“No.” He backed up. “No, Joel. I have enough shit going on in my life without this. I don’t need—”
His voice cracked, and Joel’s heart cracked with it. A different kind of pain now, not the fear of being left but the fear of deserving to be left. The fear that he’d screwed everything up. “I’m sorry,” he said desperately. “I was wrong. I should have given you a chance to explain—”
“No! Christ, don’t you get it? I shouldn’t have toexplain. You should havetrustedme. Period. Fuck, Joel, I had to fight through the courts to prove I was good enough to raise Rory and Luis. I don’t need to prove anything toyou. I won’t. You either trust me or you don’t. And youdon’t. That’s all I need to know.”
With that, he stalked up the beach to where Rory and Luis were struggling to drag a huge piece of driftwood out of the pile. Joel stared, rooted to the spot, feet sinking into soggy sand and his heart too cold to beat. Was that it? Was it over? Had Ollie just ended it?
“Ollie!” he shouted, but the wind carried his name away. Or maybe Ollie just ignored it. He was kneeling in the sand with Rory now, hugging him, and then he got to his feet, took the boys’ hands, and began to lead them back along the beach. “Oliver!” Joel yelled again after him. “Ollie, please!”
Only Rory turned around, glancing curiously over his shoulder for a moment.
None of them heard the sob that caught in Joel’s throat as he watched them walk out of his life; it was snatched by the wind and carried up into the glowering skies.