Page 28 of Replay
Talk to Jax.
Break up with Jax gently and ask to still be friends.
Apologize to Isla about the stalker comments.
Set the record straight with Hawke and let him know I wasn’t in a space to start dating right now.
All of that was blown to bits before I even made it to my first class yesterday. Hawke showing up with my go-to breakfast and drink simultaneously had butterflies swooping in my stomach followed by a wave of guilt. People noticed. I gained even moreattention when my lunch showed up and my afternoon coffee between classes was also brought to me. The whispers started right away.Isn’t she dating Jax? Did you hear what happened at the party? He cheated on her, so she kissed Hawke.
At least this is college though, not high school, so most of the gossip also included girls high-fiving me for locking lips with Hawke Sheppard. If only they knew I had helped him perfect his kissing skills back when he was seventeen. The downside of this being college is that there are mature adults and even though I was applauded, there was also the lingering…Isn’t she moving on too fast?
It felt like there was no right thing to do in the situation and I wanted to scream by the end of the day. My plan had been to go home right after practice until I saw Hawke there, waiting for me again. I barely hesitated before caving and letting him drive me home. Then I cried and broke down in his truck. Even thinking about it today makes me embarrassed, but also crazily turned on from when he told me he was never going to leave me alone.
Those words shouldn’t make me happy, but they do. The broken girl I was when he left craves those words. Unfortunately for her, I’m not so quick to buy it this time. No matter how gooey and soft his piercing green eyes make me feel, I need to think things through and remind myself of the promises I made when he walked away.
By the time practice is over, my legs are burning and my feet are turning numb. I can barely shuffle from the showers to my locker without Riley or Sam looking at me worriedly.
“I’m fine.” I wave them off and they finally leave. I’m third to the last in the locker room now, and once I’m dressed, I give myself a mental pep talk before approaching the one person I’ve been the most nervous to talk to.
“Hey, Isla.” I wave my hand, and she freezes for a moment, glancing around the room quietly, her clear blue eyes observing everything.
“I’m guessing you have questions about the pictures?”
My shoulders deflate. “I mean, I do, but that's not why I was hoping to talk to you.”
She hesitates. “Okay. Here?”
I glance around, taking in how creepy this might actually be. “Ah, yeah this is weird. Want to grab a smoothie?”
She smiles, it’s soft, and I’ve never noticed before how nice and pretty she is. I feel even worse for what was said about her in high school and how much I’ve avoided her, even in college. She didn’t deserve it then and she doesn’t now.
Isla and I walk to the little coffee shop that caters to students and athletes who are up late studying. She comments about the weather and I hate that she's my teammate and I know barely enough about her to make her feel comfortable. We order at the counter and right as we sit, I feel my phone vibrate. My eyes glance down and my heart stills. Jax’s name flashes on the screen.
“If you have to go, I understand,” Isla says, and I can tell she means it just by looking at her.
“No, he can wait. He’s ghosted me for days now. I should be the one mad, but he needs time,” I answer, rolling my eyes. She laughs lightly.
“Look, I’m sorry this is sudden and if it's weird, I apologize,” I tell her, sitting up in my chair, my smoothie tucked between my hands. “Thank you though.”
“You’re thanking me for sending the evidence that ruined your relationship?” Her brow rises and she takes a small sip of her hot chocolate. We both laugh.
“There wouldn’t have been a relationship if I had known this,” I tell her, shaking my head. “Jax knew it, that's why he kept it a secret.”
She nods, biting her lip. “I didn’t know I had captured it. At the time, Jax wasn’t my focus and you weren’t dating officially, so I didn’t even think about using it.”
“Using it? Carter, you mean?” My voice drops low, and I try to speak gently. “I’m not judging, Isla, please don’t think that's why I’m asking.”
Her head drops down, her long dark hair cascading around her like a curtain. “I know what he thinks about me. I’ve known for years. I’m not doing what I’m doing to hurt him, I swear. I–I just do it to make sure he doesn’t get hurt.”
“Then what about me? This? With the picture and giving it to Hawke.” My voice trails off as I try to understand where she’s coming from. Once again, I feel like I misjudged her, labeling her as creepy, instead of learning about where her care and focus on Carter comes from.
“You’re his friend. I didn’t want you to get hurt. That might affect him too. Plus, I’m good friends with Riggs’s cousin who happens to be friends with Hawke’s brother, Falcon. It’s weird, I know, but we were in middle school together before I moved to Crimson Bay,” she answers, her fingers fidgeting with her cup.
“I didn’t know that,” I respond, honestly. “Yikes, it's never easy to move right before high school.”
Her shoulders shrug and I realize for the first time how petite she is. Her speed on the ice rivals with Riley’s, and my bestie can fly. Isla plays defense and I can’t believe I never once sat and talked with her.
“I liked All Saints,” she says, then frowns, “well, most of the time.”
