time Noah didn’t argue. He just nodded and kissed me again. ‘Okay.’
And this time, I actually did leave.
I found out that Lee hadn’t actually gone home with Rachel like I’d first assumed; he’d actually just crashed on Warren’s sofa because he was too tipsy to drive himself home. I only spoke to him on the phone though, afraid he’d see something was different about me. I knew I didn’tlookany different after last night, but I was worried that he would notice anything shifty about my behavior.
‘Is everything okay?’ I jumped. We were on the phone, but I still tried not to look too flustered. ‘I mean, I know there was that thing with Patrick, then Noah dragging you off after, but... you sure you’re okay about it?’
‘Yeah,’ I said. At least I could answer that honestly. ‘Yeah, I’m fine, Lee, seriously. It was no big deal, really.’
I wasn’t looking forward to school though. All the questions people would ask about me leaving early... They’d probably wonder about me and Patrick, and me and Noah... I could come up with an innocent answer easily enough, but I hated having to lie. I was dreading it all.
That’s not why I was wide awake at three in the morning though, staring at my ceiling and willing sleep to find me. No – I was awake because I couldn’t stop thinking about Noah.
I wanted to confide in Lee, but I couldn’t. Not just because he’d hate me for lying to him and it’d kill him to find out, but also because it would be downrightweirdto tell him I’d slept with his brother.
Times like this, I wished my mom was still around. But wishing wasn’t going to bring her back, so I just rolled over onto my side and stared blankly ahead.
I missed having Mom around. But she died in a car accident when I was much younger, and when Brad was around three. I grew up through all those important stages – like getting my first period and buying my first bra – without having her around. It’s just times like this... Well, I was hardly going to confide in my dad, was I? And Lee was out of the equation completely.
So I’d have to keep it to myself and hope nobody found out.
I sighed and ran my hands over my face. My eyes were drooping but I couldn’t fall asleep. My mind was too restless.
Stupid Noah. Everything was his fault, I thought, but a drowsy smile played on my lips.
Everything.
Chapter 14
ON MONDAY MORNING, not even Lee noticed anything different about me – thankfully. But that was probably because he was too enraptured in his loved-up world. I couldn’t have been more grateful to have him talking non-stop about how funny, how pretty, how cute, how smart, and how sweet Rachel was.
Up until we got to school, everything was all hunky-dory.
‘Why did you leave Warren’s early?’ Jaime asked me, first thing.
‘Oh, well, um...’
