Page 31 of King's Man

He dared not move, tried to keep his breathing under control despite his racing pulse. From outside came the soft patter of rain and the opening bars of the dawn chorus. Concentrating on that, he followed the trills of birdsong to distract himself from the need to open his eyes and look. He didn’t want the moment to end.

But what did this unexpected tenderness mean? After the blaze of desire that had ignited between them last night, Sam had been quiet and melancholy. Regretful, Nate had assumed. But now?

Another caress, Sam running Nate’s hair through his fingers like he used to years ago. Nate’s heart squeezed. A sigh — the barest whisper of a word on Sam’s lips. “Nate…”

He opened his eyes and Sam froze with his hand poised between them.

Neither spoke. For a long time, they just lay there watching each other, the steady patter of rain the only sound in the room. Nate wasn’t sure what he saw in Sam’s eyes — longing or reproach — and before he could decide, Sam turned onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. His skin looked wan in the half-light, tarnished gold curls spilling onto the pillow, a few clinging to his temple. Then, as if he’d reached a decision, he rolled out of bed, stripped off his shirt, and walked naked to wash himself in the basin.

Nate knew he shouldn’t watch but he couldn’t help it; Sam was still glorious, and it had been a long time since he’d seen anyone so fine. But as the morning light washed over the muscles of Sam’s back, Nate caught his breath in horror.

A crosshatch of scars stretched across his skin, raised and knotted in a tell-tale pattern that made Nate’s guts heave. Sam had been flogged.

Christ almighty, Sam had beenflogged.

At first, he couldn’t speak, didn’t have the breath for words, his mind tripping over itself as he tried to understand how this could have happened. To Sam, tohisSam. He pushed up onto one elbow and, dry-mouthed, whispered, “God, Sam, your back…”

Sam stilled. Then, carefully, he reached for his old shirt, using it to dry himself as he turned around. “A memento from Simsbury.” In the rainy light, his eyes were the same color as the dawn, a cool and inscrutable gray. “The first time I tried to escape, they caught me. They chose to make an example.”

Nate opened his mouth, but no words would come. Because men fighting for the same cause as Nate had done this to him, and they’d done it in the name of liberty. They’d done it inNate’sname. And not just to faceless enemies, or saboteurs and spies, but toSam. And if they’d done it to Sam, how many other good Americans had suffered the same fate? It was appalling. His mind shied away from the truth, because if he let himself imagine Sam’s suffering, his pain and fear — His throat tightened, eyes burning. “I’m sorry,” he said roughly. “God, Sam, I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” His voice shook. “Why are you sorry, Nate? It was war. The British were close. Liberty was at stake.”

Nate closed his eyes, marshaling his churning thoughts. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe.”

“Ha!” Sam snorted. “I don’t remember you trying.” He pulled a clean shirt from his valise and flung it over his head, hiding his scarred back. “All I remember is you watching. And that —” His voice cracked, and he said no more.

Through a thick throat, Nate rasped, “If you think Holden would have listened to me that night… Christ, Sam, he already suspected the nature of our friendship. He’d have used anything I said against you. And against me.”

Sam grunted and began to dress in angry silence. Eventually, he ground out, “All you had to do was tell him he was wrong.”

“Sam…” He knotted a fist in his hair. “Allyouhad to do was swear an oath.”

“Lie, you mean.” Sam snarled the words as he pulled a clean shirt from his valise. “Appease the mob to save my skin.”

“It would have kept you safe —”

“There are more important things than safety!” He flung his arms wide, looking like he might have shouted had the hour permitted. “And having the right to think as I choose is one of them. I’m surprised you don’t see that.”

“I do see that.”

“Then why didn’t youdosomething?”

“Because I was afraid!”

He startled himself with that blunt admission, but it was no less true for being blurted out in frustration. Taking a breath, he continued more steadily. “Reed came to fetch me that night — he’d seen Holden’s mob heading for your house. But when I got there, they already had you on your knees. And I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. The British line was so close, and Holden had everyone whipped up into a frenzy. The whole town was terrified.”

“Ofme?” Sam hissed. “Iwasn’t the enemy. I had a different vision of the future, that’s all.”

“But your vision left America enslaved.”

“The devil it did!” Sam’s face flushed as he pulled on his breeches and tucked in his shirt. “I wanted America at the heart of the biggest trading empire the world’s ever known, not crouching alone on the fringes of the world. I wanted Americaleadingthe world.”

“Wewilllead. We’ll lead by example.” Nate scooted to the edge of the bed but didn’t quite have the nerve to reach out. “Sam, we’ll hold up a light for liberty that the whole world will see!”

“Liberty?” Sam spat the word as he slung on his coat, leaving his shirt and waistcoat hanging open, his neckcloth scrunched in one hand. “Your liberty is the tyranny of the mob. Don’t you see? You’ve torn down King George, but King Mob will take his place. And God help anyone who dares argue withthattyrant!”

“It won’t happen, Sam. We’ll —”

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