Page 104 of Going the Distance
“Yes!” I exclaimed, and then I checked myself. I didn’t want to wake anybody up. I blinked a few more times but a tear spilled over. I took a second to try and steady my voice.
“Noah, I…Before we broke up, it felt like you were hardly talking to me. You kept avoiding talking to me about classes, and it felt like you were cutting me out of your life. Like I didn’t belong in it anymore. I get it now, but I didn’t know, and that scared me. I thought we were drifting apart and that you didn’t love me so much anymore, and…when you wouldn’t talk to me about that call, of course I thought you had something going on with Amanda. It was the only thing that made sense.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and I was shocked to see him crying. Actualtearshanging on his lower lashes. One of them splashed onto his cheek. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. About college, about Amanda. I knew there was nothing going on with you and Levi but I started convincing myself that there might’ve been after we broke up, and last night I…”
Noah trailed off when I stepped closer.
“You’resuchan idiot, Noah Flynn.”
He chuckled, and I brought my hand to his face, running my thumb across the tear track on his cheek.
“But you’re my idiot.”
I didn’t kiss him. I waited, every one of my nerves coiled and ready to spring.
And when he kissed me, I ignited.
His lips were tender and insistent against mine, his arms wrapping around me tight, his hair soft through my fingers.
I thought I’d remembered what it was like to kiss him, but those memories were pale imitations of the real thing. And I’d been right to think that kissing Noah was just so muchmorethan kissing Levi. I felt like I was burning up from the inside out, in the best way possible. My fingertips trailed over his face and back through his hair and down his arms, and I was sure I’d never felt more alive than I did while kissing him.
When we stopped, I clung to him, and he didn’t loosen his hold on me.
“I love you,” he whispered, the words rushing out as though he couldn’t say them fast enough, the look in his eyes so intense it was like the words didn’t mean enough. “I fucked up. I should’ve just talked to you. I know that. I messed everything up. I just got so scared of losing you that I made things worse.”
I managed a laugh. “That was why I broke up with you. Because I was scared that you’d find someone better and forget about me, and I couldn’t lose you like that.Igot scared and made things worse.”
Noah chuckled, the sound soft and breathy, tickling my nose. I closed my eyes, pressing my head into his shoulder and inhaling deeply. He still smelled the same. Still felt the same. He was still my Noah.
Dragging my head back up from his shoulder, I stepped back so that I could see him properly. “I’m still in love with you, too, Noah Flynn. Just, you know. In case you were wondering.”
“So…”
“So.”
He kissed me; this time, just a lingering peck on the lips. Even that made my heart do somersaults. “If you still don’t want to be together, I get it. I understand. It’s horrible being away from you and I miss you all the damn time. I don’t want to be with anyone except you. But if you find it too hard, then I get it. Just tell me.”
“I think…”
Oh, God. WhatdidI think? I missed Noah so much while he was at college, but…
But however hard I’d tried, I hadn’t been able to get over him, not even a little tiny bit.
I didn’t want to lose him, but maybe I’d done the right thing by breaking up with him, in case this didn’t work, in case we were just wasting our time…
Only, looking at Noah, I didn’t feel like I was wasting my time. Standing in his arms, I felt like I was right where I wanted to be. I grinned at him.
“I think we can make it work.”
