Page 53 of Between the Lines

But something was different this time. Something deep, welling up from secret places, fierce and irrepressible.Love, he thought with despair. The love he’d seen between Finn and Josh, the love he longed to have for himself: this was it, and tomorrow it would be over. His mouth fell open as if to confess, or cry out in protest, but all words had fled. There was nothing left but this glorious, heartbreaking bliss.

“Theo.” Luca’s fingers gripped Theo’s shoulders hard as he deepened the angle, hips rolling, driving Theo wild. It was almost too much. He cruised the cusp between ecstasy and excess, chasing a release he both needed and couldn’t bear to reach because then it would be over. With an inarticulate cry of frustration, he pressed his face into the mattress and Luca rasped, “Come on. Come on, baby.”

Baby.

Then Luca’s hand closed around Theo’s cock, steady strokes driving him inexorably toward the edge, and his orgasm thundered over him like a breaking wave. He came so hard everything sparked out—he stopped breathing, his vision dissolved, and he lost track of his body entirely. Nothing existed but sensation as he shivered and shook his way through wave after wave of overpowering emotion.

“Yeah,” Luca gasped in the distance. “Yeah, fuck, Theo...” Fingers clamped on his shoulders and Luca’s body locked as he cried out his own release and slumped forward. His panting breaths fell hot on the nape of Theo’s neck, his chest sweaty and heaving against Theo’s back, one arm around his waist holding him close. Holding him up. “I’m here,” he whispered, kissing the top of Theo’s spine. “I’m right here.”

Theo was still shaking, his emotions utterly out of control, Luca the only thing keeping him together. He shivered in a breath, wincing as Luca gently withdrew, and then collapsed onto his belly and hid his face in the pillows. It was over. He’d never have it again and he couldn’t bear the loss.

Luca ghosted a hand over Theo’s shoulder. “Back in a minute.” But even that light touch was too much and Theo jolted helplessly away, biting his lip against a sob. Dimly, through the blood rushing in his ears, he heard the bathroom light click on as Luca dealt with the condom and cleaned himself up. A moment later the bed dipped and Luca’s warm presence was back. “Roll over,” he said softly, somehow knowing not to touch, and Theo made his heavy-limbed body flop onto his back, flinging an arm over his eyes to blot out the too-bright light and hide his helpless tears.

Very lightly, Luca smoothed a warm washcloth over Theo’s stomach. He flinched at first, but he was starting to come down and gradually it became more bearable. When he was clean, Luca got up and a moment later the room went dark as he switched off the lamp. Theo lifted his heavy arm from his eyes, blinking against the bright spots in his vision and swiping at his damp cheeks.

“Hey,” Luca said, when he got back into bed, stretching himself out next to Theo. He still didn’t touch. “Pretty intense, huh?”

Theo could only nod. Intense, terrible—he half expected to see his chest torn open and his bloody heart beating and exposed to the world.This is the last time. This is the only time.He turned and buried his face against Luca’s shoulder before his crashing grief betrayed him. “Hold me,” he whispered into Luca’s skin.

With a deep sigh, Luca wrapped him in his arms and they shifted and shuffled until they were tangled comfortably together, one of Luca’s hands tracing lazy circles over the small of Theo’s back. “Sleep,” Luca whispered, dropping a kiss on the top of his head. “I’ll be here.”

Theo closed his eyes and pretended it was true.

Chapter Twenty-One

Rain woke Theo up before the alarm on his phone, pattering against the windows. An unusual sound, here—at least for him. New Milton would always be associated with the summer sun in his mind, the summer sun and Luca.

He turned his head and let his eyes wander over the man sleeping next to him. Luca lay on his front, face turned toward Theo and one arm curled up over his head as he breathed in deep, heavy sleep. His tangled hair spread out on the pillow, tanned shoulders dark against the white sheets, the few freckles over his nose barely visible in the watery morning light. He looked lovely and lovable.

And I love you.Theo tried the words out in his mind, spoke them silently with his lips, testing their truth.I love you.Yes, they chimed like a bell inside his heart, deeply resonant. What he felt for Luca was profound, nothing like the brief infatuation he’d endured for Grant Daly, and knowing it was over hurt with a deep, physical pain. His chest cramped at the thought of never waking like this again, with Luca by his side—of never feeling the steadying grasp of his hand as they walked across the beach together, of never seeing the bright challenge in his eyes as he urged Theo out of his comfort zone. Of never knowing the soul-deep connection that made him feel whole and alive and real.

Until now, he’d never understood that heartache was as raw and visceral as a migraine. But at least—and this was a real consolation—they were parting as friends. Theo had nothing to look back on with embarrassment, and if they met again it would be warm and without awkwardness. All that remained now was to leave without betraying how very much he hadn’t followed the “no mushy stuff” clause of their agreement. As long as Luca didn’t know how he felt, it wouldn’t spoil what they’d shared.

That’s why Theo crept out of bed in silence, slipping into the bathroom. He’d left his city clothes out when he’d packed yesterday and his hands shook as he dressed, emotion aching in his throat. He knew he couldn’t say goodbye, not without making a fool of himself, and so dressed quickly, turning off the bathroom light before he returned to the bedroom. His bags sat ready by the door. All he had to do was leave.

But he couldn’t. He found himself lingering, watching Luca sleep. Last night had undone him entirely. Luca had been so loving, so tender and sweet, that even though Theo knew their time together was ending—because Luca hadtoldhim so—he couldn’t help wondering whether something had changed between them. But those were dangerous bloody waters, depths he wasn’t equipped to navigate. The last time he’d thought his feelings were reciprocated, he’d ended up heartbroken, humiliated, and facing a harassment charge.

He’d never make that mistake again.

Better the grief of this silent parting than the shame of confessing feelings unwanted and unreturned. Luca had said nothing to indicate he wanted Theo to stay, and Theo wasn’t taking any chances on his dubious ability to read Luca’s silences. Not again. No matter how much it hurt, he had to pull himself together and go. They’d had a summer fling and now it was over. That had been the deal.

Time to get back to reality.

Teeth gritted against the pressure in his chest, Theo took one final look at Luca—face relaxed in sleep, his arm stretched out toward the empty space where Theo had slept—and then made himself turn away. Eyes prickling, heart a solid, aching lump, Theo fumbled open the door and stepped out into the silent hallway.

He paused outside, eyes scrunched shut against the pain of leaving, ears pricked for sounds within the room—Luca coming to stop him, to tell him he wasn’t the only one who’d fallen in love... But there was no sound, nothing at all in the silent hotel save the rattle of rain against the windows.

Willing himself to relax, Theo opened his eyes. Normally it would be light by now, but storm clouds hunkered over them this morning, turning the dawn soggy gray. It fitted Theo’s mood as he dragged his cases along the corridor and down the stairs, taking it slow to avoid tripping. Nobody was around when he reached the foyer, the only sound the soft tick-tock of the grandfather clock and the slow thump-thud of his case bumping down the last few steps. At the bottom, he stopped to catch his breath and flex his aching arm, then swung his carryall over his shoulder and headed for the door.

As he passed the dining room, he was struck by an unbidden memory of Jude and Don dancing—remembered dancing with Luca at the wedding—and felt another weight of sadness cramp his heart. Next time he returned, if he returned, the Majestic would stand empty and on the cusp of demolition. And Luca would be gone. He had to bite his lip against a stupid welling of tears.

Outside, the rain was falling in a steady downpour and one of Lux’s cars sat waiting, sleek and black in the gloom. He smiled, though, when Miranda climbed out of the driver’s seat, opening up a large rainbow-colored umbrella as she picked her way across the gravel toward him. “Morning, boss,” she said. Even at this hour, her winged eyeliner was in place. Climbing up the steps, she took one of his bags and held the umbrella over them both as they headed for the car. “You look like I feel. Like this is too early for humans to function.”

“I thought you’d book a driver,” he said as she popped the trunk.

“Yeah, well, you sounded like you could do with the company.”

He eyed her as he heaved his case into the trunk. “I did?”

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