Page 20 of Warrior

When he walks me to the door at the end of the night, guilt is rooting around in my chest, burrowing into the muscle and flesh, threatening to flay me alive.

“I don’t blame you for hating me, Colt,” Dad finally says, his eyes glancing at mine. “I fell apart when Alex died and then your mother. I know the mistakes I made, but my biggest regret is the way I let you leave that night. I never should have raised my hand to you. That’s not how a parent should treat his child.”

“It’s in the past, Dad.” I shake my head, fearing the burning in my eyes.

“Be that as it may, you and I both know I have a lot to make up for. I don’t expect to just become a part of your life again, but I do hope you might want to stop by more often. This was the best night I’ve had in years. Both my boys,” he tells me, his eyes burning brightly into my own.

“I can’t believe how grown up he is.” I nod back to the house.

“I can’t believe how grown up both of you are,” he chuckles. “I’m proud of you, Colt. You scared the living shit out of me with your decision to enlist, but I respect it. It took me a long time to realize my own fears were normal. I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost you, too.”

“You have AJ.” I shrug, trying to push the emotions away that his words are stirring up. I am nothing to be proud of. My enlistment came on the heels of my biggest disappointment and then I hurt the one person who loved me above all else.

“AJ is AJ. You are you. I love you both,” he replies, voice gruff, and I swear he may cry too.

“Let me know when you make that chicken masala again. I’ll make the time.” My hand clasps his shoulder and he nods. A small tear falling down the stubble of his cheek before he wipes it away.

“You staying in town tonight?”

“Probably crash at Zane’s after we go out,” I tell him. I see him grimace. “What?”

“Ah, it’s probably nothing.” His hand rubs the back of his neck. “Just stay out of the park, maybe.”

“Okay.” I laugh it off, giving him a final wave before getting in my truck. One look in my rearview and I can see him still standing outside watching the vehicle drive away. I don’t know how it makes me feel. Everything that happened tonight conflicts with what I’ve believed for the past eight years. Time might wash away the hurt, but the memories will still be there. I can forgive him for falling apart, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to let it all go.

I pull my phone out to call Zane and let him know I’m on the way and we end up talking about how dinner went.

“How did things end?” Zane asks, laughing with me about how bizarre this night turned out.

“He told me to avoid the park,” I chuckle again. After a beat, I realize Zane isn’t laughing with me. “Z, what’s up?”

“Ahhh...” He sighs into the phone. “Look something happened after we left. I only know because my mom wrote to me about it on one of my deployments. It’s about Lyric, Colt.”

Now he has my full attention. I sit up farther in my seat. “What about her?”

“You know your tree? The one you carved your initials in?”

“Yeah,” I tell him. “I remember.”

“She hacked the thing apart. Broad daylight, just took an axe to the whole trunk. City fire department had to come in and use a chainsaw to take it out before it became a hazard.”

I hear his words even as the buzzing in my ears grows louder. I can’t picture my Lyric doing that. That was our spot. The place I asked her to be mine, where I first told her I loved her. Lyric was always sentimental; I just can’t picture it, her doing that to our tree.

“You left her a mess, man. I will always regret that we didn't tell her the real reason you enlisted.” Zane’s words slip out slowly.

“You and me both,” I answer before hanging up. Zane’s confession is tearing me apart. I don’t feel like partying tonight. I can’t think about being around anyone. My time with Lyric flashes in my mind, replaying like a movie trailer, and each frame is another punch to the gut. It ends with that look she gave me that day. I hear her words accusing me of sleeping with that other girl. I didn’t. I would never have cheated on Lyric, or slept with someone else so soon after. I broke up with her to push her away and let her believe it all the same. In my mind at the time, I just needed a reason to get her to walk away from me. I can still see the pain amplified in her blue eyes while tears trailed down her cheeks when I got my wish. I did that to her. I ruined the girl I loved.

It becomes clear I need to get the fuck out of this town. All the good I felt by being at home is now replaced with the feeling I’m being stabbed by a knife in my chest. My fingers quickly pull my cell phone out and I call the one number I’ve been thinking about all night.

“Street,” he answers on the second ring.

“Tric had things he wanted his father to know. I won’t sit here and pretend that at the end of his life he didn’t care about his family because he did. Even though none of you deserved it or him, he still planned to come back when he was discharged.” I practically seethe down the line.

There’s a pause before a long exhale follows. “You know where the clubhouse is?”

“I thought we weren’t allowed there?”

“Family is always welcome, kid. You’re Tric’s family.”

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