Page 48 of Persuaded

Finn cupped his hands around his mug, using the heat to focus his thoughts. He still felt drunk, but was lucid enough to know what he was saying. “It’s not just about Liz.” His voice sounded thin but he couldn’t seem to make it any louder. “There’s... There’s someone else.”

Sean let that sit for a beat and then cautiously said, “Okay...” In his peripheral vision, Finn saw him scratch a hand through his hair. “Uh, someone in New Milton?”

He nodded.

“Not—It’s not Lexa, is it?”

“Christ! Of course not.”

“Thank God.” Sean gave a nervous laugh. “But... Dude, you gotta let me in. What the hell’s going on with you? You’ve been acting weird for...for weeks.”

He shouldn’t say anything. What was the point? He should just hop a flight back to LA and never come back. Neverlookback. But this thing in his chest, this ache, had been there for so damn long and he was sick of holding it inside. Sick of nobody knowing. And this wasSean. If he couldn’t tell his own brother, then who could he tell?

He glanced up, saw nothing but bemused concern in Sean’s eyes. “I—You remember that summer I spent here, right after Dad died?”

“Sure. Well, I was in LA, but—” Understanding dawned. “Wait. The girl? The girl who broke your heart that summer is still here?”

“Kinda.” He gave a nervous laugh, his stomach a snarl of tension. “It’s—You’re not gonna believe this.”

“Why don’t you try me?”

Finn pressed his fingertips to the table to steady himself. “Okay, so, uh, the thing is, it was Josh.”

Silence stretched between them, long and breathless. Finn kept his eyes on his hands.

“Josh was—?” Sean sounded like he was running to catch up. “Joshwas the girl? Are you saying he’s trans—”

“No.” He looked up. “Josh wasn’t a girl, dude. I’m telling you I’m gay. Or bi, I guess. Whatever.”

Sean stared. “Okay, well, that’s... I mean, it’s cool. I just—” He frowned. “Really?”

“Really? Do you mean, am I sure?”

Sean spread his hands. “You’ve had alotof girlfriends, man. And I’ve never seen a single boyfriend. Unless—” He narrowed his eyes. “Have you been hiding your boyfriends from me? Why would you do that? You gotta know I’d be one-hundred percent cool. You’re my brother, Finn. I’ve always got your back.”

Finn rubbed a hand over his lips, the coffee making his mouth taste bitter. “It’s not like that. I mean, there haven’t been any other boyfriends. Not really.”

“Not really?”

“A couple of hookups.” His skin prickled under Sean’s gaze. “But I couldn’t—It’s easier with women; they don’t remind me of him. I couldn’t... I just couldn’t get involved with another guy.”

A long pause followed before Sean spoke again, and when he did his voice was painfully earnest. “But why didn’t yousaysomething? You acted like you’d never met him when we got here.”

“I was—I was still pissed at him.”

“After eightyears?”

Finn gave a helpless shrug.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

Another pause. “And what about Josh? How does he feel about things?”

“He, uh—I dunno.”

Sean’s disapproval radiated like heat. “Because you haven’t talked to him about it, have you?”