Page 4 of Persuaded

The gravel crunched beneath his boots and he sucked in a cold, damp breath as he slowed down. The rain had stopped, but everything dripped and the air was ripe with the loamy scent of grass and rotting leaves. A lump rose in his throat, taking him by surprise. But he supposed thishadbeen home once, despite everything, and it was lost to him now. Whatever happened from this day on, he’d never be able to go home—even if he wanted to.

“Joshua?”

Sighing, he turned to find Aunt Ruth picking her way across the gravel in high heels. She looked ridiculous and out of place in her metropolitan chic. “I have to go,” he said.

“But are you alright? I mean about the brother moving here.”

He swallowed hard but didn’t feign ignorance. He didn’t want to talk about it, though.

Ruth tipped her head, touched his shoulder. “Oh, Joshua, still? It’s been eight years, darling. I’d have thought—”

“I’m fine,” he said, looking away from her concerned gaze. “It’s fine.”

“I’m surehewon’t come here,” she said, lowering her voice as if Michael might overhear. As if he’d care, even if he knew. “I’m sure you won’t have to see him.”

Joshua shook his head. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see Finn Callaghan again—he did. But he was afraid that Finn wouldn’t want to seehimagain, and he didn’t know whether he could handle how much that would hurt. “He’s probably forgotten all about me.”

“But you haven’t forgotten him.”

“No.” He dipped his eyes to the driveway, the gravel damp and glistening. “No, I don’t suppose I ever will.”

She squeezed his arm, more hesitant than she’d been eight years ago. Then she’d been so sure, so convinced she knew what was right—for him, for the family. Even for Finn. “I know it was difficult,” she said, fingers biting into his arm, “but I still believe you made the right decision. To give up everything you had—your education, your place in the business, your home—for...for a summer romance, Joshua? And with aman. It would have been foolish.”

Pressing his lips together, he resisted telling her that he’d long ago come to believe that there was nothing wrong with a little foolishness. But he’d learned that lesson too late and he couldn’t blame Ruth for having been cautious. She’d tried to do her best for him, tried to fill the gap his mother’s death had left behind.

“I understand,” he said, offering her the best smile he could muster. “And at the time, staying did feel like the responsible thing to do. But I—I suppose, given how things turned out, I wish I’d made a different choice.”

“How things turned out?” She dropped her hand from his shoulder.

He shrugged. “Well, look at me...” No direction, no ambition, and no career beyond a little peripatetic music teaching—certainly not the glittering future everyone had assumed would follow his Harvard MBA. No money, thanks to his father cutting him off when he finally came out, a year after ending things with Finn. And, while less pressing, no less disheartening, no relationship. Joshua remained chronically single.

“There’s still time,” Ruth said, encompassing his failure at life in one platitude. “Your life’s not over at thirty-one, you know.”

But he couldn’t agree with her optimism; his life had ended eight years ago—the day he chose his family over Finn Callaghan.

The day Finn walked out of his life and never looked back.

Chapter Three

Joshua had Matt Howard’s piano lesson that afternoon. Not especially gifted, Matt worked hard, which, in Joshua’s experience, counted for much more than talent.

“Just keep up the practice,” he said, when Liz arrived to collect her son. “Half an hour a day works miracles.”

Liz smiled and sent Matt out to wait in the car, hanging back with a strange awkwardness. Liz wasn’t often uncomfortable and she and Joshua had worked together at the school since he’d returned to New Milton a couple of years ago—they were friends, he’d thought. But today she was fiddling with her dark hair, pulling it all over one shoulder in a way that made Joshua wonder what on earth she was about to say. Did she want to cancel Matt’s lessons? He’d miss the income, of course, but—

“So I heard about the house.” Her smile hovered somewhere between sympathy and embarrassment. “I heard it sold.”

Ah.Joshua let his gaze wander out the window to where Matt leaned against the car, waiting. “Yes, that’s right.”

“It’s not gossip. I mean, it’s not that people are talking about it. I just heard from Dee that the Realtor had been in for lunch...” Her face turned pink and she grimaced. “Okay, I guess it is kinda gossip, but we mean well. I just—I figure it must be hard for you to see the place sold, even if you’re at odds with your family.”

He considered his answer. In fact, the sale of the house distressed him less than the idea of Sean Callaghan owning it, of Finn visiting New Milton, of them meeting again. But he couldn’t tell her that. Aside from his father, the only personwho’d ever known about his relationship with Finn was Ruth and it was a secret she’d thought best kept. At this point, he agreed. So he just said, “I’m fine. I haven’t considered Hanworth to be my home for a long time.”

“Still. I just wanted you to know that we’re thinking about you.” He must have looked surprised because she laughed. “Youdohave friends here, you know, Newt. And if you ever need anything...”

“A new family?” he suggested wryly and Liz widened her eyes in concern. “Joke,” he assured her. “But thank you, Liz. I appreciate you thinking about me.”

She put a reassuring hand on his arm. “I mean it. We’re on your side, Newt. And don’t you forget it.”

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