Page 157 of Something Rad
“Wait,” I say, shaking my head. “What?”
She lets out a frustrated sigh. “You being mad about me kissing Paul is entirely hypocritical when you just kissed Denise.”
“That’swhy I have zero right to be mad?” I ask.
“Well, yeah?” she says, exasperated.
Interesting.
“So let me see if I have this straight, Cooper. It’s hypocritical for me to get mad about seeing you kiss Paul?”
“Yes. Are we speaking the same language?”
“Okay,” I nod. “So that means it made you mad to watch me kiss Denise.”
Her spine straightens, and she blinks at me several times. “Not sure what logic you used to deduce that, but no, that’s not what that means.” She tries to move around me for the door, but I block her path.
“What’s it mean then, Cooper?”
“What is your obsession with keeping me captive in closets?” she asks, diverting. “It’s becoming concerning.” She tries to take another step towards the door, but I hold my ground. She lets out a huff, looking up at me with irritation in her gaze.
“What does it mean, Cooper?” I repeat, more slowly this time.
She stares back at me for a dozen long seconds, her eyes darting between mine, before she answers. “It means that I didn’t care.” My head pulls back. “So you shouldn’t have cared about Paul,” she finishes, crossing her arms.
Now it’s my turn to stare at her for an extended amount of time. I swallow, standing up to my full height. “Good.”
“Good?” she questions.
“Yeah,” I nod. “Good. Because I didn’t.” Cooper raises a questioning brow at me. “Care.”
It’s subtle, but I see her face fall, her facade faltering for just a moment before she corrects herself. “Good,” she repeats, her voice even.
We stare off in silence for a few more moments before Cooper side-steps me for the door again. I let her this time. I tell myself I’m going to let her go, but the second I start to hear the door handle twist, I turn around, and the filter between my thoughts and my voice cracks wide open.
“But if we’re playing everything equal here,” I say, making her pause in place, “my allowing Denise to kiss me– well, technically,youallowing her to kiss me– ”
“Iallowed her?” Cooper questions, spinning back around to face me.
“Uh,yeah?” I laugh. “If anything, I’d say you encouraged her.”
Cooper lips part, her eyes narrowing on me. “What was I supposed to say?”
I tilt my head at her.
“Did you notwantto kiss her?” she asks me.
My mouth falls open, but no answer comes out.
I don’t know why. If she would have asked me a month ago if I wanted to kiss Denise, my answer would’ve been immediate. Absolutely, without a doubt, any minute of any day–yes. But, tonight, I…I don’t know. I’m not sure when exactly it happened, but nothing seems so black and white anymore. I’m not sure when the color red stormed into the picture and took the whole thing over.How could I have let that happen?I neverwantedthat to happen.
Cooper is staring at me expectantly, waiting for an answer I don’t have to give to her. So I respond to her question with a question of my own.
“Did you want me to kiss her?”
She shakes her head, a humorless smile on her face. “I don’t really care what you do or who you do it with, Robbie.”
I can see it in the slight twitch of her lips and the way she refuses to let those gray eyes meet mine for more than a second before she looks away again.
