Page 89 of The Layover
‘Oh, God, I just heard it. Please tell me I didn’t sound that pathetic.’
Leon and I exchange looks, biting back laughs. She groans again.
The bridesmaids have hurried forward, and Kayleigh is hissing at the stripper, her face contorted into something furious and ugly. Marcus has walked over, too.
‘I know you felt it!’ cowboy guy crows. ‘I know we met on your hen do and it’s only been a couple of weeks but it’s you, baby. It’s you. You’re all I can think about. We’re meant to be together, I just know it.’
I am screaming. Internally, obviously. This is pure fucking gold.
‘Mate, whoareyou? Kay, who is this guy?’ Marcus asks.
The stripper – David, apparently – stands up. He’s all thick neck and beefy arms, which apart from the fact he can’t be a day over twenty-two, does make Marcus look a bit like he’s facing off against The Rock.
‘I’m the guy she’s meant to be with,’ he declares, chest puffed up.
Kayleigh presses the heel of her wrist to her forehead, exasperated – angry at the disruption more than she is embarrassed. After all, this is not how she (we, I) planned this moment. David’s spectacle is eating into her post-ceremony photo time.
She huffs, ‘No, you’re not. He’s no one. He’s a stripper we met on the hen do.’
Marcus laughs, pointing at him. ‘What, the cowboy? As if!’
‘We have something special!’ David insists. ‘We kissed.’
There’s a collective inhale from the congregation. Leon cringes, and on my other side Fran is clutching my arm tight and whispering, ‘Don’t you dare let me try to tell a man I love him ever again. I cannot believe I was actually going to dothis.’
Leon leans around me to look at her, wide-eyed. ‘You didn’t tell him?’
‘No! I couldn’t—’
I have to cut them off. ‘I’m not being funny, you two, but save it for your nextdeplorabletoilet trip. There is peak reality show-level drama unfolding here.’
Kayleigh gives Marcus a long-suffering look while he laughs, and the mood shifts so sharply I almost feel the wind change with it. There’s no outrage from Marcus that his bride snogged another man only weeks ago; he thinks it’sfunny, and she is clearly only annoyed by this interruption in her otherwise perfect day – not humiliated, or even sorry. And Marcus just …doesn’t care.
It’s not even like he’s trying to save face. He genuinely thinks this is going to be a funny story they tell about the day later, not something that would spoil it, or get between them.
Marcus claps David on the shoulder. ‘Alright, mate, time to go. Unless you want to wait for them to ask if anyone objects?’
‘Don’tgive him ideas,’ Kayleigh snaps. ‘David, get out.’
‘But—’
‘One kiss and a bit of harmless flirting doesn’t mean I want you to fly halfway across Europe and ruin my wedding, for God’s sake. Get a grip!’ she sneers at him, then snatches the Ladurée bag out of his hands, passing it to Andi. I don’t blame her; they arereallygood macarons, and would probably be wasted on David. ‘Now take your pathetic flowers and sad attitude and go home.’
‘I really hope she kept the thong,’ I whisper to Fran, who snorts a laugh and draws a few glowers from guests. Even Leon has to choke down a chuckle, fighting to keep his face neutral.
David stands shocked for a moment, before stumbling back a few steps and fleeing the scene. I feel kind of bad for him, getting shot down like that – but you know, he did bring this humiliation on himself.
Marcus tells Kayleigh, ‘You look gorgeous, babe.’
She beams. ‘I know.’
‘Ready to do this?’
‘Well, I’ve got to do my entrance again. He ruined it.’
‘Wouldn’t have it any other way.’ Marcus winks at her, and Kayleigh looks a little happier as she goes back up the stairs to have her big moment for the crowd and cameras, and an uneasy mutter sweeps through the guests. Marcus notices and calls to them, ‘Nothing to see here, folks! Show’s back on!’
He takes his spot back at the altar.
