Page 31 of Persuaded

Joshua knew that, but didn’t comment. “I’m glad you’re here, Sean. I wanted to tell you that I’ve sold the piano. I don’t know how they’re going to handle the shipping, but I’ll let you know as soon as I hear.” He made a face, brushing his fingers over the keys. “The buyer’s in LA. Can you believe it? I can’t imagine there’s not a decent piano on the west coast.”

“Um...” When Joshua looked up, Sean was wearing a confused frown. “Hasn’t Finn spoken to you?”

It took a beat for him to process the question. “Finn? No. About what?”

“The piano...” Sean scratched a hand through his hair. “Uh, Finn bought it.” He leaned back out into the hallway and yelled, “FINN!”

Joshua stared. “Finn bought the piano?”

“I’ll, uh, let him explain...” He stepped out into the hall again and yelled for Finn to get his “lazy ass downstairs.”

Nervous, Joshua got to his feet and closed the piano lid. Why would Finn buy his mother’s piano? He didn’t even play. At least, he hadn’t. The idea that it was some kind of sentimental purchase—that it had something to do with their history—crossed his mind, but he dismissed it immediately. It wasn’t like there were any specific memories around the piano. No good ones, anyway.

As Finn’s footsteps thumped downstairs, Joshua was struck by a terrible idea: had Finn had bought the piano out of spite? To make a point? To take something from Joshua? He felt sick at the thought. Finn might still be angry, but he’d never be so cruel. Would he?

By the time Finn appeared, unshaven and sleepy, Joshua was a knot of tension.

“What do you—?” Finn stopped when he saw Joshua, their eyes meeting in an unguarded moment. For an instant it felt like it used to—an immediate, intense connection—and then Finn tore his eyes away. “Ah, what?” he said to Sean.

“Joshua came to tell us someone bought the piano,” Sean said, arms folding over his chest.

“Oh, right.” Finn nodded and glanced back toward Joshua. “Yeah, I uh—” He rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Liz said that the piano at the school was on its last legs? So I figured, you know...” He licked his lips. “Hope that’s okay with you, man. I mean, I know it was your mom’s.”

Joshua stared, stunned. “You’re—you’re giving an elementary school a thirty-thousand-dollar Steinway concert grand piano?”

Finn looked up, half met his eyes. “You don’t want me to?”

“I—No, it’s your choice. It’s very generous of you. And I’ll enjoy seeing it played there very much—and playing it myself, of course.” He put his hand on the lid, smoothed his fingers overthe wood. “But, Finn, you do know you can buy a very decent upright piano for under three thousand dollars, right?”

Finn shrugged. “Yeah, well, I got this one instead. Liz, uh—she thought it was a good idea.”

“Well.” Joshua wasn’t sure what he felt, but couldn’t shake the idea that Finn might have given him some thought in all this. “It’s very welcome news. I was—I would have been sad to say goodbye to her. The piano.”

Sean grinned. “Yeah, I thought it was a great idea when Finn suggested it. Just wish I’d thought of it!”

Finn scrubbed at the stubble on his jaw. It made him look a little older, but Joshua liked it; Finn wore it well. “I should go take a shower,” he said, mostly to Sean, and turned to leave.

“Finn?” Joshua’s heart fluttered in his throat. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Finn didn’t look at him. “Anything for the kids, right?”

Joshua didn’t answer, but he got the message. Whatever had motivated Finn’s act of generosity, he didn’t want Joshua to misinterpret it as something personal. At least, nothing that pertained to their future. He couldn’t believe it had nothing to do with their past.

And that made him feel warmer than he had in a long time.

He was still nurturing that fragile warmth the next morning, when he got up to rain heavy enough to dissuade even him from his daily run. Instead, he made coffee and toast, lit the wood-burning stove and indulged in a morning on the sofa with his book. The rain beat a comforting tattoo against the windows, louder than the persistent roar of the ocean at the end of the lane, and conjured dangerous memories.

Usually he refused to pander to them, but today he surrendered and let his mind drift back to his first time with Finn in the little trailer on the edge of the estate, the summer storm breaking around them. They’d both been so young, soeager and nervous. It should have been a recipe for disaster, but like everything else that charmed summer it had been perfect. Such love had bloomed between them that day, such joy.

If he closed his eyes he could remember the smell of the rain as they’d run, laughing, across the grass to Finn’s trailer. He could remember the taste of salt on Finn’s skin when he kissed him, the way he’d shivered when Joshua first took him in his mouth—his expression of shock changing to wonder and delight. And he could remember how dazzled he’d felt to have this beautiful man want him, to be able to touch him and see his own desire mirrored in those incredible sea-green eyes.

He remembered the rain on the roof too, rattling down like a curtain keeping them safe from the world as they’d tangled together, burning for release and for each other. Finn had come fiercely, like he always did, wrapped in Joshua’s arms with his face pressed into his shoulder as he spilled hot between them. And Joshua had loved him so much in that moment he’d had to bite his lip to keep from crying.

This is it,Finn had whispered, pressing the promise into Joshua’s skin with warm lips as he’d held him close.You and me. This is it forever.

He’d wanted so much for it to be true, but even then he’d felt the chill of his father’s shadow. In his heart, he’d known it couldn’t last. But, God, how he’d wanted to believe it would.

Joshua let out a breath, opened his eyes and rubbed them with the heel of his hand. Enough. Enough nostalgia; it brought nothing but sorrow. With a determined breath, he reached for his book and took a sip of his cooling coffee. The weather didn’t relent and he was glad of the excuse to stay right where he was, cocooned by the sound of falling rain.

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