Page 3 of Replay
“Clear.”
I lock the main door and almost collapse against it. “Hawke is here. He’s wearing a suit.”
My best friend’s eyes widen. “Hawke Sheppard? The ex?”
A laugh escapes me. “The very one.”
“What a dick. Want me to go out there and punch him?” Sam pulls out her phone and the Facetime ringtone starts playing.
“I might take you up on that,” I respond right as our other best friend’s face fills the screen.
“What's going on?” Riley’s face is full of concern. Instantly my eyes start to water and I can feel my cheeks turning pink with embarrassment just thinking about what happened outside the building.
“The ex is back,” Sam answers for me and Riley’s mouth drops open. For the hundredth time today I wish we were all together for our senior prom. At the beginning of the school year Riley had been offered a scholarship to go to All Saints Academy and play hockey. Even though we didn’t want her to leave us or our team as she had been a captain, Sam and I knew that the opportunity for Riley was too good to pass up. Her talent on the ice alone deserved to be seen at a higher level.
“He brought a date toyourprom?” she practically screams. My lips twitch.
I shake my head no. “He came here and waited outside to talk to me.”
“In a suit!” Sam adds, her eyes big while she shakes her head. “I think he picked up manipulation notes from your man, Ril.”
Riley laughs and the noise carries in the bathroom. Her boyfriend Reign has been a pain in our asses for years. Until this year, he was Riley’s greatest rival both on and off the ice. Until last summer at camp when he became over the top obsessed with our best friend. “Oh my god. What are you going to do?”
“I ignored him, but what do I do if he tries again?” I ask them both, looking from one to the other. My mind is all over the place and my insides are humming with adrenaline.
“I guess see what he has to say. Maybe there’s more to the story. Or maybe he’s just a selfish ass and realized he lost a good thing. Either way, you owe it to yourself to find out. Then you can let it go for good before leaving for school next fall,” Riley advises, her tone serious and laced with concern.
She’s right. I sometimes wonder if moving on from Hawke would be easier if I had answers. Maybe then I could have the closure his abrupt departure never gave me. I want to go into this summer without feeling sad. I’m looking forward to leaving for college in the fall too. We’re all going to Michigan and nothing makes me happier than knowing I’ll be reunited with my best friends. Sam plans to take some time off from hockey, but Riley and I want to continue playing.
Up until five months ago, I really didn’t have a plan. I had stopped caring and planning when my heart broke. When my future with Hawke fell through, I realized I didn’t know what I wanted or what my future held. I had been prepared to follow him and stick to the plan we made together. That was no longer an option and I was scared. I started applying for scholarships to any school I could think of that boasted a women’s hockey team. By some miracle, I received a scholarship that allows me to attend any university I want. I didn’t hesitate in deciding on Michigan, at the same time my two besties also let it slip that was their plans as well.
“Yeah, okay. You’re right.” I sigh and rub my temples, starting to feel the stress from the unknown.
“Now go have fun! You look beautiful, Em. I’m sure you broke his heart tonight just by breathing.” Riley smirks. She and Sam exchange some more gossip and news about our nights before the call ends. When it's just the two of us again Sam turns to me.
“I can still go throat-punch him if you want,” she volunteers, and I laugh.
Running my hands over my dress, I sigh. “No. Riley has a point. I want closure. I want to go into this next chapter of our lives not holding back or being scared to open my heart again.”
Sam nods her head, her hand gently gripping my arm. “He came to you. It's not like you have anything to lose. Plus, I needmy wing-woman when we hit campus this fall. Lord knows Riley is locked down tight.”
We both laugh. “No truer words, my friend. Alright. I’m going to do it.”
Sam wraps her arms around me, giving me one last hug for encouragement. There's a line outside the door when we leave the bathroom and manage to give a halfhearted apology. I part ways with my friend and head toward the front door again. This could be another stupid mistake. Hell, he might not even be here anymore. That thought stops me cold. I’ve been getting myself worked up and for all I know Hawke could have already tucked his tail and bailed. It's not like I gave him room to hope. It’s been long enough that if I was him, I would have left. My lungs seize and I have to breathe in and out a few times. My fingers tense before reaching for the door handle and yanking it open.
Hawke isn’t where I last saw him, and for a second my stomach plummets. My heart twists and tears burn my eyes. Once again, I feel like my chance was taken away.
“Em?” His voice calls my name softly, and I turn, noticing that he moved closer to the doors and is sitting on the ground, leaning against a pillar. Hawke’s eyes find mine and I notice the red rims around his. “You came back.”
I want to run from him, but my pride keeps me here. Hawke is on my turf. He’s in my town. I have nothing to run from. He broke my heart already and I have nothing left to give. I make myself walk over to him. He stands as I get closer, his hands forming fists at his sides.
Being this close to Hawke after a year takes my breath away. He’s still the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen and I hate that I compare everyone to him. His dirty blond hair hangs forward, and it reminds me of all the times I’d push it back with my hands while kissing him. He’s taller, his shoulders broader and the crisp white shirt he wears looks like it was painted on him.It's not fair. After breaking my heart, he should be as miserable looking as I feel.
My hands shake and my stomach swirls, but I fight through it. “You said you’d explain. I think it's time we both found closure. I want to move on, Hawke. I want the pain to stop.”
The last words out of my mouth break on a sob and it sends him into action. Hawke invades my space, his hands curving around my hips, and his lips touch my forehead lightly. His presence is magnetic and so, so comforting.
“Do you want to talk here? I’m staying at the hotel in town. I’ll go wherever you want, sugar. Tell me what you wanna do.” His voice is husky and pleading. I don’t miss the way his grip on me tightens either, like he’s afraid that I’ll back out at any second.
