Page 101 of Going the Distance
Lee’s mouth twisted in sympathy. “So what happened then?”
“Noah saw. I didn’t know he was there until I saw him leaving. I don’t think he overheard anything but he definitely saw us kissing.”
“Damn,” Lee said, and let out a long, low whistle. “You guys really need to talk and sort your shit out.”
I grunted, unimpressed with the suggestion—especially since he was probably right—and we moved on to talk about something else instead. Although every five minutes was punctuated with Lee saying, “I can’t believe you made out with Levi” or “Wait till the guys hear.Levi.”
“If you tell anybody, I swear to God I’m going to tell Rachel something you don’t want her to know.”
“I tell Rachel everything.”
“Oh yeah? Does she know that you cried harder than me when we watchedMarley and Me? Or what about the time I got my first bra and you wore it for a day to see what it was like?”
The laughter disappeared from Lee’s face and he raised a fry threateningly at me. “You dare…”
I raised my eyebrows, grinning at him triumphantly.
• • •
Lee came back to my house after the mall. He didn’t even suggest we go back to his, where I might bump into Noah. He’d tried to get me to talk about Noah again—what I was going to do and if I was going to talk to him—but I stayed mute on the subject.
The truth was, I still didn’t know myself.
I knew I was still in love with Noah; somehow that made it all so much worse. I was torn between wanting to get back together with him and wanting to never have to talk to him again until I was officially one hundred percent over him.
But what if I couldn’t get over him until we’d talked things through and he’d explained the whole thing with Amanda was just a horrible misunderstanding? What if seeing him alone was the best way to get over him?
And what if it just made things worse?
My head was spinning with what-ifs and I knew I could think about it for weeks and still not figure out the right thing to do.
Lee was only trying to be helpful—I knew that.
But he didn’tjusthave my best interests at heart; he was looking out for his brother, too. And he knew his brother wanted to talk to me.
I ignored the two missed calls I had from Noah and the text that said:If you don’t want to talk, I get it, but let me know?
“I think you should at least call him and say you don’t want to talk,” Lee said. “Or for God’s sake, at leasttextthe poor sap.”
I still didn’t know what I wanted to do when I was lying in bed, tossing and turning, later that night. I couldn’t sleep for thinking about it.
I’ll go see him early tomorrow, before he leaves.
I’ll text him in the morning to say I think it’s better if we don’t talk, and I hope he and Amanda had a nice time here.
I’ll ignore everything to do with him.
I’ll see him in the morning.
I’ll call him when he’s back at college.
I won’t speak to him.
I’ll—
There was a rattle at my window.
I sat up, twisting toward the sound, and stared at the closed drapes.
