Page 33 of Going the Distance
But when he finally opened his mouth, what he said was, “You know, there’s plenty of good schools in Boston.”
It knocked the breath out of my lungs for a second, and we stared through the phone at each other. I drew a breath through my nose—it sounded loud, sharp, uneven. Lee had made a throwaway comment about it yesterday, but hearingNoahsuggest it…
He really wanted me there with him?
I must’ve been quiet for too long because Noah shuffled, uncomfortable, his cheeks faintly pink. His eyes looked anywhere but at his phone and he ran a hand back and forth through his hair.
“Maybe I can look,” I said. “Or something.”
“So Lee’s looking at Brown,” he said. “That must’ve been weird for you. Is that why he’s been such an ass to you lately?”
I tried hard not to look as relieved as I felt that he’d changed the subject away from going to college in Boston with him. I was flattered he wanted me to be nearer to him, but…I couldn’t choose a school just because my boyfriend was there, could I? And what about Lee? And there was my dad and Brad to think about—Berkeley was close. That was always a factor. I couldn’t justleave them.
It just didn’t feel like the kind of conversation to have on a whim, over the phone.
“Actually…,” I said, and explained that Lee’s attitude had less to do with Rachel, like I’d thought, and more about him feeling he had to live up to Noah’s reputation. I watched Noah’s expression cloud over as I told him about it, torn between guilt and annoyance.
“Maybe I should talk to him. Tell him to cool it or something. I don’t know.”
“Seriously, don’t—he was pretty upset about it. He’ll probably just feel worse if you try and talk to him.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Damn straight I’m right. I’m always right.”
“Sure, Shelly. Always right.” He flashed me his trademark smirk, turning my insides to goo…and making me miss him.So. Damn. Much.I wanted to reach through the screen to grab his face and kiss him.
“I can’t believe you’re growing a beard,” I told him.
He tilted his head back, rubbing a hand over his jaw and giving me a better view of it. “You don’t like it?”
“It’s hot.”
“Right again, Shelly.” He winked, making me laugh. “Honestly, I broke my razor and haven’t gotten a new one yet.”
“Classes keeping you busy?”
“Something like that,” he said, expression stiffening.
I felt my stomach knot. What had I said? He’d stopped talking to me so much about his classes and stuff. Honestly, I was kind of worried about him. Healwaysseemed to change the topic when I asked about how he was doing in his classes or asked him about that essay he’d been working on lately. Sure, maybe he just didn’t have much to say, or thought I’d find it boring or wouldn’t really get it, but I couldtellhe was holding back.
But I asked, “So…how are you finding college? Are you handling everything?”
He gave a blasé half-smile, shrugging one shoulder. “Sure I am. I’m not top of the class or anything but I’m coping, you know?”
My voice was quiet when I responded. “No, not really. You don’t talk to me much about college.”
Apparently, it was my day for brutal honesty with the Flynn brothers.
“Sure I do—”
“Not really. You tell me about people, and stuff that’s going on socially, or about football, but you don’t ever talk to me about your classes.”
“I’m doing fine, Elle.” There was an edge to his voice. A muscle jumped in his jaw, which only solidified my impression that something was up.
“It’s okay if you’re finding it hard. You know, I was reading some articles on this lifestyle blog by a college sophomore about how a lot of students struggle to settle in at college, you know, with the workload and stuff, and—”
“Elle!” Noah didn’t exactlyshoutmy name, but he raised his voice. He didn’t seem mad, just…tired. He lowered the phone to his lap and I saw him rub a hand over his face. “Would youpleasestop hounding me about this? I’mfine.All right?”
