Page 39 of Going the Distance
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. I meant, she’s a friend. She’s my lab partner. We hang out; we study together. That’s all I meant by it. Seriously, Elle, just calm down.”
“If she’s such a good friend, why is this the first I’m hearing about her?”
Noah sighed, agitated. “Okay. So, Elle, there’s a girl I’ve been hanging out with a lot. We have classes together and she’s my lab partner, and we study together a lot. We have mutual friends and hang out and go to parties together. You think I don’t know how that sounds?”
I bit my tongue, hard, before snapping back, “Is that your way of telling me you think I’m some psycho, jealous person who won’t let you hang out with other girls?”
He was quiet for a moment. His voice came out cold and steady. “You just called me to yell at me about a photo, Elle.”
I wassoready to snap at him again but caught myself, seething quietly instead. There was a bitter tang in my mouth and I was flushed, heart hammering. I’d broken out in a cold sweat.
So he was right. But it still felt like he’d beenlyingtome.
I started to understand, for a moment, just how shitty Lee must have felt when he found out I’d been dating Noah behind his back. The realization was like barbed wire around me.
When Noah realized he had a chance to say something, I heard him sigh heavily. “Listen, Elle. I know how bad things look and that maybe I should’ve mentioned Amanda before, and I know that wasn’t exactly the sort of photo you wanted to see of me, but I swear, nothing happened. It was totally innocent. She’s a hugger. She kisses people on the cheek. It’s just her thing. That wasall.It wasn’t a romantic thing, and she’s not even interested in me like that. And I’m not interested in her like that either, okay?”
“Okay,” I said quietly.But…
“I want you,” he went on, “to be able to trust me.”
I didn’t answer. Instead, I pursed my lips, because I was afraid of what I might say. Because as much as I wanted to say yes, of course I trusted him, my reaction to this whole thing made me second-guess that.
“I’m sorry that it happened, and I’m sorry you were so humiliated by it at school. But it’s no big deal, what actually happened. You know? I get that you’re mad right now but you’ll see it wasn’t. And you know I love you, and we’re good, right? It’s just gossip. You know how much people used to gossip about me. Trust me—it never means anything.”
“It feels like it means something,” I murmured. “It’s not nice to hear people calling me a slut in the hallways between classes. Or to think you’re keeping secrets.”
“Why were they doing that?” he asked, a protective edge sharpening his words.
“Because I left the party on Friday early with Levi. And with that photo of you and…Amanda…” God, I hated saying her name. I hated her. I didn’t even know her but I hated her. Talk about irrational. “…everyone jumped to conclusions. They thought we’d broken up and that we were both on the rebound. Or whatever.”
“Oh.”
“You can say all the gossip doesn’t matter, and maybe it doesn’t in the long run, but right now it’s pretty damn hurtful. Not to mention embarrassing.”
“This guy Levi…”
“Yeah?”
“You and Seven For All Mankind seem pretty close now.”
His tone was neutral, but like he was trying to make it so—and I couldn’t tell if he was jealous or not.
And he hadnodamn right to be. My temper flared.
“We are. And his name is Levi. Don’t be mean.”
There was a long pause. In a weird sort of way, I was glad if he was jealous—like it was payback for Amanda.
I hated myself for even thinking it.
It was petty and irrational.
This whole long-distance thing was such a breeze.
“Shelly?” Noah’s voice was startlingly soft and quiet, not irritable and full of jealousy like I’d expected. “We’re good, right?”
“Of course we are,” I said, though if I was being honest with myself, I really didn’t know anymore.
