Page 16 of The Layover
It’s like sheknowsthat when I say no, I haven’t heard from Marcus, what I mean is that he left my message on read. With a thumbs-up reaction.
But he probably just saw it quickly and didn’t have time to reply properly. He’s always doing that. He’ll text when he gets a chance, he always does.
I dither next to the table, taking my time putting away my purse, pretending to rummage through my bag for something, wondering if I can make an escape now. Could I invent some work I have to do? What if they catch me in a lie, though? This isn’t a very big airport, they’re bound to see me, and see I’m obviously reading a book instead of working, and they’ll know I lied to them …
Leon has joined us by now, slumping into the extra seat that Gemma has pulled over to our small table. ‘No word from Kay,’ he says.
‘We werelitsjust saying!’ Gemma flaps a hand at me. ‘Honestly, you’d think the pair of them would wait to completely ignore the rest of the world until the honeymoon, wouldn’t you! Cheeky buggers. Oh, Fran, hon, sit down already. You’re making the place look untidy! Not like we’ve got anywhere else to be, is it?’
She laughs, and even that’s somehow both prettyandmanufactured. Like, it’s almosttoonice to be real.
I shake off the thought. Just because Kayleigh can be a bit up herself …
I glance at Leon.Obviously a family trait.
Still. I shouldn’t hold that against Gemma, and weareall stuck here for the next nine hours – and for the entire long weekend beyond that, at the same resort.
If the wedding even goes ahead …
And what if itdoesgo ahead? What then?
‘You alright?’ Gemma says. ‘You look all out of sorts, Fran.’
‘F-fine. Yeah.’ I sit down, shoving my bag between my knees and onto the floor. My stomach is in knots.
I hadn’t really thought that far ahead … My plan sort of began and ended at talking to Marcus and confessing my feelings to him – and then he would say he felt the same, and …
Right now, faced with the maid of honour and the bride’s brother, those daydreams feel naïve and juvenile. I can practically hear the gentle admonishments my friends and family would make if they knew the whole truth, all the ‘I told you so’ looks I’d get even as they comforted me in my heartbreak.
How my older sister would give me a cuddle and rub my back and say, ‘Well, it’s his loss! But, really, if he wasengaged… don’t you think you should’ve gotten over this crush a while ago?’
How the girls from uni would jump on a group call immediately, and we’d all order ourselves Deliveroo and gossip as per our usual routine. They’d cuss him out for hurting me just like they did after he started seeing Kayleigh, I’d cry, and then they’d say, ‘Yeah but Fran, hon, hehada chance with you, and he didn’t take it. And even if he had, you lose them how you get them, so you’re sparing yourself some heartache down the line …’
As if they knowanythingabout us.
I swallow the lump in my throat, but it doesn’t go away, so I take a few tiny sips of my too-hot tea to try to clear it, though that only succeeds in scalding the tip of my tongue.
Marcus and I – we have somethingspecial. That night we spent together, it meant something. It wasn’t only a one-night stand, some random hook-up, or a drunken fumble with a mate that you both laugh about the next day.
You don’t touch somebody you don’t care about like that.
You don’t lie there whispering about your deepest fears and biggest dreams with them until dawn begins to sneak in around the corner of the blinds.
And you don’t flirt with them for years around the office, have everyone talk about you like you’re such a pair, always find excuses to drop by each other’s desks or mundane little things to message about during the workday, and then text all the time when you’re apart, even long after you’ve gotten a girlfriend, if they don’t mean something to you.
Gemma and Leon are busy talking about some of his family, and I sink deeper into the memories. Marcus popping up on our work’s internal IM system to suggest getting lunch together. The arm he’d sling over the back of my chair when we were both at after-work drinks, the random texts we’d shoot back and forth,alwaysinitiated by him because he’d seen or thought of something that reminded him of me.
I felt that spark the very first time I saw him. All that build-up, culminating in the perfect night together …
He only chose Kayleigh because he thoughtIdidn’t choosehim.
Those feelings, that flirtation, it’s never really gone away. No matter how careful I’ve been to make sure I respect the fact he’s with someone else now, to keep things just friendly and not overstep the mark.
But that connection we have …
The way he acts around me …
I justknowif I tell him I feel the same way, that I’m in love with him, too, he won’t go ahead with marrying Kayleigh. And I have to tell him. He has to know.
