Page 5 of Replay
A small smile falls on my lips while I meet her confused gaze. Her eyes are darker, and they shimmer with unshed tears that feel like a punch to my windpipe. My throat hurts when I swallow. God, I just want to reach for her, touch her. “My brother thinks you’re great. He’s sorry for what we’re going through, and how he talked to you when we left. Momma likes you, but she listens to my grandfather, and she sides with him to keep the peace. My grandfather sees you as a distraction, something that jeopardizes my dream. He threatened to hurt you if I didn’t end our relationship. He was going to hurt your family, stop you from getting any chance at a scholarship, if I didn’t cut off contact and leave. I would have told him to go fuck himself, that I could take care of you, but he also threatened momma and Falcon. Told me that they would be cut off financially and left with no support. My trust doesn’t kick in until I turn twenty-one. I can’t take care of anyone until I have that trust.”
She’s quiet and the air between us thickens. Still neither of us speaks. Me, because I have no idea what else to say to make this right. I hate telling her how I had to let her go so that I could keep my family afloat, and to keep hers safe from my grandfather’s reach. I wish I had been stronger back then, but no matter how much thought I put into it the outcome was never in my favor.
“You didn’t want to leave me?” Her voice is soft and full of emotion, and I let my hand reach out to hold hers.
“No.” I shake my head. “I never wanted that.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Her breathing stutters and my heart clenches when I see tears fall onto her cheeks.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart.” I kneel in front of her, my hands cradling her face and wiping her tears with my thumbs. “It was dumb. I thought a break would be easier. I didn’t want my grandfather to know if I told you because I didn’t want him interfering in your life like he threatened. I couldn’t let him hurt you or your family.”
“So what, you were trying to protect me or something? That sounds stupid. It sounds made up.” She huffs.
I watch as she stands from the bed, her arms crossed over her chest, as she paces the room. I’m torn because she looks mad on my behalf, which means she cares, but I don’t want to upset her. My goal was not to make her mad or sad or ruin her night. I just wanted to give her the night we talked about and planned for. I wanted to use this opportunity to set the record straight and let her know that I’m still here, I’m still waiting for her.
“My family has money, Em. My grandfather isn’t scared to use it as a weapon to get what he wants and what he wants is my future paved to the pros. He doesn’t care who he destroys to get me there. That's not a pretty truth, it's not something I’m proud of either. It's just a fact that if you throw a lot of money at the right people, you get what you want. He had information on you, your parents, their jobs, the hockey camps your brothers were planning to go to. My grandfather claimed he had enough to get you blacklisted from colleges. He detailed every way he could ruin your family, make it more difficult for you and them if you continued to be in my life. He told me I had to leave. I had to break up with you and if I did then he would forget about you.”
Emmarys’s arms drop, and the fallen look on her face makes my stomach clench. I hate that she sees how ugly my family really is. Maybe I should have kept it buried and left her alone, but the thought of never seeing her again was killing me.Reaching for this dream, because it is my dream to make it to the NFL too, is not worth it if I lose her forever in the process. All I need is a chance to explain, and a chance to win her back.
A year ago, I convinced myself that I would figure it all out, that I could keep her a secret from my family and have the best of both worlds. I just had to make it until I was twenty-one when my inheritance became mine. Then I could do whatever I wanted, including marrying my high school sweetheart and locking her down anyway I could. Except he found out. He learned Emmarys wasn’t a passing fling, and he believed she was a distraction. He threatened me before I had the opportunity to explain it to her. One day we were in Crimson Bay and the next morning we were at the airport, heading to Georgia. Because I was scared for her, for her family, and for how much she would hate me if she found out my family ruined hers, I let my grandfather scare me away from the girl I love.
“You should have been honest with me, Hawke,” she mutters, her beautiful honey-brown eyes finally coming back to mine. They’re filled with so much concern and confusion that it makes me feel worse.
“I know,” I tell her, getting to my feet and closing the distance between us. “I know I should have. I didn’t want him to suspect how much I love you. I didn’t want him to have any reason to go after you once I left. I just did what he wanted me to do.”
Her head tilts back and her lips part slightly when I place my hands gently on her sides. Fuck me, she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. I bend my neck and set my forehead against hers for a brief second before marking the same space with my lips. I pull her close to me, wrapping my arm easily around her, and our height difference makes it possible to rest my head on hers. “Please forgive me, sweetheart. Please.”
She inhales and her hands land on my sides, her fingers holding onto the dress shirt I borrowed quickly from my brother. “It's been a year, Hawke.”
“This is the first time that I’ve been able to get away, Emmarys, I swear. I promise, I tried. I waited for any opportunity. I think he suspected I was bluffing at first so I let time go by, waiting him out until I was in college, hoping he’d let his guard down long enough for me to sneak out of the state.” My voice is deep to the point I’m practically begging her to believe me, to forgive me. Silence settles between us before I hear her voice, soft, and a little unsure, giving me the three words I need the most.
“I forgive you.”
My head jerks up and I pull away enough so that my hands can slide along her face and I can do the one thing I’ve been wanting to do all night, well for the past year. My lips come down on hers hard, all the patience that I’ve been holding onto tonight releasing while my mouth devours hers. I’ve been fucking pining for this girl for the past year. Being here with her again is better than any memory of us.
She clutches my sides, and my hands move into her hair, over her bare shoulders and down her lower back where I grab her and pull her body harder into mine. I can tell from the little gasping noises she’s making that she can feel exactly what she’s doing to me. My gut clenches, feeling her tits smashed against my chest. My hands slide down farther and grip her ass. Instead of getting shy on me, it only makes her kisses more willing, her aggressiveness matching mine. Every time my tongue slides over hers, she makes a desperate sound that shoots lust and need into my veins.
“Hawke,” she whimpers against my lips, while we both fight for air. I should probably slow down, except having my lips on hers again feels like finding water after being lost in the desert. Itfeels right, like home, and completely life-changing at the same time.
“You taste so good, sweet,” I tell her between kisses. “Fuck, I missed you.”
“I need you,” she moans into my mouth, and I can’t help myself, I suck on her tongue, which makes her knees weak.
“I need you too, Em,” I groan, and my hands move up to the top of her dress and close around the zipper. “Tell me you want this.”
Her eyes open and I’m mesmerized by the warm, caramel pools of color looking up at me. “I want you.”
Her words undo me. My lips are on hers again while tugging the zipper on her dress down, exposing the softest skin I’ve ever felt, before shoving the material to the ground. The sight in front of me is absolutely the best form of torture: Emmarys Lawson with no bra on and just a thin, lacey thong the same color pink as her dress was.
“So beautiful,” I groan and place a kiss on her forehead, her cheek, and her jaw. Emmarys pulls back, her dark eyes flashing with something I can’t name.
“I doubt I’m the most beautiful you’ve had.” There’s no heat to her words but the look she gives me borders between pain and embarrassment.
My brows scrunch in confusion while I sit on the edge of the bed and guide her body so she's standing between my legs. “I promise you, Emmarys, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
“You don’t have to lay it on that thick, Romeo,” she scoffs, but there’s hurt in her eyes when she looks away from me.
My insides freeze and I gently take her chin in my fingers, bringing her focus back to me. “I’m not lying and I’m definitely not saying what I think you want to hear. When I tell you that you’re the most beautiful, perfect, woman for me, I mean it.”
