Page 60 of Going the Distance
Lee knew something was up. He was my best friend, after all.
He stopped the car a few blocks away from both our houses. “Right. What the hell is going on with you lately? I know the breakup was tough on you, but let’s face it—you were the one who broke up with him, and I thought we agreed that it was for the best if he’s keeping secrets from you and might have something going on with that Amanda chick. And I know you loved him, but you can’t take it out on us.”
“It’s not about Noah, okay? Jesus.”
“Then why are you acting like this?”
I huffed, sucking my cheeks in. “I’m…I’m just all over the place, and I’m stressed out.”
“Then you should talk to me! You should tell me these things! I know you said I needed to spend some quality time with Rachel this week, but—”
“Lee…”
“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help. I want to help.”
“And I don’t want to cause more problems for you and Rachel. You don’t need to look after me twenty-four seven. I’m just not having a great week, okay? Everyone gossiping, and talking about college, and…It’s just getting to me. It’s all just getting a little too much to handle.”
“So tell me what I can do.”
“I don’t know! I…I just…”
“You what? You want to be alone for a while? Do you want me to ask Rachel if she’ll tutor you, if you’re struggling with your grades?” His voice was gentler now, and his mouth was twisted to one side with sympathy.
I reached up and grabbed at the roots of my hair. I didn’tknowwhat I wanted or what I needed. That was the problem.
“Things are just weird for me right now. I need you to understand that. I need you to be normal and I need everyone to stop asking me how I’m feeling, because the truth is, I’m not doing so hot, and…” I trailed off, running out of steam. A lump rose in my throat and I hated myself for getting so emotional and so worked up this easily. I just wanted things to be okay, like they had been a few weeks ago. I heard Lee sigh. He tapped on the dashboard agitatedly.
Then Lee said, “Wanna come around and play video games and order Chinese? We can invite the guys, too. I was supposed to catch up with some of the football guys but I can bail. We’ll take a night off. We’ll both stop thinking about homework and essays and college and grades and studying for a night. Yeah? How about that?”
It sounded perfect. I felt a rush of gratitude toward my best friend. How was he so good at knowing what I needed before I did?
“What about Rachel?”
He shrugged. “She said she was going to see a movie with some of the girls tonight anyway. It’s a win-win.”
I tried not to be hurt that I hadn’t received an invite. The girls had been including me more and more in things over the last couple of months, but that had changed suddenly in the last few days. I’d probably hate me if I were Rachel, so I couldn’t really blame her for still being off with me.
“And youpromiseyou’re going to be normal, and get off my back asking me if I’m okay all the time?”
He held up his hand. “Scout’s honor.”
• • •
It made a nice change having a night with the guys like this. We hadn’t done that in a while. Most of the time over the summer, when we’d hung out, there were boyfriends and girlfriends around, too. It had been good, but it was nice to feel like things were back to how they were last year, just for a night.
We separated our food out in the kitchen, and everyone took their plates away into the living room, until just me and Levi were picking out our orders from the plastic bags.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
I was glad he’d talked first. It was a weight off my chest I hadn’t realized was really there; it was a little easier to breathe.
In response, I said, “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.”
“It’s okay. You’ve got a lot going on.”
He smiled at me, his face open and sincere, and I beamed back.
Over dinner, Cam brought up the subject of the Sadie Hawkins dance, which felt like he’d just dumped a bucket of ice water over me. I’d been so focused on asking Noah—and him rejecting me—that the concept of actuallygoingto the dance in the next couple of weeks suddenly hit me.
