Page 64 of No Man's Land

Josef swallowed, and Alex looked up, perhaps conscious of being studied. Smiling, feeling his cheeks heat, Josef nodded towards the medicine cabinet. “You’ve a small pharmacy in there.”

“Necessary, in my line of work.”

“I suppose so. Now, hold still. This will sting.”

Josef was not a trained medic, but he’d helped patch up the walking wounded and knew his way about a bottle of iodine and a field dressing. Jaw clenched, the cords on Alex’s neck stood when Josef started cleaning the wound, and then dressed it, but Alex didn’t make a sound.

Maybe he was right and dressing the wound wouldn’t help, but it made Josef feel better not to have to look at the bloody mess.

“Well done, soldier,” he said, smiling as he patted Alex’s bare shoulder. “Very brave.”

Alex looked up at him. Their eyes met and somehow didn’t let go. Just like Josef’s hand somehow lingered on Alex’s shoulder, the skin feeling smooth and warm beneath Josef’s fingers.

“You should go now,” Alex said softly. “Let me deal with this myself.”

“And you should know me better than that.”

In a shaking voice, Alex said, “I wish… Christ, I wish I had the chance to know you better.”

Josef’s heart twisted, cramping in his chest. “Shut up. You still do.”

“No.” Alex swallowed, his throat working. “No, this is the end for me. I’m—” He cut off abruptly, eyes going very bright. Too bright. He blinked rapidly, but to no avail. Tearsslid from the corner of his eyes, clinging to his lashes. “God,” he whispered, “I don’t want to die.”

And how the fuck do you respond to that?Josef’s own eyes filled. “I’m not going to let you die,” he promised. “I’ll chop your fucking arm off and stop the infection that way if I must, but nobody, including you, is putting a bullet in your stupid head. So, you can just forget about that, all right?”

Alex covered Josef’s hand where it still rested on his shoulder, squeezing hard, saying nothing save the silent plea in his eyes:help me.

With no answer to give, Josef didn’t know what else to do but lean down and kiss him. Alex’s lips tasted salty, like tears, but warm and inviting, and after a surprised moment, he surged to his feet, pulling Josef into his arms, fingers tangling in his hair as he kissed him back hungrily. Desperately.

Josef met his hunger and desperation in equal measure.

They were incandescent with life. It flowed between them, from one to the other in streams of fury and desire. Death hovered over them, an angel’s dark wing, but its shadow only stoked their passion; it burned in defiance of death, in defiance of a world that would hate them for loving each other but love them for dying as heroes.

There were no words; what was there to say? There was only mouth against mouth, skin against skin, pricks straining as they drove each other towards a detonation as fierce as a thermite grenade, leaving them in ashes on the bathroom floor, the horror of Alex’s fate no less stark.

Still gasping for breath, somehow both hot and chill, Josef held Alex in his arms. The tiled bathroom floor was cold against his bare back and arse, but he ignored the discomfort as Alex pressed his face into Josef’s shoulder. He made no sound, but Josef could feel him shaking. Perhaps he was sobbing out his fear and rage, the very feelings Josef felt in his own heart.

“I won’t let it happen,” he promised, stroking Alex’s shoulder and back, his eyes fixed on the white ceiling and the too-bright electric light. “I'm going to save you.”

Alex drew in a shivery breath and said, “Why?”

There were many answers he could have given, plenty of glib remarks or half-truths. But now wasn’t the time for that, so he said, “I suppose I want the chance to get to know you, too.”

At that, Alex lifted his head. “Do you?”

Josef made a gesture with one hand, encompassing them both where they lay on the cold bathroom floor. “Apparently.”

And then, like a miracle, a smile touched Alex’s lips—a sad smile, but warm. Real. “I wish—”

“Shh.” Josef touched a finger to Alex’s lips, then brushed his damp cheeks, drying his tears. “We’ve wasted enough time on sentiment.”

Alex’s smile tilted sideways. “If I recall, you started it.”

“Maybe so,” Josef conceded, finding a smile of his own. “But now you need to tell me how I can help you. Don’t pretend you don’t know.”

A long silence followed as Alex disentangled himself from Josef and sat up. The dressing on his shoulder looked brilliant white under the bathroom light. “There are ways…” he said carefully. “That is, I’ve heard of ways to counteract the bite of a ghoul. Certain remedies...”

Josef sat up too, hope tenuous as spiderweb. “What kind of remedies? Medicine? Where do we get it?”

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