Page 29 of King's Man

It hurt to imagine it.

“Looks like they’re hitching up the horses,” Sam said, and Nate realized he hadn’t responded to Sam’s confession. He tried to catch his eye a couple of times as Sam got to his feet and gathered his damp clothes together, but he was purposely absorbed in what he was doing and headed back toward the chaise without saying anything more.

Troubled, Nate followed.

And halfway across the swath of grass, Sam slowed and stopped.“I miss you, too,” he said quietly, without turning around. “But that’s just another reason not to look back.”

Nate caught his breath, but before he could think of a response Sam had started walking again. Back straight and stiff, he crossed the yard toward the coach, leaving Nate to follow in his wake.

Chapter Ten

By the time they reached the Crown and Anchor in the market town of Stone, even the long summer evening was slipping into dusk. Sam figured it was past nine o’clock. They’d traveled late to make up time and were now within a day’s reach of Liverpool. But Stone was full of travelers and the inn was very crowded.

He was lucky to get the last room.

“It’s a large bed,” the landlord said, offering them the key. “Comfortable enough for two gents, and not damp.”

Sam took the key without comment, and they went into the tap room to eat a dinner of roasted beef and mashed turnips. The heavy brass key sat on the table between them like a threat. Sam could hardly look at it. As they ate, he glanced across the table and Nate met his eyes, unflinching. Unreadable. Utterly beguiling. He always had been, since the first day he’d walked into John Reed’s office with his smart coat and glinting dark eyes and turned Sam’s world upside down.

He was afraid he’d overturn it again if Sam let him.

Perhaps Nate saw something of that in his face, because he offered a smile as he said, “The post-boy reckons we’ll reach Liverpool tomorrow, if the weather holds.”

“And from there to Marlborough Castle. How far is it, do you know?”

“Afraid not. We’ll need to get directions at the inn. But no more than a day’s drive, as I understand.”

By unspoken consent, they lingered in the tap room until it got dark, which was late at this time of year. Sam still found it strange to see the sun dawdling above the horizon close to ten o’clock at night, but today he wished it would stay light longer still, putting off the inevitable moment; the thought of that one room and its one bed tormented him.

Nate sighed. “If you want, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“Or I could.”

A beat of silence fell between them. Nate said, “Or we could just behave like grown men.”

Sam wasn’t sure what that meant. He didn’t ask, either, uncertain about the answer he wanted to hear. His resolve felt weak, after all that had happened today.

Truth was, he could have kissed Nate right there in the muddy road, pinned down, flushed and laughing. He’d wanted to. Or standing in the river with Nate’s hot fingers resting against his chest. God, how he’d wanted him.

I miss touching you, Nate had said.I miss you.

Christ, he could still feel the bruising clash of their lips last night, Nate’s heat and urgency, and the way his own body had ignited like tinder awaiting the fall of a spark. He hummed with it still, that incessant impossible desire that he couldn’t smother. And daren’t indulge.

When it could no longer be avoided, Nate paid for their meals and they hauled their luggage up to the room in silence. It was small, didn’t fit much more than a washstand and the bed, although the landlord had been right about the bed — it looked big enough for two, even when one of them was as broad as Sam. Nate, he was a slender creature. In a bed like that, they’d —

The floor, Sam thought as his face flushed.It had better be the floor.

They washed and undressed in a difficult silence. Sam kept his back turned as he slipped off his boots and breeches, leaving on only his shirt for modesty’s sake. And with each moment, the silence grew heavier. He could hear Nate moving around behind him, the rustle of his clothing, the thump of a dropped boot. Hell, was there anything more awkward than awkwardness where, once, there’d been none?

By the time Sam had folded his clothes into a neat pile atop his valise, dusk had faded to night. They lit no candle, but the moon was full. Its silvery light flooded the room, reminding Sam too much of the Pawtuxet and Nate stretched out naked on its banks. His cock stirred but he dared not pull the drapes. Ever since the suffocating dark of Simsbury, he’d needed to be able to see the night sky, to know he had a way out into the air. No, there would be no blocking out the moonlight or the memories tonight.

He took a pillow and a blanket from the bed, but the floor looked hard and cramped. While he wrestled with the decision, he glanced over at Nate washing at the basin. Bent forward, Nate scooped up water in his hands, splashing it over his face. His slender back and shapely ass were uncomfortably well defined by his fine lawn shirt, bare thighs as lithe as Sam remembered. His throat went dry, fingers clutching the thin pillow he held, and then something swung out from around Nate’s neck to clank against the porcelain basin.

Nate cursed and tucked it back inside his shirt, but he was too late. Sam had seen the gleam of gold in the moonlight. With a jolt of recognition, he surged forward without thought and seized the leather cord that hung about Nate’s neck, yanking out the ring he’d hidden away.

Nate reached for it too and ended up with his fingers curled around Sam’s hand, the ring clutched between them. Then they were just looking at each other, Nate’s eyes wide with alarm, droplets of water clinging to the tips of his lashes and the scruff on his jaw. They were so close Sam could feel the heat of Nate’s bare leg pressing against his own, his breath washing over their tangled fingers. His whole body flushed with fire and fury. “Why do you keep it?” he rasped, chest heaving like he’d been fighting. “Why do you still have it?”

The ring was set with strands of his blond and Nate’s dark hair, woven together as a token of their unbreakable bond. It felt like mockery now.