Page 91 of Going the Distance
Chapter 22
The park wasn’t particularly far away, but far enough that I drove. I took a detour to make it last longer. I turned up the volume on my stereo and sang along to the new Taylor Swift song the radio station was playing. I sang half the words wrong, shouting nonsense or noises instead. It kept my mind off the Flynn brothers, at least.
But when I parked and killed the engine, I had to think about them.
I wasn’t sure if I was mad at Noah, or just upset. I couldn’t tell if I was pissed at Amanda for asking if I still had feelings for Noah, or if that just made me edgy because Ididstill have feelings for Noah.
I didn’twantto still have feelings for him. I wanted to be over him.
But it was so, so hard.
And Lee…I really didn’t want to put him in the middle of all this. Mostly because I had the feeling he’d pick me. But he wasn’t who I wanted to see right now. He wasn’t who I needed to be around.
I leaned forward onto the steering wheel, kneading my forehead with my knuckles.
I felt like such a mess.
But I still wasn’t about to cry over him. Not if I could help it.
I jerked when someone rapped on my window. Levi stood outside, the collar on his jacket turned up, hair tousled, smiling at me.
I climbed out of the car.
“Hey.”
“Hi. Happy Thanksgiving.”
“You too. I’m sorry I called you and dragged you away from your family. It’s just…I needed a friend.”
Levi didn’t look remotely annoyed, though. “That’s okay. Besides, my mom was watchingLa La Landagain and my sister was too busy trying to do a puzzle for them to miss me for a while.”
“What about your dad?”
“He’s taking a nap. I think it was an excuse to get out of watchingLa La Land,but it might just be his meds making him tired again.”
I smiled at him but didn’t speak.
“Wanna go for a walk?”
I nodded, and we ambled through the park gates. It was quiet: there were some kids playing tag, their family sitting on a nearby bench, and an old couple was taking a walk hand in hand. The breeze rustled through the trees, making it rain leaves on us.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Levi asked.
“Not right now.”
He held out a hand toward me, and I took it. We’d never held hands like this before, but…it was nice. It felt like the right thing to be doing. There was no spark when we touched, no electricity. But I thought again about how, maybe, that wasn’t such a bad thing.
We walked around the park for a little while before going to the swings and sitting down. I rocked back and forth, my toes anchoring me to the ground. Levi stayed still, running his fingers over the rusted spots on the chain.
After another heartbeat of silence, I spilled my guts out. Told him how sucky my Thanksgiving Day had been and how I hated that Amanda was so nice, and that she’d even asked if I still had feelings for Noah, and—
“Do you?” he interrupted me.
“Huh?”
“Do you still have feelings for Noah?”
“You know what the worst part is?” I said instead. “He didn’t even say hi to me. And half the time he couldn’t even look me in the eye.”
