Page 69 of Going the Distance
We kept talking about colleges, even talking about Brown, and Rachel assured me she wouldn’t mind if I ended up there. We talked about school, about movies and people and literally anything except our love lives. It was weirdly refreshing.
And it was so good to feel like the air had finally cleared between me and Rachel.
• • •
Lee and Rachel, of course, made up. She’d let him sweat over it for a couple of days, but he knew how in the wrong he was, and she forgave him eventually. He hadn’t hesitated to tell me how great the make-up sex had been, which I’d teased him about, but it only made me think about Noah.
As the Sadie Hawkins dance crept closer, the excitement at school built. And the air was filled with the promise of romance. It left a bitter taste in my mouth. The number of times I got out my cell phone to text Noah—just wanting to see how he was, tempted to apologize for how things had ended between us, to say maybe we could talk again when he was home for Thanksgiving to make sure things weren’t too weird between us.
I checked his Instagram a few times.
He didn’t post that much.
Amanda, though, posted a lot, on her feed and her story (which I always watched from Levi’s phone, so she wouldn’t know I’d been snooping on her account). She seemed to be hanging out with Noah a lot.
I was the one who ended things. I had no right to be jealous. I should be happy for him. I should want him to move on and be happy.
But now, as I was getting ready for the dance, it was impossible not to miss him and regret ending things. I kept thinking about the last school dance, and how we’d gone together, and how I’d daydreamed about him coming home for the dance to do it all again.
I fixed my earrings and pursed my lips. I had to stop thinking about Noah. He hadn’t evenwantedto come to the dance with me anyway. It was better this way.
And I was free to date anyone I wanted.
My thoughts moved to my date for tonight. Everyone assumed something had happened between me and Levi, at some point.
And I couldn’t help but let my mind wander. Would I really hate it if something did happen between us? I liked Levi. A lot. He was so easy to be around, and so different to being with Noah. He knew exactly how to make me smile and laugh, and we never argued. It didn’t hurt that he was cute, either.
Would it be weird to slow dance with him tonight? If we did, would I want to kiss him?
I’d never kissed anyone except Noah.
And part of me couldn’t help but wonder what it might be like to kiss Levi.
My cheeks flushed and I caught sight of my blushing face in the mirror.
Okay, let’s maybe not think about that.
Get it together, Elle.
I probably shouldn’t be thinking about dating anybody right now. I was definitely in no rush to get my heart broken again.
“Tonight is all about me,” I told my reflection, trying to inject confidence into my voice.
I ran my fingers through my hair, shaking it out to give it some more volume. I smiled, satisfied with my appearance. I hadn’t bothered with much jewelry—just the pretty watch my dad gave me for my seventeenth birthday that used to be my mom’s and some small diamond studs.
I rocked back and forth on my feet, wiggling my toes to test my shoes. They were black kitten heels that I hadn’t worn in a while, and I couldn’t remember if they gave me blisters.
I hoped they wouldn’t. I wanted to spend most of my night dancing.
There was a knock on my half-open bedroom door, and my dad stepped in. “All ready?”
I spun, showing off my deep-red jersey dress with its flared skirt. “Yep.”
“You look really pretty, Elle.”
“Thanks.”
“Noah doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
