Page 24 of Persuaded

His heart jolted so hard it almost broke a rib.

Sean wasn’t there. Instead, head tipped forward, eyes closed in concentration, Josh played music to break your heart. And his face... Every emotion was written there, every bar, every note of music.

Finn couldn’t move, transfixed. He’d watched Josh play before, knew he was a freakin’ genius, but he’d forgotten. He’dforgotten. Emotion pricked the back of his throat, a stirring of all that old tender yearning. God, how he’d loved this man.

Something of his pain escaped: a growl, a caught breath. Josh looked up, startled, and the music stopped. Finn’s heart stopped with it, the whiplash leaving him breathless.

Josh stared with wide eyes, face draining of color save two flushed points on his cheekbones. “I didn’t know you were—Sean said Wednesday.”

Finn glared at the polished wooden floor. Christ, but he couldn’t stopfeeling. And it was too much. In this room where Josh had broken him, where Finn, humiliated, had begged, it was too much. “Is, uh—?” He ground the words like glass between his teeth. “Where’s Sean?”

“Kitchen.”

And that was that. Finn left, walked with a frantic heartbeat toward the kitchen where he startled Sean, but barely even noticed. Nothing could distract him from his single-minded trajectory toward the refrigerator and a beer.

“Dude?” Sean said.

“Sean.” He flicked the bottle cap into the sink and drained half the beer in one go, eyes closed and seeing nothing but Josh and that fucking piano.

“Ah, okay.Mi casa, su casaand all that, but, um... What the hell?”

Finn swallowed, wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “Got in a day early. Surprise.”

“And you couldn’t call?” Sean stood up slowly from the kitchen table, a wary look on his face.

Finn faked a smile (hey, actor). “That would have ruined the surprise.” Then he laughed. “Man, the look on your face...”

Sean gave an uncertain frown, not quite buying the performance. “Okay...”

“You know how I like to prank you, man.”

“Right,” Sean said. “Because that was hilarious.”

Finn bit down hard on a sigh and changed the subject. “So. Just you and me tonight, huh? That’s nice. A little bro time. It’s been a while.”

Sean’s gaze flicked past Finn’s shoulder into the hallway. He looked guilty. Good.

“I don’t get enough alone time with my kid brother.” Finn stepped in for a hug, thumping Sean on the back to emphasize the point. “This’ll be good. Just like old times, huh?”

“Right. Yeah, you’re right. Just you and me. It’ll be good.” Sean stepped back, an awkward frown on his face. “Ah, listen, Josh is here.”

Finn fixed his smile in place, said nothing.

“Sometimes he comes to play the piano—it was his mom’s and he has to sell it, so... Anyway, sometimes he stays for dinner. But I’ll just tell him—I mean it’s not like he expects to stay...” Sean hesitated, waiting for Finn to back down.

He didn’t. His smile felt so tight it hurt, right down deep in the center of his chest. “I’m sure he’ll understand,” he said and washed down his guilt with another mouthful of beer. “It’s a family thing.”

Turning back to the fridge for a second beer, he ignored Sean’s uncertain frown. Let him think Finn was a selfish asshole. Better that than letting Josh worm his way back under his skin, because he was done with that. He was. And he refused to go back.

* * *

As always, the Thanksgiving pageant was a triumph.

When the audience was ninety-nine percent proud parents they tended to be pretty forgiving. And Joshua loved it, even with all the minor disasters and near misses. A little improvisation in the accompaniment—even on the perpetually out of tune school piano—could compensate for a lot of nervous mistakes, and everyone left the stage smiling. Even Noah Ellis, who’d spent his whole performance watching Joshua mouthing the words of his song for him.

Only at the end, when Liz made him stand up to take a bow—“We could never make this happen without the help of Mr. Newton”—did he notice Finn and Sean at the back of the hall. Sean applauded enthusiastically and Finn smiled at Liz. That must be why they’d come; Liz had invited Finn. Even so, he felt a hollow tug in the pit of his stomach at the sight of him and covered it by sitting down fast and playing the kids offstage.

Afterward, he did his best to avoid them both. Their encounter in the music room had left him shaken, mostly because of the expression he’d glimpsed on Finn’s face—something broken and yearning. He told himself it was just the effect of memory, of Finn seeing Joshua in the very room where he’d hurt him so badly. He knew it couldn’t be more than that. Finn had made his feelings all too clear, after all, and Joshua knew better than to get his hopes up. Hope never ended well.

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