Page 90 of The Kissing Booth
Chapter 20
I COULDN’T GETto sleep, no matter how hard I tried; it was impossible to relax when I was worrying so much. I was worried about Noah, of course, but most of all I worried about Lee. Noah could take care of himself – he’d be alright. But Lee? He couldn’t just stick a Band-Aid on this and be all okay.
It got to midnight before my willpower ran out and I couldn’t stand it any longer. I grabbed my cell phone and speed-dialed number two.
It rang. And rang, and rang, and rang. And, when it was on the verge of going to voicemail, he picked up.
‘Shelly?’
I let out a huge gush of air; I hadn’t known I was holding my breath. ‘Lee.’
Seconds of silence passed between us, the sound of each other’s breathing the only reassurance that we were still both there. I broke first.
‘How are you?’
‘Honestly? I don’t know.’
I nodded, even though he couldn’t see. ‘I’m so sorry, Lee. I never meant for this all to happen. Not like this.’
He sighed. ‘Yeah, but you still let it happen.’
‘I know, I know. I screwed up.’
‘That’s the understatement of the century,’ he snorted, but I heard the chuckle in his voice he tried so hard to disguise as a cough. I let out a breath of laughter too.
‘I know. I’m sorry. I just... It seemed like the best option, not telling you. I knew it’d kill you to think I was going behind your back to hook up with your brother – it was so stupid of me... I kept meaning to end it, and I hated lying to you, but I didn’t end it, and I let it all carry on, and...’ I trailed off helplessly. ‘I thought I was doing the right thing by not telling you: it might not have worked out, and I didn’t want you to get caught up in any of it. I thought I was... protecting you.’
He didn’t say anything for a long while. I knew he was still there; he was breathing down the phone.
‘I’m sorry, Lee. I’m so sorry.’
It didn’t surprise me to find that my eyes were brimming with tears. I sniffed, trying not to cry. Lee would know if I was crying, even without being able to see me.
‘Do you hate me?’ I had to ask him. I couldn’t bear not knowing, especially when he wasn’t responding to me. ‘Lee?’
‘I don’t... hate you,’ he replied hesitantly. ‘But I sure as hell don’t like you an awful lot at this moment. I can’t believe you kept that from me all this time! And Noah too, when I thought you guys couldn’t go five seconds in the same room without arguing.’
Now I was silent. I was too afraid of making things worse.
I stifled a yawn.
‘Get some sleep, Elle,’ Lee sighed, his voice gentle, caring. ‘I’ll see you in the morning.’
‘You mean you’re still taking me to school?’
‘Of course I am. When have I ever not?’
That was when I did start crying – but these were tears of relief. I wiped the back of my hand across my cheeks. I didn’t want Lee to hear and think I was being pathetic.
‘I’ll see you in the morning,’ he repeated. ‘’Night, Elle.’
‘’Night,’ I replied. But just before he could hang up, I blurted, ‘Lee?’
‘Yeah?’
‘You know I love you, right?’
I heard the smile in his voice when he said, ‘Yeah, I know. I love you too. Although that doesn’t mean I have to like you all the time.’
