Page 37 of Going the Distance
“Oh my God.” I ran my hands hard over my face and up into my hair, shaking it out just for something to occupy their agitation. Was this why he’d been weird when we talked yesterday? Not because of our conversation on Saturday, but because something had happened with this girl? “Tell me this is some kind of joke.”
“Shelly…”
“Please.” My voice broke on the word, but somehow, miraculously, I managed not to start crying.
Rachel and Lisa looked at each other yet again, and something in me snapped. I shot out of my chair, almost knocking it over, and stormed out—ignoring Mr.Shane calling for me to sit back down—and I heard Lee chasing after me.
I stormed down the hallway, taking a few turns until I was in the staircase, where it was silent, and Lee grabbed my hand from behind, stopping me from running away any farther.
He jerked my arm, tugging me round, and I let him wrap his arms around me.
I took a few shaky breaths, more angry than upset.
No, I wasn’t angry—I wasfurious.Livid. In a rage.
And even more than that: I was confused. How could Noah do this to me? There had to be some kind of explanation for that photo, but…but even if it was totally innocent, why was some random girl kissing his cheek? Wouldn’t he have told me about it, if it was no big deal? And why did he look so damn happy about it? Things between us had felt so distant lately. What if…?
I drew in another ragged breath and then stepped back from Lee, and he let me. I blinked the tears out of my eyes, to see Lee smiling sadly.
“I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything, Elle. Noah loves you. You know that. I know that. Everyone knows that, after he went all out at the Summer Dance to win you back. He was probably drunk and even if some girl kissed him on the cheek, it’s not like it was a proper kiss, you know? It doesn’t mean anything. Cam kissed you on the cheek at Jon’s party, and Lisa didn’t go crazy.”
“That’s…Everyone’s looking at me like itdoesmean something, though. And what if it does? What if they’re right, Lee?” Without meaning to, I’d raised my voice, so that it echoed throughout the staircase. My chest heaved with shallow breaths. “What if it does mean something? I haven’t seen him for weeks and what if he’s forgotten all about me and met other girls—better, smarter, prettier, funnier girls, who are there, with him, and not on the other side of the country, and in a totally different time zone, too? Things were so weird between us when we spoke this weekend. What if he’s met someone and he’s just waiting until Thanksgiving when he sees me in person to break up with me, because he’s trying to be nice?”
Lee shook his head, but the way he bit his lip made me wonder if I was right.
“Has he said something to you?” I asked, my voice a hesitant murmur and totally pathetic. “Lee? Please, tellme.”
“He just said that he’s finding it hard to be away from you.” Lee sighed, looking me in the eye from under his thick eyelashes. “But I didn’t think he meant that he’d met someone else and that he didn’t want to be with you.”
“And what if he did?”
“Then…I guess you’ll have to call him later and talk about it and find out. But, Shelly, listen—Noah can be kind of a butthead sometimes, but he wouldn’t cheat. That’s not him.”
I knew he was right, but it made me feel nauseous all over again, just tothinkabout making that phone call. And if I was wrong, how much worse I’d make things by accusing him of something like that. Sure, maybe it was totally innocent and everything would be fine, but…
But this was the same guy who couldn’t tell me something as simple as the fact that he was finding college hard.
So what if it wasn’t fine?
• • •
For the rest of the day, I’d listened to people gossip aboutme.
The general idea everyone had decided to go with was that Noah and I had broken up, and I’d hooked up with Levi at the party (I heard the termsrevenge sexandreboundgetting thrown around a lot) and Noah had, in turn, hooked up with this preppy girl Amanda from college, the (so-called) evidence now all over Facebook.
Levi had shown up to school late—he’d had a doctor’s appointment first thing—and we’d told him about the rumors over lunch. He’d just laughed.
“People should mind their own goddamn business,” Rachel had muttered, taking an angry bite out of her apple. I didn’t think I’d ever heard her so irritated.
“It’s high school,” Dixon responded, deadpan. “What else do you expect?”
When I finally did get home, I barged up to my room, slamming the door so my dad and brother got the message not to try and talk to me, and I called my boyfriend.
If I could call him that anymore.
My hands were trembling so hard that I could feel my cell phone shaking against my face. I stopped pacing and sat down on the floor, my back against my bed, and I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my free arm around them.
I crossed my fingers that he wouldn’t pick up.
