Page 78 of When Fate Breaks
“Did you date anyone in high school?”
I run my hand through my hair. “No.”
“Really?”
“Yes, Blake.” He doesn’t respond right away, so I continue. “It’s not like I’ve never had any dating experiences. I’ve gone out with some guys. Had some fun. I just don’t really…date.”
“Why not?”
“Because nobody I’ve been around in high school or college has ever been worth it. There’s never really been that spark.”
“Spark?”
“Yeah. That feeling deep in my gut like…like I justknowI want to be with this person. Like I can see it going long term. And if there’s no spark, I just feel like there’s no point. I’m not into wasting time.”
Blake stifles a laugh.
“...What?” I question.
“I don’t know. It’s just kinda funny.”
“What is?”
“You not wanting to waste time. It’s interesting.”
“Why?”
“Because, Evangeline,” he pauses, “...isn’t that exactly what we’re doing?”
My chest constricts, my spine steeling. “Blake…” I breathe. “You know that’s different.”
Blake lets out a sigh. “I know.”
I chew at my bottom lip. I seriously wish Blake wouldn’t have brought this subject up, because now I have to ask. I can’t allow myself to stay in blissful ignorance any longer.
“Have you? You know, dated anyone…? Like, since–”
“No.”
“Oh.”
Guilt pangs my chest. I hate this. I wish it was easier. Why can’t we just fast forward five years? Or why can’t we just live within the sameregionof the United States? I know Blake wants this. Wants us. And I want it too. So bad it hurts. But I know we’re doing the right thing. We can’t do this half ass. Can’t live phone call to phone call and spend every night sad and lonely constantly in anticipation of seeing each other again. That’s no way to live. We deserve better than that. Blake deserves better than that.
I clear my throat, having no desire to say what’s on the tip of my tongue, but knowing it’s the right thing.
“You know…you can. If you want to.”
Blake snorts. “Thanks for your permission, Evangeline. But I’m not really interested in dating anyone.”
“Oh…okay.”
A few moments of silence pass before Blake lets out a deep sigh.
“What?” I whisper.
“I guess I just…” he trails off.
“What?”
