Page 90 of Twice Shy

And there it was: the question he’d been expecting for the last couple of years.

Carefully, he set the dishes in the sink. “No, I’m not going to kiss anyone tonight. But if I did, it wouldn’t be a girl. It would be a boy. Well, a grown-up boy. A man.”

Grown-up boy?Come on, Ollie.

Rory frowned. “Why?”

“Well, because some people like kissing girls and some people like kissing boys. And I’m someone who likes kissing boys. Men.”

“Why?”

“It’s just the way I am. Like—some people like chocolate cupcakes with strawberry frosting, and some people like vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting.”

Rory pulled a face. “Chocolate frosting’s gross.”

“Rory…”

“Mateo says it looks like poop.”

“Then Mateo is being silly. Lots of people love chocolate frosting, and it’s mean to say there’s something wrong with it just because Mateo doesn’t like it.”

Rory considered that, then more quietly said, “Idolike chocolate frosting sometimes.”

“There you go, then. We all like different things. And wouldn’t it be boring if everyone liked the same thing?” He ruffled Rory’s hair. “Now finish up your dinner, or we’ll be late for the party.”

And that, Ollie thought as he turned back to the dishes, was apparently that. Some boys like kissing boys, some people prefer chocolate frosting. No Big Deal.

His satisfaction at how well that little conversation had gone stayed with him on the drive to the Majestic and only faded when he saw Joel’s car parked out front. Childishly, he pulled up as far away from it as possible, as if that might take the sting out of the meeting to come.

As always, the hotel looked magnificent and he felt a pang of regret when he remembered the evening he and Joel had spent there before Thanksgiving—and the spectacular weekend that had followed. A pang of regret? Make that a roiling mess of longing. Perhaps coming here had been a bad idea after all.

“Come on, Ollie,” Rory said, tugging at his hand.

It pulled him out of his introspection. That weekend had been months ago now, he should forget it. Life was moving on.

Holding the boys’ hands, he led them across the driveway and up the steps. Theo Wishart was standing in the foyer when they arrived, almost as if he’d been waiting for them. There was no sign of Luca. “Hello,” Theo said, smiling. “I’m so glad you made it.”

Which was odd. Why should Theo care whether they’d made it? But perhaps he meant the PTA in general. Ollie found a smile from amongst his churning feelings and concentrated on not looking around in search of Joel. “Thanks for hosting us again.” He liked Theo, wished he could have known him better, and pushed that regret sharply aside. “Looks like things are already getting started,” he said with a nod toward the dining room, from where music and flashing lights spilled out.

“Yes, do go on through.” Theo’s gaze dipped to Rory. “Hello there. You’re Rory, aren’t you?” Rory nodded shyly. “And this must be Luis?” He glanced over. “Is that the right pronunciation?”

“Sure, for a Brit.” Ollie grinned and after a pause Theo returned his smile.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you both,” he said. “I hope you enjoy the party.”

If Ollie hadn’t had so much else on his mind, he might have found Theo’s behavior curious. But as he headed into the dining room all he could think about was keeping calm when he saw Joel. They hadn’t met since the PTA meeting last month and—

There he was.

Joel stood at the far side of the room. All the tables and chairs had been pushed to the sides to make a small dance floor for the kids in the middle. One of those kids’ birthday party DJs, who played music and ran games, had set up in the corner, and already a cluster of older children had gathered around him waving glow-sticks they’d bought from the table Jackie and Alyssa were running. And where they stood talking to Joel.

Ollie could only see him in profile, his glossy hair catching the rainbow lights of the disco as he ran one hand through it. A nervous gesture, and Ollie’s stomach fluttered helplessly at the idea that Joel might feel nervous about seeing him. Not that it would change anything; his decision was made. But still…

Rory slipped his hand free and darted off to where Mateo was haring about with a couple of the other younger kids. Ollie bent to scoop Luis up onto his hip before he got the same idea, and that’s when he saw Joel freeze, his hand still in his hair. Alyssa was speaking to him, trying to look casual, although it was clear she’d just told him that Ollie had arrived.

After a pause Joel turned and their eyes met. Ollie felt the jolt of connection clear across the room, and despite all his good intentions, part of him wanted to fling himself into Joel’s arms again. Just to be held. But of course, that had always been impossible; Joel wouldn’t permit it. Not here. Swallowing against the hard lump in his throat, Ollie buried his face in Luis’s soft hair and breathed in the scent of baby shampoo, letting the child’s warmth comfort him. When he looked back again, Joel had gone.

That was that, then.