Page 127 of When Fate Breaks
When that toast was given, I would like to say that I saw red, but I don’t think that accurately describes the way I felt. At first, it seemed like anger. For a split second, I thought I could yank every table cloth off of every table in that place, sending every piece of china and silverware handpicked by Lori Beth–Lori Beth Van der Michael, I now unfortunately know–flying and shattering into the hardwood floor. I felt betrayed. Felt like the one person in this world outside of my family that I ever truly trusted and thought I knew had lied to me. That they were never who I thought they were at all. I thought I was feeling rage. But, when I allowed myself to look at her again,reallylook at her, I realized it wasn’t anger at all I was feeling. It was grief. Pure incomprehensible sadness. I wasn’t seeing red; I was seeing blue.
The words had played over and over.
Here’s to the soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. Van der Michael.
Those were the words that told me my time here was done and that it was entirely too late. Those were the words that pushed my feet into motion and out of the door. Those were the words that made me leave.
I had just hit the porch when the other words, however, suddenly made a reappearance.
Heidi left.
You didn’t know?
She…she divorced me.
Those words. Those words and the look on Evangeline’s face as they were uttered. The million questions that arose in my mind at the sound of them. Those were the words that made me stay.
I was going to leave. I had to leave. I still do. And I will. But not until I get answers. Answers as to what the hell happened in the last six years. Answers to the questions that have lived in the tense air between us for the last few weeks. I grind my teeth together as Evangeline’s brown eyes search my face. I blink hard, not allowing myself to get lost in them.
“I asked you a question,” I grit. Her lips part, but she doesn’t answer me, looking as if she doesn’t even remember the question. “Why am I here?” I repeat.
Her brows furrow in confusion. “At the party?”
“No, Evangeline. Why am Ihere?”
“Blake…” she whispers, her head shaking and cheeks reddening.
“And don’t say just to fix a greenhouse, because we both know that’s not true.”
Evangeline attempts to steel herself, but doesn’t seem to have it fully in her, her shoulders slumping. “Blake, I’m enga–”
“Engaged,” I finish for her. “I know. To a Van der Mooch.” Her lips press into a firm line and the moonlight betrays her as it reflects off of and reveals the small tears welling in the corners of her eyes. “To a member of the exact family you saidyounever wanted to be like.”
Evangeline’s tongue pushes into her cheek and she looks away.
I take a step closer to her and she crosses her arms, as if shielding herself from me. “What happened to you, Evangeline?” I whisper. “What happened to us?”
Her head snaps in my direction immediately at my second question. “Are you seriously asking me that right now?”
“Yes,” I confirm, my head shaking and throat tightening. “How could you not tell me your parents split up? When did that even happen?”
Evangeline lets her arms fall to her side, an unhumorous chuckle escaping her. “Just over six years ago,” she says. My body stiffens, the mental math instantly clicking in place. “Right before I last saw you.”
“What?” I question, having heard her perfectly fine but not understanding at all.
“Yep,” she nods, quickly swiping a tear from her eye and regaining her defiant posture. “They sat me and Steph down like a business meeting and Mom promptly let us know that she was running off with Ronnie.”
I blink twice, my mouth drying. “Your hardware store manager?”
“The one and only.”
“I don’t understand–”
“Neither did I,” Evangeline cuts me off, the floodgates of information now open. “I didn’t get an explanation either. Mom just said that sometimes this justhappens. That her and Dad grew apart. I knew what that really meant. I knew there was nothing mutual about that break-up. They didn’t grow apart, Mom pulled away. I know now, after having time to think back on it, that things between her and Ronnie had to have been going on a lot longer than she let on. I think she wanted to leave for a while, but waiting to do so until she had the excuse of my dad being detached and distant due to the sudden tragedy of losing his best friend somehow made her feel better about herself. That she was somehow able to justify it. Like that doesn’t make the whole situation ten times worse and doesn’t make her ten times more selfish.”
Evangeline takes what I think is her first full breath in the last minute. Once she looks back at me, I notice her eyes look apologetic. I’m sure that is having to do with the last part of her rant. I’m sure she’s regretting saying it, probably thinking that she made my dad’s death about her and that she’s offended me. She hasn’t. My dad’s passing affected everyone. She’s allowed to be hurt. She’s allowed to be angry.
God knows I was.
