Page 44 of Persuaded

A confusing flicker of a smile touched Finn’s lips as they headed for the door. “Surprised your rust bucket even runs in this weather,” he said. “You should drive one of your old man’s cars.”

“They aren’t his cars anymore,” Joshua pointed out, shivering as they stepped into the cold. He still hadn’t fully warmed up from his dip in the sea. “Besides, I haven’t taken a penny from him since he threw me out and I don’t plan on starting.” Finn fixed him with a steady look, but said nothing, and Joshua nodded towards the far side of the parking lot. “We’re over there.”

They drove back in silence. Finn stared out the passenger window and Joshua spared him a couple of looks, but didn’t try to make him speak. Whatever they might have to say to each other, this wasn’t the time.

But as they turned off the highway into New Milton, Finn looked over at him. “Thanks for keeping it together on the beach, Josh. I was—Don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

“Of course.” Joshua swallowed and tried to keep his heart from racing too fast. The warmth in Finn’s voice felt like heat against his skin.

“When I saw her go under, I just—” He blew out a shaky breath. “Christ.”

The lights on Main Street turned red and Joshua stopped, the town silent and empty around them. “Are Liz’s parents going to collect Matt?”

“Yeah, in the morning. He can stay with me and Sean tonight.”

“Matt’s a sensible boy.” Joshua hesitated, then plowed on. “But if you like, I could tell him what’s happened? I know him pretty well.”

A flash of relief crossed Finn’s face, gone in an instant as he frowned down at his hands. “No, I should do it. It’s on me.”

Joshua wasn’t sure whether Lexa had been exaggerating when she told the paramedic that Finn and Liz were practically engaged, but Finn was certainly taking his responsibility to her son seriously. It hurt, but in a good way; Finn was still the caring man he’d always been. Joshua’s betrayal hadn’t broken that, at least.

Once they were through the town, it only took a few minutes to reach Hanworth Hall. Pulling into the driveway, Joshua came to a stop right in front of the house. He killed the engine and the silence between them suddenly felt obtrusive.

Finn didn’t make any effort to get out of the car, he just sat staring through the windshield with his hands in his lap. Joshua pulled the keys from the ignition, undid his seat belt, and searched for something to say. He came up wanting. Finn’s distress and Liz’s injury superseded all his petty feelings of loss and envy. He was about to tell Finn to go inside when Finn crumpled. He just folded forward, head sinking into his hands. “God, Josh, how do I do it? How do I tell Matt that I did this to his mom?”

“You didn’t do anything to her.” Joshua’s chest tightened at the pain in Finn’s voice. “Finn, Liz is a grown-up. She’s the one who—”

“Iinvited her here.Ilet her show off. And she wouldn’t have done any of it if I hadn’t made her think I—” His voice dropped to a desolate whisper. “Now I’ve got to tell her kid that they need to open his mom’s skull, and if it doesn’t work he might loseher.” His fingers fisted in his hair. “We both know what it’s like to lose your mom. How do I tell him, Josh? I don’t know how.”

“Hey, it’s alright.” Before Joshua knew what he was doing, his hand was on Finn’s back. They both stilled, Finn’s muscles tensing beneath Joshua’s touch before gradually relaxing. Joshua let his thumb move backward and forward over the ridge of Finn’s shoulder blade, the feel of him familiar even after their long estrangement. God, how he’d missed him. “I’m sure she’s going to be okay. Everything will be okay.”

Finn leaned into him, just enough that their shoulders touched. “Shit,” he whispered. “I’ve fucked everything up.”

“No.” With a pounding heart Joshua risked sliding his arm further across Finn’s back, drawing him closer. “Finn, none of this is your fault.”

He sighed, so close Joshua felt it against his neck. “Isn’t it?”

“No. It’s—” His breath caught as Finn’s lips grazed the bolt of his jaw in not-quite-a-kiss, one tentative hand settling on his thigh.

“Josh...”

Oh God. OhGod, what was this? He lifted a shaking hand to the back of Finn’s neck. “Shhh,” he said, stroking his warm skin, closing his eyes against the want in his heart. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” Finn’s voice cracked as he pulled him closer. “Josh, please...”

His need, his scent, his heat were overwhelming and Joshua’s body responded, surging to life like a desert after the rains. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to feel Finn’s lips against his own again, he wanted to taste his skin. And Finnneededhim—Joshua could feel it vibrating through his shoulders, hear it in his quick, shallow breaths. Finn needed him and there wasn’t enough caution left in Joshua’s heart to resist, not when he’d dreamed of this for so very long. “It’s okay,” he whispered again,pressing their foreheads together in helpless surrender. “I’ve got you.”

With a harsh sob, Finn surged forward, covering Joshua’s mouth with his own in a clash of lips and teeth that flashed heat across every inch of Joshua’s skin. In the past, they’d been so tender with each other, but not tonight—tonight there was only need, brutal and brittle, as Finn knotted his fingers into Joshua’s hair and dragged fierce, urgent kisses across his skin. The only sound in the car was their harsh breathing, the frantic rustle of clothing, until Finn growled something unintelligible and snaked an arm around Joshua’s waist, hauling him half onto his lap.

The steering wheel dug into Joshua’s hip but he didn’t care. He took Finn’s face in both hands and held him still, drinking in the sight of him as if he were something from a dream—he could hardly believe this was real, feared it would be snatched away upon waking. Wanted it so desperately he could hardly breathe. In the half light of the night, Finn was all shadows and angles, beautiful and tormented, his eyes closed and kiss-swollen lips parted. And then his face twisted into a frown of distress and Joshua kissed him hard, licking deep into his mouth, losing himself in the moment, letting desire sweep away everything but the heat.

Finn gave a low, anguished moan as his hands ranged over Joshua’s back, sliding down to massage his ass through his jeans in delicious counterpoint to the slow, rolling rhythm of their hips. But Joshua needed more. More skin, more Finn. He was already hard, Finn’s thigh pushing up between his legs and his hips rocking helplessly against Finn’s stiffening cock. Fuck, Joshua wanted him. He wanted to tear aside his heavy clothes and feel him skin-to-skin, sweat-slick and hot like he remembered. But he didn’t dare break the kiss, certain that if they slowed this wild flight they’d fall back to Earth.

“God, Josh,” Finn gasped, breathing the words against his lips. “Josh, I—”

Light spilled across the drive, the front door swinging wide open. Finn jolted like he’d been shot, pushing Joshua away and wiping his ravaged mouth on the back of one shaking hand. His rejection stung so hard Joshua had to grip the steering wheel with both hands to keep from gasping out loud.

Sean loped down the steps. “Thank God,” he said, hauling open the passenger door. “Finn, you okay?”

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