Page 60 of Persuaded

Michael and Isabelle stared at him, frozen midway through letting the maid help them on with their coats.

“Whatever’s the matter?” said Ruth.

He couldn’t smile, he couldn’t explain, he couldn’t do anything until he found Finn. Clutching the music in his hand, he ran to the door and shoved his feet into his boots.

“Mr. Newton,” said the maid, “I’ll fetch your coat—”

“Doesn’t matter.” He hauled open the front door and ran to the elevator, jabbing at the button. It took forever to come—probably because Finn was still on the way down—and Michael and Isabelle had joined him by the time the doors opened.

He had no attention for them, didn’t care whether they were looking at him or exchanging disparaging glances. All he could think about was Finn. He read the note again as the elevator dropped, his stomach swooping right along with it.

I love you—let me show you how much.

But there was so much crap between them now, was love enough?

“I hope you’ll be on your best behavior tomorrow night,” Michael murmured as the doors opened, “I don’t want Dad to...”

Joshua didn’t hear the rest; he was already running past the concierge and through the revolving doors into the snow. It was falling hard, visibility terrible, but good enough that he could see the lights of a cab stopped at the curb and Sean pulling open the door. Tejana and Finn crowded behind him.

“Wait!”

Finn spun around and went still. The world went still. Snowflakes brushed against Joshua’s face, against his lips, as his gaze locked with Finn’s. Behind him, Michael cursed the weather, but he was far away in a different world. Deep down, bone deep, Joshua started trembling. It had nothing to do with the cold. Finn walked toward him, stopping a foot away and blinking through the snow, hands jammed into his pockets and everything about him drawn tight. When he swallowed, Joshua saw his throat work.

“Michael!” Sean called. “You want to share a cab?”

People moved around him but all he could see was Finn watching him from beneath his lashes like he could hardly bear to look.

“Do you...?” Joshua clutched the note in his fingers and Finn’s gaze dipped toward it and back. “Do you want to go for a drive?”

Finn let out a helpless choke of laughter. “In this weather?”

“I’ve got new tires.”

Behind Finn, the cab pulled away from the curb, leaving them as alone as they were ever going to be in New York City. “You—you’ve got snowflakes on your eyelashes,” Finn said, and lifted a hand to brush them away.

Joshua smiled, feeling reckless. Feeling wild. “Come on.” He grabbed Finn’s hand, the touch making his chest tight, and led him down to the garage. “I want to go home.”

Chapter Fifteen

Once they were headed toward the coast, weak winter sunlight broke through the clouds to paint the world in fragile colors.

Finn felt fragile too, like his heart might beat out of his chest.

They were out of the city before Josh started to talk, glancing at Finn with that searching expression that had first captured him. He said, “I thought maybe I’d been an experiment.”

Finn shifted around to see him better. “What?”

“A ‘gay phase.’” He put air quotes around the words.

“Hands on the wheel!” Love of his life or not, Josh was still a terrible driver.

A little frown of irritation formed between Josh’s eyebrows. Finn had always adored it and his stomach fluttered; fuck, he was so gone on Joshua Newton. “I mean,” Josh said, keeping his eyes fixed on the road, “that I wondered whether Ruth was right about you.”

“Your aunt?”

He gave a careless shrug. “She—that summer, she said you’d probably dump me because actors couldn’t afford to be gay.”

“I told you I didn’t care about—”

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