Page 97 of Going the Distance
Amanda sipped her water and then dropped her shoulders back, as if squaring herself for something. Was she here to tell me to back off? Insist that I keep away from Noah or something? Tell me to get over him already and stop mooning around like some silly little girl?
“Why won’t you talk to him?”
“What?”
Okay, whatever I’d expected, that wasnotit.
Far from it.
“He didn’t send me over here or anything like that, but I just thought…well, I thought maybe you could talk tomeif you couldn’t talk to him. Hereallymisses you, you know. And Iknowhe feels bad about what happened between you, and about yesterday. For goodness’ sake,allhe’s been able to talk about since we booked flights to come was what he was going to say to you. You’re all he talks about. I understand that you probably don’t want to see him, but he really does just want to talk. He says you deserve an explanation.”
I stared at her, gaping, for probably a full minute. Maybe more.
Amanda, looking awkward for a change, sipped some more water and looked around the kitchen.
“I don’t get it,” I said finally. “Why areyoutalking to me about this?”
“I know, Iknowit’s not really my place, but I care about Noah, and he’s really cut up about what happened, so I thought—”
“Yeah, yeah, you thought you’d try to get me to talk to him. I just don’t get whyyoucare. I mean, I thought…you guys…It just doesn’t make any sense.”
She stared at me for a moment, a quizzical expression on her pretty face.
Shit, was she really going to make me say it?
“I don’t get why this is such a big deal to you now you guys are, you know…a thing.”
Amanda made a weird choking noise, her eyes blown wide, and her hand flew to her mouth. A giggle escaped her lips. “Oh my God. He didn’t tell you, did he. He didn’t tell you?”
“Tell mewhat?”
“Oh shit. Sorry. I mean…No, it’s…” She looked flustered, her hands waving around her erratically, and she bit her lip between words. Finally, she composed herself, looking calm and collected and…and like she was almost about to laugh. “We’re definitelynota thing. We never were.”
Now it was my turn to look like an idiot and gawp at her. Her face was open, sincere, her blue eyes wide and apologetic.
“Honestly. I thought he told you. I mean…he neversaidhe told you, but I thought he must have. He said you thought we were together and that was part of the reason you guys broke up, but I assumed he told you weweren’t.”
“I mean, he said you were…friends. He said you were lab partners. That you were close and I wouldn’t get it. And he brought you home for Thanksgiving.”
“Yes, because he didn’t want me to stay on my own back at school. Weareclose. You try spending hours in labs and classes with someone and not bonding. Of course he invited me for Thanksgiving when he heard I planned to spend it alone in the dorms. He’s a nice guy.”
“No kidding,” I said, my voice sounding weird, like it didn’t belong to me. It sounded detached, and flat, and not half as confused as I felt right now.
“Oh, God, I can’tbelievethis. Nowonderyou looked so awkward yesterday. I thought it was just because of Noah. I didn’t think it was because you thought we were together. I’msosorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” I said in the voice that didn’t sound like mine.
“I didn’t even think. I’m so sorry, Elle. But I promise you, there’s nothing going on with us. There never has been. He’s like…He’s like a little brother or something. Kind of helpless. You know he can barely work out how to do his own laundry? He tries to wingman for me at parties, set me up with guys.”
I didn’t know what to do with this information.
I tried to digest it, but the words just swirled around in my head. I felt numb. My mouth had gone dry.
“He feelsawfulabout what happened with you two. And about yesterday. He was really upset about you leaving. He went to go and look for you, but he said he couldn’t find you. I don’t know if he means to just clear the air so you can both move on or what. He wasn’t really in the mood to talk to me or Lee about it yesterday.”
I stared at her a while longer.
“You’re not together.”
