Page 40 of Twice Shy

Joel’s mouth twisted into a humorless smile. “I can’t pretend it didn’t hurt. To be honest, it…” He cast an uncertain look at Ollie. “It broke me for a while. I loved her a lot. I really did. And finding out she didn’t feel the same— Well, it’s left a mark.”

“I’ll bet.” And there weren’t many men, Ollie thought, who’d confess as much out loud. “When did it happen?”

“Four years ago, now. It’s why I moved here. To get away from that whole…world, I guess.” He ran a hand through his hair, the slick strands falling back a little askew. “We both worked in banking. Helen still does, so does her new husband.” A wry grimace. “My former boss.”

“Ouch.”

He shrugged, pasting on an unconvincing smile. “Anyway, here I am. New life. New low-stress job—”

“You think teaching’s low stress?”

His smile grew more genuine, brightening his eyes. “Compared with my old job, yes. But it’s meaningful, too. It’s uplifting even when it’s difficult.”

“You enjoy it.” That was obvious, and the way he lit up just talking about it made Ollie smile.

“I do. I love children. They’re so…optimistic. You can’t be cynical around children.”

“That isverytrue. Seeing things through Rory’s eyes—simple things like, oh, a crab on the beach—feels like seeing them for the first time.” He laughed, cringing at his own sentimentality. “God that sounds like a cliché.”

“No, I know exactly what you mean.” Joel smiled again and Ollie smiled back, right into those intense gray eyes. They looked blue in this light, a deep sea-blue.

God, he was attractive. That silky dark hair, a little ruffled from where he’d run his fingers through it, fell forward over his forehead, and he was watching Ollie with such focus. Such interest. When Ollie licked his lips Joel tracked the movement, his eyes dipping to Ollie’s mouth. His eyelashes were long and lush, mouth very slightly parted. Almost in invitation.

Ollie wanted to kiss him. More than that, he wanted to be in his arms. He wanted those strong arms around him, holding him. It was probably a reaction to the accident, some atavistic need for comfort. Whatever the reason, he ached for it.

And he thought Joel felt the same, could see the flush in his cheeks and the rapid rise and fall of his chest. But despite his intent gaze, Joel held himself back. Restraint was written in every muscle, and yet those eyes watched him with such focus it looked like nothing less than longing. Ollie shifted on the small sofa, moving so that his bent knee pressed encouragingly against Joel’s thigh. His pulse kicked at the flare of heat and Joel’s eyelids flickered, lips parting.

Neither of them moved. Neither of them looked away. Neither of them breathed.

“Ollieeeeeeeee…”

Ollie was off the sofa and running for the bedroom in a flash. He barely managed to get the bowl under Rory’s chin in time. Kneeling on the floor, holding Rory’s hair back with one hand and the bowl with the other, his heart thundered with adrenaline, frustration, and fading arousal. Damn. Damn, damn, damn.

“It’s okay,” he said softly, stroking Rory’s hair. “You’ll feel better soon, sweetheart.”

By the time Rory was settled and dozing off again, and Ollie had cleaned everything up, Joel had tidied the kitchen and done the dishes. He stood hovering near the top of the stairs with his jacket on when Ollie left the bathroom. “How is he?” Joel said.

“Okay. I hope that was the last of it.”

Joel’s hands plunged deep into his pockets and his gaze landed shy of Ollie’s. If he’d had reversing lights, they’d have been on. “I left the car key on the counter,” he said. “And I mean it—use it for as long as you need. Alfie’s Autos has a charging point. Or you’re welcome to…to charge it at my house. Just let me know.”

Ollie nodded, too tired to argue and, in truth, in no position to refuse. Without Joel’s generosity he’d be in deep trouble. “Thank you,” he said, with as much dignity as he could muster. “I appreciate it, everything you’ve done.”

“You don’t need—” Whatever else he’d been about to say, Joel changed his mind. “I guess I’ll see you at the Fall Festival? I think Jackie wants us back on the grill.”

“Sure,” Ollie said. “I’ll be there.”

Another awkward, lengthy hesitation followed before Joel nodded, apparently having reached a decision, and started down the stairs. “I hope Rory’s feeling better tomorrow,” he called over his shoulder. “And you’ve got my number if…if you need anything.”

Ollie did have his number. But what he needed tonight didn’t seem to be on offer, may never be on offer, and he listened to the front door close with a gloomy sense of opportunities missed.

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