Page 95 of The Kissing Booth
‘I don’t know what the hell it is about you, Elle, but I can’t... I don’t...’
‘What?’
‘You drive me insane,’ was all he said then, his voice quiet, soft – intimate. ‘Absolutely insane. I need you back.’
My racing heart stopped, and then flip-flopped wildly. What was he saying? It wasn’t anything else. It wasn’t like he was in l—
Lee had just forgiven me. Maybe not moved on, but forgiven me, at least.
And now Noah just wanted to... to carry on where we’d left off? Was he crazy to think I could just do that?
After coming so close to losing my best friend, I wanted to finish this year in peace. Was that too much to ask? Besides, Noah was leaving soon for college.
I couldn’t get back with him. Icouldn’t. It wouldn’t be right.
So... why was it so hard to convince myself that it was wrong?
‘Elle,’ he said, stroking my hair back off my face. ‘Shelly...’
I shook my head, putting my foot down. ‘No. It’s not happening. I can’t...’
‘Elle,’ he said, those electric-blue eyes darkening as he backed me up a step. ‘You’re killing me here.’
‘Are you drunk?’
‘No. I’m completely sober, and this is all true. Ineedyou back.’
I shook my head again, retreating until I felt the wall at my back. Noah stepped forward, hands on either side of my head, his body pinning me there. His breath tickled my face.
‘Elle,’ he said again. I looked into his eyes. I knew he was telling the truth, but I didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to be able to put my foot down, close the door, lock this all away. I didn’t want to go back to the firework feeling of his touch and his kisses because I knew I’d never want to leave him. If I didn’t do this now, I never would – at least not until it was too late.
And I managed one word: ‘No.’
His palm slammed into the display board behind me, making the wall rattle and a loosely tacked poster fall down.
I shook my head, closing my eyes as if not looking at him would help steady me. It didn’t. ‘No.’
His hands dropped onto my shoulders then, and when I opened my eyes, his were pleading with me.
‘Get off me,’ I said, trying to push him off. I prayed he wouldn’t kiss me now – because I knew I’d end up kissing him back.
‘I can do it right this time,’ he said. ‘No sneaking around.’
‘I’m not dating you,’ I said feebly.
He sighed, leaning his head forward so it rested against mine. I stiffened. I wasn’t scared of him, though. I was scared of myself.
He almost had his arms around me. All I wanted to do right now was let him hold me, kiss me.
I couldn’t. I couldn’t go back to that. I’d never get back out. I couldn’t do that to Lee.
‘Noah, please, just... don’t.’
‘I can’t help it,’ he said tightly, the muscle in his jaw jumping when he pulled back to look at me. ‘I tried, believe me. What is it about you? You’re driving me crazy here, you’re killing me. I need you back.’
‘I saidno.’ I shoved him hard in the chest, and slipped out under his arm to the other side of the classroom. ‘Noah, I can’t do it. I’m sorry, but I can’t.’
‘Why?’
