Page 67 of King's Man

Yet not half so fierce as the pain of regret.

How petty that argument seemed in the wake of this second catastrophe. Yes, Nate had lied. Yes, he’d concealed the truth about his reasons for being in England. And yes, the idea of Nate dragging dissenters from their beds touched Sam on the rawest of nerves.

But he saw things clearer now, the world cast in sharp and brutal relief by the shadow of the hangman’s tree. And he was forced to ask himself what he’d have done had Nate told him the truth that first day at Salter’s. Or before they’d stepped into the chaise together at The Swan. Or at any other time.

Well, he knew the answer. He’d have behaved exactly as he’d done last night, stalking off in a cloud of hurt pride and resentment.

And there would have been no journey to Marlborough Castle. No tender reconciliation. No forgiveness.

No accusation of murder, either. No stinking jail cell, no threat of the noose. Had he walked away from Nate two weeks ago, he wouldn’t be sitting here paying the price for another man’s crime.

But neither would he have held Nate in his arms again, worshiped Nate’s body with his own. Felt his heart overflow with a love that had never died, that had blossomed once more after the darkest and bitterest of winters.

So even facing the gallows, Sam couldn’t regret the last two weeks; they had restored him to life.

No, his regrets took a different turn.

He regretted walking out the morning he’d found the damned letter in Nate’s book. And he bitterly regretted that the last words spoken between them had been words of anger instead of love.

Christ, why hadn’t he given Nate the chance to explain? Why hadn’t he trusted him enough to listen? But the truth was that he’d been expecting Nate’s betrayal all along. He’d been expecting it since the day Nate stormed back into his life, seized his broken heart with both hands, and set about trying put it back together.

A fool’s errand, because Sam's heart was quite irreparable.

Losing his home, his country, his very identity as an American had damaged him beyond healing, rendered him incapable of trusting. No, his heart was entirely broken. And, like a cracked vessel, it was no longer capable of holding tender feelings. So much so that, when Nate had sought him out at the Brewery and offered him his heart, Sam had refused to listen.

He’d thrown Nate’s apology back in his face.

He’d thrown Nate’s love back in his face.

And now that precious gift was lost to him forever.

Chapter Twenty-Four

“Ah,” Talmach said as he opened the door to his rooms. “Feeling better?”

Nate didn’t wait for an invitation and pushed past him into the parlor. Late afternoon sunlight spilled through the window, opened to catch a breeze that rustled the correspondence strewn across the writing table beneath it. Dispatches from home, Nate noted.

He turned to face the colonel. “You had me followed last night. Why?”

Talmach limped back into the room but kept his distance. Perhapshe thought Nate might punch him. Perhaps he might. “Because Hutchinson's mistake at Marlborough Castle nearly cost us the evidence against Farris.” He spread his hands. “Besides, this is for the best. It’s justice of a sort.”

“Of a sort?” Nate’s anger was a slippery thing, barely contained. “Hutchinson is innocent! I saw MacLeod murder that poor man himself. He —”

“MacLeod is necessary. As was my need to divert his suspicion from Farris. Good God, man, he was about to walk away from the whole arrangement —”

“But he’ll hang! Sam will hang for a crime that bastard committed. He’ll — My God.” Nate stared, struck by the cold in Talmach’s eyes. “You don’t care, do you? You don’t care if an innocent man hangs.”

“Well.” Talmach tugged at his cuff. “Is Hutchinson really so innocent?”

“Yes!”

“Damn it, Tanner, the man’s a Tory. We should have hanged them all.”

Nate stared, horrified. “No. That is too far.”

“Is it? You understand the precarious position our nation’s in. Its very survival is at stake. If the Congress can’t control Tories, then whatcanit do? Who will take us seriously in the world if we allow the likes of Farris and MacLeod to undermine the authority of the Continental Congress? We’ll have anarchy: war between the states, rebellion, invasion. These men must be stopped and publicly exposed. An example must be made of them. And we — the agents of the government — must see it done. So, no, it is not too far. There is notoo farwhen it comes to defending our country.”

Nate stared at him and it was as if the world had tilted on its axis and he saw Talmach through Sam’s eyes. Saw himself through Sam’s eyes.

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