Page 63 of Replay
“Still nothing?” Sam leans over the back of her chair on our big Greyhound bus to talk to me. Riley, seated next to me, pulls out her earbuds after hanging up her call with Reign. Isla, who is next to Sam, also peers at me through the crack in their seats.
“I’m trying not to freak out.” I blow out my breath and set my phone down again.
Sam frowns. “This is unusual for Golden Boy. He’s usually so in tune with your schedule, you don’t even get the chance to message him before he knows what you’re doing.” I squirm in my seat because what she said is true, and if she knew how stalkerish Hawke is of my schedule, she’d be concerned. I used to be concerned too until I accepted it as his love language to take care of me. And because I like it. In my own sick way, I enjoy his obsession with me, and the fact that he never wants to let me go.
“It is. That's the only reason I’m worried.”
“They did get in late last night though and I’m sure their morning was packed before the game,” Isla reminds us.
“True.” I nod my head, rubbing the bridge of my nose where a headache is forming.
“Hawke wouldn’t usually care though about that,” Riley pipes up and the look on her face is almost apologetic.
“Someone tell me something to distract me then,” I laugh nervously. “We still have an hour until we get home when I can confront him.”
“I got an invite from Boston to check out their facilities. They asked about my interest in the draft next year,” Riley responds, her usually confident tone is shaky. She’s nervous.
“Riles, that's amazing!” I tell her, squeezing her arm.
She shrugs. “It is. I was hoping to hear from New York, just because it's closer to New Jersey, but I am excited too.”
New Jersey is watching Reign and they are trying to see about getting him on their farm league, so I know that is part of the reason my bestie wants to end up as close to New York as she can.
Sam blushes and she looks down, her teeth biting her bottom lip. “I’ve actually been considering a Canadian team.”
We all turn to her, eyes wide. “But what about?—”
She holds up her hand. “I would never keep anyone from her. We’ve been talking and right now what I want is most important. I think I can make it work.”
My eyes water with unshed tears, thinking about my best friends, the women I’ve been the closest to all my life, moving away. I glance at Isla.
“Are you planning to go wherever Carter is?”
She shrinks in on herself some, but there's a fiery determination in her eyes. “I don’t plan to play professionally. I have some other things lined up, more on track with my major.”
I don’t know what to say to that, only that I’m proud of her. I hope she doesn’t let Carter hold her back. As much as I love the kid, he’s grown on me in recent years since our rivalry turned to friendship, but he’s stubborn. He’s going to lose the best thing that ever happened to him.
“Well, I guess now is as good of a time as ever to let you all know that I also don’t plan to enter any draft. I’m thinkingI want to use my communications degree and encourage girls and young women to play sports. Especially hockey. I’m not sure about everything yet but that’s my big plan wherever Hawke ends up.”
Riley grabs my arm, her smile and squeal of delight is contagious. All my friends are happy for me. “He asked you to go with him?”
I nod, feeling my cheeks blush. “Not in so many words. More like he demanded I be wherever he is.”
“Sounds about right,” Sam giggles then her eyes turn serious. “I’m happy for you, Emma. Just don’t forget that you are powerful and brilliant in your own light too. Hawke loves you for a reason. Don’t let the professional world you both will be in frighten you.”
“You’re right,” I tell her and reach forward to squeeze her hand. “I trust him. I’m excited for our future.”
My phone feels heavy in my hand. Even after telling my friends my news, I don’t feel better. I need Hawke. I’m worried that he hasn’t reached out. It's not like him at all. A second later, my phone vibrates and I look down, dread grips my chest when I see Riggs’s name on the screen. I swipe open his message.
RIGGS: Have you heard from Hawke?
My hand shakes while I type out a reply.
ME: No. He hasn’t responded to me since yesterday when you got there. What happened? Is he okay?
RIGGS: I’m not sure, Emma. After the game he was with us then went to the room early. He missed the bus this morning. Coach is having a conniption. He’s never done this before.
The world around me narrows. The lights dim, and everyone’s faces blur. I can’t breathe. My stomach twists and lurches. I need air. I need to get off the bus.
