“It’s not pity!” Sean objected. “I like Joshua. He’s smart, and funny in this weird, dry kind of way. I think you’d like him, too, if you made the effort.”
Finn had to swallow and turn back to the beach, blinking behind his sunglasses. Josh was walking again now, heading into the wind. Suddenly, he spread his arms wide and tried to lean into it, as if it might take his weight or lift him into the air.
It made Finn’s chest constrict. He remembered Josh doing that exact same thing on the top of the dunes.
I’m the king of the world!
And suddenly he missed him so bad, missedthatso bad, his throat closed and his eyes burned. And he thought,Just go down there. Just go down there and talk to him. Kiss him. Do something.But then he remembered how it all ended—how Josh chose to end it even when Finn had begged him not to—and he twisted down the cap on his feelings. He couldn’t put himself through that again.
Tejana said, quietly, “You know what? Finn’s right. We don’t want to embarrass him—and maybe it would be weird to spend Thanksgiving with us? He doesn’t know us that well and we’re in his family home...”
“I guess,” Sean conceded, because he’d always listen to Tejana. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“But maybe we should invite him over at Christmas?” she added. “If he doesn’t have other plans.”
Finn closed his eyes behind his sunglasses, but didn’t object. He didn’t have the heart, not if Josh really was alone. “Maybe—” He had to clear the gruff from his voice. “Maybe we could invite Liz and Matt over too?” Like a shield, like armor against his own treacherous heart.
“Oh!” Sean said, running with the idea. “We could have, like, an open house and invite everyone!”
Finn forced a smile. “Yeah, that sounds awesome. Then Josh—Thenno onewould feel awkward.”
And so it was decided.
* * *
Everyone went shopping on Black Friday. Joshua sold three pieces of his parents’ furniture listed on eBay—as well as his mother’s grand piano.
He sighed when the notification came through on Saturday morning. That it should come to this, selling his mother’s piano to pay his father’s debt. He didn’t even know whether it was going to someone who’d appreciate its beautiful mellow tone; the buyer was Sovereign Business and Wealth Management, based out of Los Angeles.
On the plus side, it meant another thirty thousand dollars of the debt paid off. Legally and ethically he couldn’t refuse the sale, so he emailed the buyer his details and asked how theywanted to handle the shipping. It seemed like a long way to send a piano.
After breakfast, he headed up to Sean’s to tell him about the sale, and, he hoped, to spend an hour playing. He tried not to think about it as saying goodbye. That would be stupid and sentimental—but he knew he could be both.
Everything was silent when he arrived, so he let himself into the music room through the French doors. Sean never minded him coming and going, and Finn... Joshua had spent entirely too much time over the last couple of days reliving those few minutes they’d spent together in the car, dissecting Finn’s reason for giving him a ride, remembering the strength of Finn’s grip on his arm. Even now the thought made him shiver and he couldn’t help imagining what might happen if they ran into each other this morning...
Not that it was likely. Knowing Finn, he’d probably still be sleeping.
As soon as he stepped inside he sighed in relief, the familiar scent of wood and polish taking him back to his childhood. A faint image of his mother playing toyed with the edges of his memory and he thought he remembered sitting on the floor here, listening. But memories were tricky things and he couldn’t be sure it was real—it could be something he’d constructed in his own mind. He’d been very young when she died. But whatever its provenance, the image held power. Especially today.
He ran his fingers over the closed lid, the varnished wood warm and smooth, then sat down and relaxed.
After the seven-year estrangement from his family, he knew he could live without the piano. And this, the whole house, was Sean’s now. Everything had changed and the ghosts of his memories, the good and the bad, would soon be swept away. That wasn’t a bad thing, just another ending.
Taking a breath, he opened the lid. He played a few bars of the Chopin he was working on, but he felt like something different today. Instead, he played Skynyrd’s “Tuesday’s Gone,” singing along quietly. The lyrics spoke to him, even if his voice lacked Finn’s rich timbre, and when he finished the first time he played it through again.
Halfway through, Sean interrupted. “Hey, I thought I heard you.”
Embarrassed to have been caught singing, Joshua stopped with his hands resting on the keys. “I hope I didn’t disturb you?”
“No, not at all. I told you, anytime.” He stepped farther into the room. “So, ah, good Thanksgiving?”
He nodded. “Peaceful, yes. And you?”
“Indulgent.” Sean smiled and put a hand to his stomach. “I’m going to need to run a marathon to work off all that turkey.”
“It’s the pie that does it for me,” Joshua admitted. “I have a sweet tooth.”
“Like Finn. He can always eat more pie.”