Page 40 of Persuaded

Joshua glanced across the room. Finn was laughing at something Liz had said and the only indication he wasn’t as relaxed as he appeared was the way his knee jumped up and down.

It was possible, Joshua supposed, that the gloves came from Sean and Tejana, but he doubted it.You need some gloves. Finn had said those very words the night of the carol singing, right before it started snowing. Right before he’d choked out Joshua’s name like it still hurt.

He ran his thumb over the leather and told himself, again, it didn’t mean anything. Whatever Finn might feel for him now—and Joshua liked to imagine his resentment had softened—it was all for what they’d once had, not what they might have again. And he supposed that was closure, something that would help him move on at last.

A howl of laughter pulled him from his musings and he realized he’d missed the start of the game. Sean was laughing ashe explained something about a first date that had Tejana in fits. “You never told me that,” she gasped. “Oh my God!”

Joshua smiled and willed the hands on the clock to move faster.

When his turn came around, he chose truth. Ali had dared Lexa to three tequila shots, and now Lexa was regarding Joshua with a devilish light in her eyes. He really couldn’t afford to get drunk tonight.

“Truth?” Lexa repeated, stroking her chin Bond-villain style. “Okay, Newt... Who was your first love?”

And crap. He shook his head and didn’t dare look at Finn, his cheeks flushing. “I, uh...”

“C’mon,” Lexa wheedled. “You chose truth, Newt, you gotta answer.”

Okay, fine. He could lie. No one would know—no one but Finn. “He was, um, he was—” Except he couldn’t think straight and Finn’s gaze was burning a hole in the floor as a strange and sudden stillness descended on the room. “He was just passing through,” Joshua finished lamely.

The silence didn’t end, not even to protest his nonanswer. He looked at Lexa who stared back at him with wide eyes. “Newt...” she hissed. “Did you—? Did you justoutyourself?”

He blinked, confused. “What?”

“You said ‘he.’ You said, ‘Hewas just passing through.’”

Joshua glanced around the room. Some people were smiling, others looking awkward. Finn still stared at his feet. “Um,” Joshua said, “I’m sorry. I thought you all knew I was gay.”

Lexa threw up her hands. “How would we know? It’s not like you’ve ever had a boyfriend! Or, like, adate.”

He gave a helpless shrug. “I just assumed. I mean, it’s half the reason my father threw me out in the first place. I thought—I thought everyone knew that.” He gave a tentative smile. “Really?Noneof you knew?”

Dee’s hand gripped his shoulder. “Newt, you’re a sweetheart, but you’re like a freakin’ clam the way you keep yourself closed up. But everyone’s cool with it.” Her gaze roamed the room. “Right?”

“Totally!” Sean jumped in. “Of course. Not an issue, man.”

“I’d totally guessed anyway,” Liz crowed, drunkenly loud. “Didn’t I, Finn? I told you I thought Newt was gay.”

Finn flushed, shuffling his feet, and Joshua couldn’t keep from laughing at the ridiculous situation. “Right,” he said, changing the subject before anyone realized he still hadn’t answered the question. “So, um, I guess it’s my turn?” He turned to Ali. “Truth or Dare?”

She snorted. “Can’t top your truth, Newt, so I’d better go for dare!”

He dared her to keep her hand in Sean’s back pocket for the next five minutes and used the ensuing chaos to escape to the kitchen. The dark picture window reflected the room back to him. Walking closer he rested his forehead against the cold glass and peered out into the night.

It wasn’t every day he accidentally came out to a room full of people without intending to be in the closet in the first place. It might have been funny if it hadn’t been so pathetic. He’d never tried to hide his sexuality after his father cut him off, but apparently he’d shut himself away so effectively that no one knew even the most basic thing about him.

He let out a breath and watched it fog the glass. Through it, the snow glowed in the reflected kitchen light and beyond the garden stretched the vast black ocean. He toyed with the idea of walking out onto the cliff to watch the stars, but it was too cold and—

“Josh?”

He jumped at the sound of Finn’s voice. Turning around, he pressed a palm against the icy window behind him. Finn hoveredin the doorway and glanced over his shoulder before taking a few steps into the kitchen. He fiddled with a knife sitting next to a half-eaten pumpkin pie on the table. “You, um, you okay?”

Although touched by Finn’s concern he tried not to take it to heart. “I’m fine. Just—kinda embarrassed no one knew. Guess my life really is that boring.”

Finn gave a distracted nod and took another step closer. “I didn’t know your dad threw you out.”

“No. Well, how would you?”

“When—?” Finn frowned at the table, tapped the knife to set it spinning. “I mean, when did it happen?”

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