Page 30 of Going the Distance
“I didn’t mean to be such a dick. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to say sorry, Lee! I want you to tell me why. I want to know what’s going on.”
“Nothing’s going on. So what, I drank too much, and I was a little bitch to you. I don’t know what you want me to say, Elle. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. I get it if you’re mad at me.”
I pushed my knuckles into my forehead, then scraped my fingers back through my hair and sighed. “Jesus, Lee, I’m…” I stood up, shaking my head and feeling sick. I couldn’t stay here if he was going to brush me off like this. “Fine. You know what? Keep it up. Keep acting like this. You might lose us all that way. All the guys said you were acting weird last night. But I don’t have to stand here and take this bullshit from someone who’s supposed to be my best friend. If you’re not going to talk to me—”
Lee shot to his feet, knocking the chair over and blocking my way.
“They call me Little Flynn.”
“Huh?”
“The guys on the football team. They call me Little Flynn. And Coach keeps talking about Noah, how he was faster, or throws better, or whatever. They’re all expecting me to be like him. I’m the new Flynn, you know?”
“So what, that means you have to act like I don’t exist?”
“It means I’m trying to…be cool.”
I scoffed. “And acting like this? Being mean to all of us, telling me to shut up? This is being cool?”
He didn’t have anything to say to that. He just looked down at his feet.
“I thought you were already cool because you won the initiation thing.”
“They said Noah won when it was his initiation to the team, and he was still a sophomore at that point. They’re expecting me to be as good as Noah was.”
I sat back down, and Lee let out a rush of breath, eyebrows relaxing before carrying on. He picked up the chair, setting it back upright. He leaned against his desk, hands braced behind him. I’d heard a couple of the guys call Lee “Little Flynn,” but I’d never realized he felt likethisabout it. It made my temper flare on his behalf—but it also made me feel even more sad about this entire argument. He could’ve talked to me. Why hadn’t he?
“It just really gets to me, you know? The way they treat me. Like, even though I’ve impressed them, and I’m part of the team, I’m still not good enough. I like being part of the team, Elle, and I’m…”
“Noah never told me to shut up at a party.”
“See? He’s literally better than me at everything.”
“No, Lee, I’m not…You’re…” What the hell did I say to that?
“I get how stupid it sounds,” he told me, eyes wide and wet. “I get how pathetic and whiny I sound, okay? I know. If it helps, I haven’t even told Rachel about this. I wanted to handle it myself, you know? Just…figure it out.”
“You don’t need to be Noah, Lee. And it’s not pathetic. You’re amazing just like you are. Besides, you’re not even the same position as him on the field. Pitch? It’s a field, right?”
He smiled, meeting my eyes again. “Field.”
“Right, that. They can’t even compare you guys if you’re not playing the same position.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Plus, you’re not even that little. There are smaller guys than you on the team.”
“Yeah…”
“And I will one hundred percent quit defending you and giving you an ego boost if you tell me to shut up like that ever again.”
“If I ever do that to you again, feel free to throw a whole keg of beer over me.”
“Can I get that in writing?”
Lee laughed and moved across the room, stopping in front of me. “Are we good? Am I allowed to hug you now? I feel like things aren’t good until we hug it out.”
