Page 92 of Going the Distance
“Are you sure he’sactuallyin a relationship with Amanda?”
The question startled me.
“Well…he’s…he’s got to be. I mean…”
All the evidence suggested he was. Or that they had something going on. That picture, the phone call, all the parties they went to together, the casual touches, the fact that he brought her home for the holidays…that she’d wanted to know if I still had feelings for him…
And yet.
No relationship status on Facebook. No introduction of her as his girlfriend. No mention of her being his girlfriend or anything else. No kissing. Not even really any hugging. No soppy looks between them.
I’d convinced myself so easily that I’d forgotten nobody had actually called her his girlfriend.
I glared at the ground, kicking off sideways so that the chains of my swing twisted around. I bit my tongue.
So what if they weren’t officially anything? There had to be something there. Otherwise…otherwise…
I picked both my feet up off the ground, letting myself spin around so fast that I got a little dizzy. Levi’s voice floated around me.
“If you don’t wanna talk about it, I can change the topic. Let’s see…There’s football, the parade, um…Frozen.I can quoteFrozenby heart now. We can sing one of the duets, if you want, but I get to sing Anna’s parts. Or there’s the French Revolution. Spanish Civil War. The episode ofJeopardy!I watched last night…”
I’d stopped spinning now, and he was still rambling.
“Levi—”
“Embarrassing stories from my childhood—”
What I meant to do was tell him to shut up, tell him I’d rather not talk at all right now.
That’s not what happened, though.
On some reckless, crazy impulse, I reached across to his swing, grabbed his coat collar, and pulled him toward me.
And just like that, we were kissing.
I’d only ever kissed Noah. His kisses were familiar; they made my skin tingle with that firework feeling I’d always read about in books. His kisses were the only ones I’d known.
And kissing Levi was so different and so weirdly similar all at once.
I pushed all thoughts of Noah from my mind and concentrated on kissing Levi. It was all soft and hesitant—he’d stayed still for a second at first, but now his hand was on my face and he was kissing me back.
I knew I was doing this for all the wrong reasons. I knew it wasn’t fair to Levi. But I couldn’t seem to stop. I was a horrible, horrible person.
And all I could think about was how it was nice, and exactly like I’d expected it to be when I’d thought about kissing him, but it wasn’t like kissing Noah.
My thoughts still plagued by Noah, I kissed Levi harder. I needed to forget about Noah. I needed to move on. And I liked Levi, so why not move on with Levi?
I was the worst person in the world.
I was the one who stopped kissing him, though. Eventually.
When I did, I felt beyond ashamed of myself. Levi looked a little happy and a lot confused. His eyelids were heavy, his breathing shallow.
I’d started to open my mouth to apologize when the park gate clanged loudly, like someone had slammed it back into place. I looked around and saw a tall, broad figure striding away. It was getting dark, so I couldn’t see him properly—but I didn’t need to.
He’d followed me here—or Lee had told him and he’d come after me. And he’d seen.
My stomach lurched. My lips formed his name and it felt like someone had punched the air straight out of my lungs.
